How Can I Last a Week Without My Girl?

My daughter, my youngest is going on vacation with one of her friends to South Carolina for a week.

This will be the longest time I have ever spent apart from her...a week that I am NOT looking forward to.

My girl is so tremendously special to me, that the love I feel for her is an actual ache.

She was born eighteen years to the day that my Mother died. Her first name is my Mother's maiden name...Massey.

I love all three of my children equally and deeply...but my "girl" is my best friend...and a connection and link to my Mother that I realize God gave me when he sent her into my life on the same day that he took my Mother out of my physical life.

She scratches my back when I ask her. She makes me my glass of Nestle's Quik every morning, and she kisses me every night before she goes to bed. If I am working at night, she always sends me a text saying "G NITE...LUV U"

I am terrified of her driving in a car with someone for such a long distance...once I receive a text that she has gotten to South Carolina, I think that I will feel better. But who knows?

I know that both of my sons are envious of the close bond that she and I share,
but us women HAVE to stick together....we are totally outnumbered by the testosterone in our house.

I can honestly say that everyone who has ever met my daughter has been totally sucked in by her. She is a delightful girl...wise beyond her years (although her report cards do not show it) and has a heart that is full, joyous and giving.

She chooses her friends not because they are pretty or popular...but because she likes them. She will befriend someone that others are cruel to, because it is part of who she is, and she knows that it is the right thing to do. For a twelve year old girl to have that quality is amazing to me (if you have ever had any experience with middle school age girls, you know of what I speak).

I am sure that the week will go by fine, with no problems...but it is hard to let your youngest go so far away for such a long period of time.

It is hard to let them grow up...for when they grow up, they seem to grow away. And again, she is my youngest...my last "BABY".

How did my kids grow up so quickly, and how am I going to deal with them leaving the nest, leaving my home, and leaving me with an empty feeling as I watch them all grow into young adults and begin to create their own life on their own?

Granted, she is only twelve, but she will be thirteen next month...and before I know it she will be twenty!!

My boys are easier...they will meet a woman one day that will shove them down the path of life. I am just hoping that Massey has the right man to shove down the path of life. But if her childhood choice of friends has been any indication...she should be alright. And if she happens to make a bad choice...Thank God she HAS two brothers.

I only have six days left before she comes back...and I will be marking them off the kitchen calendar with a big "X " , as if I was sitting in a prison cell counting down my days to freedom.

Who in the heck is going to bring me my glass of chocolate milk in the morning?

It is going to be a long, long week!!

Till next time COTTON

My Big Left Wing Mouth

As I have said in many posts... I AM A DEMOCRAT !!! I stand by my politics like I stand by my faith.

We have a family website that includes cousins, aunts, uncles...no grandparents left on this earth. Just us "UPSTARTS" with a distant cousin thrown into the mix (she is currently our Matriarch).

I came home from work last night ...checked my email...checked my blog... and began to type. I shot off my big mouth..and was sorry that I inflicted my political views on the website.

I guess that I should monitor myself when not typing on my blog. I am a person that will tell every part of her being , thought and soul to anyone that will listen.

Many (most of) my friends at work are Republicans.

They will be disappointed in this post. Or maybe if they can be open minded they will listen to my rant.

The United States is in the toilet. Every One hates us. Our dollar couldn't buy you half of a "happy meal" in another country...except maybe Mexico, where almost half of their country is already here sending their pittance back home to relatives hoping to join us with a fake social security number and a job washing dishes.

In my opinion....(I get to have this on my blog)... Dick Cheney is a crook and a cheat...and has been running the country.

We need to have a "Change"...not to steal Obama's thunder..but to enhance and stand behind it.

Our men and women are dying overseas...we are increasingly "Pissing" off not only the Muslim community, but the entire world with our "WE'LL TAKE OVER" attitude.

We need DESPERATELY to make a "CHANGE" and make it pretty quick.

We need to have someone that realizes the needs of this country, the needs for change, and the need for action.

