Sunday, September 14, 2014

So THIS is What it Feels Like!

I finally feel like the woman in the photo above again. This was over five years ago  when I still had all the  jewelry Tim had given me over the years and weighed over two digits. The only thing I didn't pawn in desperate times was my wedding set. I should drop by the pawn shop sometime and see if my starfish necklace and bracelet are still there, and I kinda miss those nice Diamond earrings he gave me too. Do they give you a deal when you buy back your own stuff? I wonder.

It's been like starting over these past few months. When we moved in together in 1988 we were broke but managed to pay all the bills, mostly on time.

It's 2014 and are right back where we started.

Call me crazy but I feel wonderful about that! We could be homeless by now, literally but aren't. I could still be spinning my wheels at a job that I loved but couldn't make ends meet with but I'm not. Tim could still be unemployed but isn't. I have a new job which has turned out to be everything I (literally) banked on and then some.

I'm in my mid fifties basically starting from scratch and feel absolutely blessed to be doing so. The 'other shoe' has dropped so many times I don't even hear it hit anymore, just pick it up and put it back on.

All the while had three kids old enough now to realize we were broke, but all three were our champions. They never complained and handled the humility with amazing resiliency.

Shout out to my former "Ankle Biters"!

You know, if it had been just Tim and me, may have turned in my resignation and walked away on the whole thing about four years ago. Not that I don't love Tim. I do !

I said it over a quarter of a century ago in front of God and about fifty people who knew me well and meant it.

I vividly remember the words Tim's former childhood minister asked me to agree to.

The blanks would be... Kelly, Tim, husband.

Been there done that.

I didn't even get a tee shirt but sure got a lot more.

I have three kids who absolutely make my heart sing and only rarely break it.

I have a husband who probably sits in the back of  our walk in closet when I'm not home in a fetal position banging his head against the wall, hasn't killed me yet and still tells me he loves me.

He's a keeper too.

Here's the thing. I tend to  think I'm hilarious and most always right. (usually am and am) DUH!!

In reality all often tell me I'm not that funny and roll their eyes when they think I'm not looking.

Oh, I'm looking!

You see those frown lines between my eyes?

You're welcome!

We almost lost everything and nearly lost my funny bone but all survived in tact, thanks to so many. The number is well over a hundred but every gift, phone call and encouragement was the final push.

Used to feel like this... (cutting my eyes at Tim while saying "Are you kidding me, I gave up my semi virginity for THIS?")

To my new feeling:

Heck Yeah and Woo to the Hoo!

I stumbled (after a lot of pulling) into a totally different world and environment. It was complete insanity from the training and learning to navigate not only the commute without owning a vehicle to the entire one eighty of working behind security at the world's busiest airport in an incredibly prestigious restaurant but guess who made it?

This girl!

Thank goodness I pickled well.

If you can't laugh at your own misfortunes, always strive for success, know Karma (along with many others) is also your friend you simply ain't doing it right.

Trust me, I ain't throwing no "Shade" it's Fo Shizzle this time!

Trifling: Webster's definition is "Of slight worth or importance