Thank the Lord, my husband does not read my blog. He is a staunch Republican. In other words...he is in denial.

This country needs a swift kick in the ass...a realization that we have invaded a country, torn them apart, albeit...they are screwed up anyway.

We need to focus on US...GET IT? "U" "S" . UNITED STATES.

We need to get our own economy, gas prices, grocery prices and insurance premiums under control...before we set out to change the world.

Let's start with our own back yard.

You know what? They may try to bomb us again, but if money was kept here in the states, focused on homeland security...maybe we could do more good at protecting ourselves than at protecting people that are half way around the world, and are already ticked off at us being in their country anyway.

In my opinion (which is small and probably disregarded)

Let's TAKE CARE OF OUR OWN...Let's bring our men and women home...let's focus on "US" for a while. Let's let someone new, fresh and excited try to give it a shot at making us a country that I can feel comfortable about and a country that I will not only feel more secure in...but a country that I will have FAITH in and one that I can be proud of. Till next time...COTTON (sorry Lisa)

My Yankee Connection

One of my faithful blog readers is a wonderful friend that has escaped the heat and humidity of the south, to return to her New York roots. She has three young kids and a wonderful husband.

She and I became acquainted when we worked together in a restaurant as the dayshift waitresses of a local restaurant. I had worked for the company for over ten years...moving from one store to another...managed one store for several years, and came to a new store that had opened since the owners had started to sell franchises.

We worked for a boss that can be summed up in two words..."BIN LADEN". He suffered from the Napoleon complex in a HUGE way (no pun intended....well, maybe a "little"...another pun)!!

He could be as sweet as silk..and then BAM!!! He could sling on that turban and seem to have an M-16 hanging over his shoulder in a matter of a few seconds.

Talk about a hot head!!

Needless to say, I enjoyed pushing his buttons more than I should have, and bore the brunt of his temper quite often.

We had liquor permits that we had to have on display...a drivers license size card that showed your picture and name.

I found a picture of ole Ossama Bin Laden one day in the paper that was the exact size of our liquor permit picture. I taped it over our boss's picture on his permit card.

Everyone that worked there thought it was not only hilarious, but VERY appropriate.

Our tyrant of a boss (who actually COULD be very nice, but had a fuse as short as his stature) took five dollars out of my paycheck for "tampering with the permits".

He should have known better, having known me for almost fifteen years.

I went right back to the newspaper, and found a picture of the pop star "prince" who was at the time going by a symbol instead of his name. When the press referred to him , they called him "The Artist Formerly Known As". By the way....How ridiculous was THAT?

So I find me a pic of Prince that exactly matched the size of my liquor permit photo...taped it over my own picture, and in the exact print that had shown my name on the card...taped over my name "The Waitress Formerly Known As".

BAM!! He took fifteen dollars out of my paycheck. And threatened to fire me if I touched another permit on the wall.

My friend and I had many , many hours of fun tormenting our "little" Napoleon. It was always on the sly and always just under the radar, so that we couldn't be fired.

She and I "ran" that place...we just let him "THINK" he was the boss. The bond that we formed in that short period of time will last a lifetime, and although she has moved miles and miles away from me...she will be close to my heart forever.

We had nicknames for all the regulars and other employees (only known to us) and shared a million laughs together.

She had a baby...moved back to New York...had two more babies...and is living out her dream of being a MOM...one that she was born for. She is a compassionate, articulate and intelligent woman, and I feel proud to call her my friend.

We speak to each other only once every year or so, but thanks to the internet, we have been keeping in touch more and more.

The years that I worked with and spent with her are precious to me. I can bust a gut thinking of some of our antics...and sometimes wonder if "OLE" Napoleon ever got over the anxiety that we inflicted on him on an almost daily basis.

Friends are a treasure to me that I will never take for granted. If you are my friend...you will be my friend for life. You will always be in my heart and soul.

If you are my friend...know that I will always love you and that I will always be there for you...now, tomorrow or ten years from tomorrow.

To my sweet "JO JO"... Thanks for the memories, thanks for loving me and thanks for reading my petty blog. You of all people know how much my writing means to me, how it fills me with satisfaction and gives me a place to show my heart.

I hope that every one has an outlet that they enjoy as much as I enjoy ... relish and appreciate... this vehicle, vice, space of my own, "my baby"...my BLOG.

Because of my friends, because of my family, because of my wacky interpretation of life... I am here...writing all of this to all of you!

And HEY !! Thanks for reading it. It means a lot to me...more than you could ever imagine.

Till next time...COTTON

Racially Ridiculous

One of the servers that work with me is amazing, smart and and African American.

She has recently started law school and is worked to death for no pay, with her internships. She works with us "PEONS" on the weekends...and whenever she can squeeze in a shift so that she can earn some money .

She is an absolute delight. I have only known her for a short time, but consider her my friend.

I work in a city that has their nose so far up in the air, it is a wonder that they can see where they are walking.

She is not your light skinned variety of an African American . She is TRULY a Black woman...a wonderful, intelligent and sophisticated woman that will undoubtedly go very, very far in her life and leave a huge mark on the world. When she does, I will be excited to say that I knew her when she was "just" a server.

Since she has been at our store, I know of two occasions that she has been so horrifically and unjustly treated by "White" people...YES I can call them that, because I am WHITE myself..and on these two occasions, I was embarrassed for my race and the way that they behaved.

The first guy, just DIDN'T like her. It was obvious from the beginning. He berated her for no reason, found fault with her service where there was none...yet when one of us "white" servers went by his table he was exceptionally polite and kind. It made me sick to my stomach.

The second was even worse.

We were all standing in the alley way of our service area where we prepare drinks and expedite the food out of the kitchen. This man came almost "storming" into the face of my friend and quite loudly demanded "Can I HAVE my credit card back"? She looked at him inquisitively and said "sir"? She asked wasn't it in the book with the check that she had placed back on his table ? He VERY rudely said that it wasn't there and he would like to have it back.

God bless her, she sweetly said that she would be right over to his table to help him.

His demeanor and attitude told every one of us that heard, that he felt she had either taken his card, lost it or was copying the numbers down for her later use.

When she went back to his table ...it was RIGHT THERE...behind his receipt in the book that she had left on the table.

I asked her what his response or apology was? He had neither. He walked out the door in a huff, acting like it was her fault he was too stupid to look through the entire book before he came to challenge her in front of all her fellow employees , and make her look like some kind of con artist or cheat.

He left her a crappy tip, and he left me with a foul, bitter taste in my mouth and in my heart.

How can people blatantly be so biased that they actually spend their time creating and manufacturing problems where they don't exist...just to try to make someone look bad, to justify their obvious total racism?

I have complete faith in this young woman. She rises above it EVERY time, and always says.."They are just showing their stupidity."

Her ability to ignore the ignorance, to ignore the bias, to ignore the slights... she takes it all in stride...with AMAZING grace and humility.

When she gets her law degree...I will not only give her a party...but probably a retainer as well.

She is as good a person as I have ever had the honor to know and call my friend.

Look out!! You racist, crooked , dishonest slime balls!! I have a friend on the way to her future that is going to kick your ASS!!!

Till next time WHITE COTTON!!

You ordered chopped steak...but what am I ? Chopped Liver?

I ran a plate of food to a table the other night at work. It went to a pretty young guy...sitting by himself. I sat the chop steak down and he began to explode.

"I ORDERED this WITHOUT onions, I told her I didn't want onion!!". I replied calmly that I would take it back and that it would be no problem to bring him the correct steak.

The young waitress that had taken his order told me that the man wanted to see me, and I told her to tell him I wasn't there. She replied that he could see that I was still there...I guess my two inch spiked hair and Melanoma inducing dark tan gave me away.

After her saying that he was still asking to see me, she said that she thought he wanted to apologize .

I approached the table hesitantly, and told him that I was almost scared to come back to his table.

He said that as soon as I had walked off from his table he had felt terrible about the way he had spoken to and treated me.

I gently patted him on the shoulder and said "Don't worry about it...as soon as I turned to walk away, I called you an ass hole in my head".

Let me inject here that I KNOW what customers I can joke with, and this young guy actually found me quite humorous.

He said "Did you really"? I said "no", and then said "Yeah, I really did." But I told him that I had been a server for thirty years, and he would be pressed to a point to insult me...I had heard it all by this stage in my career. I told him that it was our fault his order was wrong and that I was sorry he had been served the wrong food.

He ended up leaving the server a ten dollar tip on a fifteen dollar meal.

Sometimes you just have to stand up and say "What am I?...Chopped Liver"?

For Pete's sake...it's a piece of meat!! It is not like that was the last piece of Chopped Steak left on the planet.

We made him happy in the end, and I made him laugh at not only himself, but at me as well.

Granted you can't treat every person this way, but I pick and choose carefully who I joke with...and he took it exceptionally well.

I believe it was one of my finer moments as a server....don't you?

Till next time COTTON

Another Bullet Dodged

Made another trip up to Piedmont Hospital today. My daughter went with me...She said they have "GREAT" food in the cafeteria, and she wanted some of it.

One of my favorite customers at work, as well as a good friend...had a procedure done to see if he needed to have stints put in his heart .

We all commandeered the waiting room. His wife was there, along with his parents and siblings, his son and a few close friends. We all chatted and joked (mostly me joking...but HEY that seems to be my Forte).

A group huddled together hoping for the best outcome to what could possibly be bad news all around.

We pretty much filled the waiting room up ourselves. A few people that dared join us, were subjected to our running the place...having taken over the room as our own.

After a nail biting hour and a half, we were greeted with the news that all was well.

Another bullet dodged...another happy outcome...another reason to thank God.

These were wonderful people that I was surrounded by and I could not be happier for them to have received good news about their loved one.

I ran into one of the nurses that took care of my brother in law when he had his open heart surgery and she was sweet to ask about how he was doing since his big "CRACK IT OPEN".

My daughter got her "fix" from the hospital cafeteria, and my friends got the "fix" that they had all been hoping for...another bullet dodged.

I wish nothing but happiness and well being for my friends...and they truly deserve it.

It was a day well spent. Everyone that has this kind of trauma in their lives need to be surrounded and supported by the ones that love and care about them.

That feeling was definitely alive in that waiting room...he was supported to the "Max " and that support system carried his wife through a couple of truly frightening hours.

Now I can feel free to pick on him again when he comes into my restaurant...maybe even tell him about the "Coronary" specials of the day...and tell him that with every double cheeseburger you can get free defibrillator for only a $300,000 up charge.

Another bullet dodged...another happy ending for some friends that can certainly use a break.

I am glad that it all turned out well for them, and that it turned out well for me...I got to do another amusing post instead of another tragic story of life.

Till next time COTTON

THANKS For NOTHING!!

I went into work today at 10 AM. I was scheduled to work until 10 PM. I had parked my car in a last space of the back parking lot so that if someone hit my car...it could only be from one side. Around 3PM...knowing that I would be leaving after dark with a pocket full of cash by myself...I moved my car to a spot beside the handicap parking..right outside the side door I would be leaving . Around 4Pm...my coworkers coming in for the evening shift told me that my car had been hit by someone, and that they had left my rear hubcap leaned against my tire.

I went outside to discover that not only had they scraped and dented the entire driver side of my car , knocked my hubcap off...left the mark of the "RED" paint of their vehicle on my silver Passat...but had been gracious enough to get out of their own car and lean my hubcap against my car, get back into their own car and drive away. " KUDOS to YOU... "A" HOLE" !!

THANKS FOR NOTHING!!

If I had left my car where it was originally...I could have saved my deductible...but would have been nervous about walking out the door with $200 in my pocket.

As it is...I am now going to have to pay a deductible, take my car to the shop, have it repaired...and take a hit on my OWN policy.

No note on the windshield...no one coming back inside to see who's car it was.

Just "ME"...having to take 30 minutes out of the "busy" time in my profession..to go outside, give a statement to an officer...come BACK in the restaurant to an already filled section of tables.

I lost about $50 just staying outside giving a statement , while the people that hit my car, laughed their way on to the next stop.

How can you be so callous? How can you care so little for other people's property or possessions?

Granted they didn't kill one of my children or hurt me physically. But they still took money from my pocket while I stood out side with an officer taking all the information down.

WHAT IN THE "HELL" IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

I work six days a week...seven shifts, just to try to help take care of my own family. In one act of carelessness, they have cost me the expense of losing money, a deductible and a banged up....previously good looking, "PAID FOR" Passat .

Get a grip, people!! Own up to your mistakes...Don't let someone else have to pay for your own careless acts.

I just hope that it wasn't someone that I had waited on...because they sure as hell didn't leave me a big enough tip!

Thanks for the "VENT"....till next time COTTON

The Good, The Bad...and The Lazy

Last night my house was filled as usual with not only my three kids, but the neighbor's kids as well. I was going up the steps in the living room with an armload of clothes that were clean and folded. I remarked to my soon to be sixteen year old son that I wanted all of the clothes that I held to be properly put in drawers or hung in the closet. I remarked that I felt sometimes they just let them sit around so long that they eventually got shoved back into the hamper before they had even been worn...much less put up at all. Sometimes I find them back in the dirty clothes again...STILL FOLDED!!

My next door neighbor's son made the remark...let me see if I can remember it correctly.

"DUDE !! Are you too lazy to unfold them before you throw them in the basket? THAT is a dead give away"!!

I don't know what bothered me more...the fact that they are recycling clean clothes just so they don't have to put them up...or the fact that my neighbor's kid thought that my son was so dense that he didn't know that you UNFOLD the clothes before you throw them back into the laundry pile.

SURELY.....maybe I mean HOPEFULLY, my kids aren't the only ones doing this (besides my neighbor's son).

What in the world are kids thinking , when they work harder at a plan to not put up clean clothes...than just taking the small effort to do the job at hand?


AND MY KIDS WONDER WHY THEY DON'T GET AN ALLOWANCE!!

Instead of an allowance...I have thought about charging them when they are lazy. Charging them when they don't load the dishwasher. But of course they would have to borrow the money to pay me with from their father.

My solution has been this. If you want clean clothes...take them to the laundry room and do them yourself.

I am on strike in the laundry department (even as I type this post...the dryer is humming behind me with my 22 year old son's clothes that he did himself , spinning to my satisfaction).

For the most part, my kids are GOOD, some of the time they can be BAD...and a LOT of the time they can be LAZY.

Unfortunately...I seem to be stuck with them, and have had to make some MAJOR changes in regard to my title of "She'll Do Everything if We Let Her."

Things seem to be looking up, the kids are responding fairly well. I guess that running out of "undies" has it's good points when you are a mother of three.

When pushed...it is AMAZING what the Good, the Bad and the Lazy can accomplish.

Of course they are probably having secret meetings behind my back to come up with another plan of action....lucky for me; they are too lazy to come up with an idea that could fool me. You know what they say..."FOOL ME ONCE..."

Till next time ...COTTON

GOOD NIGHT, "IRENE"

My friend will know who I am talking about if she reads this post. I was thrilled to hear that she has read part of my blog. I have known this woman since as long as I can remember. She was the first person to EVER get me on a roller coaster (the "Star Liner") at the Miracle Strip In Panama City. It was the most exhilarating and terrifying moment in my ten year old life... and believe me...it set me hooked to roller coasters forever and hooked to the fact that I could NOT trust "Irene" when she said "Everything will be just fine." I had never been as scared as I was when that rickety ole coaster climbed that first hill. That "clack, clack ,clack ,clack, clack,clack ,clack" of that fifty year old wooden cart cranking up a seemingly 90 degree angle...only to send us all flying to our immediate death. But the ride ended...and I actually LIVED to tell the story. It was a night that is embellished in my memory...the night that "Coasters" replaced "SKEE-BALL" in my world of fun. I felt like I had become an adult. Granted, you didn't have fifty "Skee" Ball tickets that you could turn in for "MINI" dice or a deck of "mini" cards to play hearts with...but the excitement that I felt that night is still a very vivid and profound memory in my mind.

Being a kid is such a tremendous and happy memory for me. I know that it is not for many...and that breaks my heart and certainly puts a damper on my day.

My advice to every person on this Earth is to make a difference...if not in your own life...most definitely in someone's that deserve or really need it.

Our kids are the future...we can help the world by showing, helping or teaching...or sit idly by, wondering why our society is in such a mess.

A roller coaster ride may seem insignificant... but I was a blessed child and it still stands out as a highlight of my youth. SO many are not blessed.

What does it take to make a difference? In my opinion...NOT very much.

ACCOUNTABILITY... that is the key to a successful and prosperous future.

When everything else is tallied, when everything else comes to pass...Will you be able to say that you feel like you have been accountable for not only your actions...but your reactions?

It is a big question...but one that we ALL need to think about.

The world today greatly worries me. Are there enough of us caring? Are there enough of us to make a difference?

I truly believe that we WILL succeed... and if we begin to all pitch in, all give a little...we will reap "REWARDS UNTOLD".

And wouldn't that be a GOOD thing?

Till next time....COTTON

Living the Dream...Even Though it Can Sometimes Be a Nightmare

I have been emailing my Mother's best friend for a few months on a semi regular basis.

My Mother died when I was seventeen...It still can devastate me at any given moment in my life...She was THAT great of a person.

Her best friend is another great person. (My Mom knew how to pick them). I know that I shouldn't capitalize the word "mother"...but in MY book, she is definitely an ALL CAPS TYPE OF WOMAN!!

After my Mother died in August of 1977, I fell into a fog that grew thick around me for about twenty years (at least it seemed that long).

But in December of that same year, my Mom's friend came to take me to see the "Nutcracker" at the fabulous FOX Theatre in Atlanta. It was a wonderful night and when taking me back home,we sat in her car for at least an hour talking, crying and hugging ....and most importantly leaving me with the feeling that my Mom had left me in quite capable hands.

We spoke rarely after that, only at get-togethers, weddings and unfortunately funerals.

Sometimes I felt jealous that this woman still had all three of her girls and a husband to boot. Why couldn't I be SO lucky?

In the past few months of emails and a marvelous visit to her house one Sunday, I realized what she had on what I considered her "Silver Platter." Her husband ...her sweetheart...her soul mate, was fading away from her...she had gone from girlfriend to wife to mother, a grand mother...and back to a mother. She is the primary care giver to her husband. He has suffered a heart attack, Diabetes, memory loss, and the ability to drive a car.

She coddles him and corrects him...she is the total reason that he can live in the comfort of their home and enjoy what little peace he can sometimes find and can always have at his disposal whenever it will come to his welcome mind.

Growing old isn't easy...I can attest to that fact only being in my late forties. But the total immense feeling of love and most definite admiration for this woman absolutely bowl me over.

She still looks amazing, dresses to the nines and has a better memory than mine (and I pride myself on my memory). She is as sharp as a tack...and has even let me call her "MOM" in my emails to her.

Maybe that is why God took my Mom so early...so I wouldn't have to watch any demise of the GRAND vision that I had of her. Maybe that is why God took my Dad so quickly...he knew that my Mother wasn't there to take care of him. Maybe that is why my Mother's best friend is here...fully aware, full of life...able to take care of her husband and to take care of me.

She has been handed quite a load and has handled it most magnificently. Her husband will most probably last many more years (If my prayers do ANY good)...but even if he doesn't...thanks to her it has been a dignified, happy and content life... and one that he wouldn't change one bit.

She is a saint in my eyes and a MOTHER in my heart. Like I said before...my Mom could "Pick"Em".

So I have lost both of my parents; that IS a tragedy... but this family is helping their Dad have the best love care and devotion that a family can provide. I can see the love in his eyes...I can see the ole "GLINT" in his eye when he talks to me.

What I will always see is a family that is more my own that they would probably like. They are my back up, they are my saving grace on this Earth.

The memories and recollections are too vast and numerous...they flood my mind like a a bitter sweet swollen river...let the waters of my time with them always wash over me like a cool refreshing memory of childhood and my lifetime of knowing and loving these special people in my life.

You never know what the next year may bring...advancement in technology, miraculous improvements or just the smiling face of GOD telling us it will be OK...or not.

But you know what? We will deal whatever hand we are dealt. Do we really have a choice?

This woman, this friend of mine...is an inspiration to me. She is up for the battle and she is there for the fight. I hope...no I KNOW , that her husband knows that he is the luckiest man on Earth. I feel fortunate to come in right behind him, his daughters and the grandkids. Right now it feels like one lucky place to be... IN HER HEART! My gracious thanks go out to her...and to my Mom for knowing where to leave me. Till next time....COTTON

"Cyber" Stalkers... or ARE They ?

Went into work yesterday...just as normal. (WELL, as normal as I get). I was training another new server, and she had three tables, so I took the next one. He had walked into the store, blew past the hostess stand and landed himself in a booth by the bar. He had no menu or silverware, since he seated himself. I walked up to the table, and he immediately asked "Are you Kelly"?

I replied that I was, and he continued with "The famous KELLY from the internet"? I asked what he meant, and he said "The one with the website"?

By this time, I was just freakin out...Am I being paranoid, or am I gettin my "WORD" out a little TOO quickly"?

The rest of his meal went smoothly, he told me he was a soldier, recently assigned to Ft. Mac.
MANY doubts, many wild ideas that people out "THERE" might be actually watching and reading my life !!! Some body call "SOME" one. Then it came to me...

I put it out there, I chose to do this.

But to write, to express my thoughts and feelings... is worth any price I might have to pay (OR write a thank you note for).

Continue reading... I have two blogs in the "EDIT" stage....one about my three kids...entitled "The Good, the Bad and the Lazy."

Another is about the workplace....TUNE in for that one!!!

Till next time...COTTON

"E" Leeza "Beth" This is my Birthday Present To You

One of the most favorite people in my life is "Elizabeth". She pronounces it just like I wrote it in the title of this blog. She is a SOUTHERN woman through and through...MY KINDA GAL!! She was my father's companion, friend and love in his last days. I love her dearly, call her not enough, but when I do... she responds with all the love in her heart, and never gives me grief for not calling sooner. My kids all think of her as their grandmother.....and I don't think she would want it any other way.

She may be in her eighties (I hope you are...Cin told me you were but I found it hard to believe) , but she is sharp as a tack, on top of her game and someone that I love

My Dad was pretty smart. He knew once my MOM died, she would never, ever be replaced. But after almost a quarter of a decade went by, he settled into a wonderful and comfortable life with his choice..."ELIZABETH".

They were friends, they were fellow Christians and they were in love. It seems strange to me to call them lovers but they were...they were in love . I KNOW that my Dad loved her , she was an intimate part of his being, and a soul mate...something he never thought he would ever find after my Mother died.

She came to know all of us ..love all of us and wormed her way easily into all of our lives. I sometimes think that she may miss him more than us, and that breaks my heart because I know how much I miss him and if it hurts her more...it must be almost unbearable for her.

But we try to still include her..NO, not try, but WANT to include her in our lives. She is the last thing that we have to connect us on this Earth with our Dad (DIDDY) as we called him and always will.

She sat at the hospital for almost ten days as we all did, waiting for my "Diddy" to get better...which unfortunately he did not. But we stuck it through, we laughed, we cried, we remembered and we hoped.

I almost feel that she suffered a loss greater than we did.

I feel it a great honor to have her call me a friend... for my kids to call her a grandparent, and for her not ever being upset that I have taken too long to call and check on her, but to always be happy to receive my call and for her loving me the way I know my "Diddy" knew she always would .

You are stuck with us, Elizabeth, you are one of us, and my "DIDDY" would want it no other way. He knew what he was doing when he brought you into our family...he was keeping the love that he had given us as children alive, he was giving you to us...and what a gift you have been.

When Will Kids Stop Being Kids?

I was talking to my sister tonight, as we commiserated about our similar situations. I am forty eight, she is "fifty" something. I have raised and sent one son off...only to have him fly back into the nest at the age of 22...bringing back with him a dog that I now take care of and feed.

My sister has a 26 year old still living with her, having flown out of the nest, back into the nest, out once more and now home to roost!

Neither pay us rent, nor contribute to the household chores or care what their room looks like or what dishes or laundry is scattered within our eyesight.

Not speaking for my sister, but I have become hardened to the point that I have to MAKE myself be nice to my son...a "MAN" that I do indeed love dearly...but constantly am in awe at his lack of gratitude or sense of duty.

Wasn't it him that said "I AM OUTTA HERE" with a defiance that I thought would never find him creeping back to his own bedroom ? He doesn't help us with the bills, but manages to find the one item in the refrigerator that I truly want...and scarf it down (leaving the empty plate in the floor of his room).

He has his good points...he is pleasant to look at, very handsome and witty. He isn't into drugs or an alcoholic. His main bad vice is driving me and my husband insane (which he is extremely talented at).

He lives in his "cave"..his room which is so handily supplied with a wireless laptop (that we bought him ) cable TV, and quick access to the kitchen and a bathroom..(he is on the bottom floor of the house, with all of the other bedrooms on the third floor).

It can be 1:30 in the afternoon, and my daughter and her friends will be chatting (albeit) loudly...and he will crack the door to his cave and tell them to "SHUT UP"!!

Luckily my sister's son sleeps till about 4 or 5...and has no pesky sisters to bother him.

My point being..."WHAT IN THE HELL ARE THESE KIDS DOING TO US"?

I would have never done to my parents the kind of abuse that my kids are doing to me . Of course I grew up with "BUTT WHIPPINGS" so severe that they made a lasting and profound impression . But today, it is called child abuse...it ought to be called child REARING!!

My middle son is not much better. He is so smart that I find it hard to believe he is mine! But he refuses to put any of his talent into his school work, and with very little effort has "PUTZ" his way into the ninth grade. He can talk to you about anything...and is almost always right... but ask him to pass algebra and you would think that I asked him to go out back and dig an eight foot hole with a garden spade.
I know that I have spoiled my kids, and that is part of their problem...but how could I have created such monsters with no sense of remorse or sense of accountability?

Let's blame it on modern technology. Let's blame it on cell phones, myspace, texting, Blockbuster, video games, internet...ANY thing but ME!!

But regrettably, it all comes down to me. I am their mother, and I am the one that raised them. My only saving salvation is that one day they will have children of their own...(NOT living in my house) and will say to themselves....while their kids are scooting across the sky in a "JETSON'S" type car......"WHAT did I do to deserve this"?

If I had it to do over again, there would be a LOT more "butt" whippings, and a LOT less "BUT MOM"!!

I can only hope that as time passes, they will eventually realize that I really DID know what I was talking about when they weren't listening...and will be glad to repeat it, or once again show them the way.

I love my kids (to a fault) and only want the best for them... But don't kill me while you are finding out I was right all along.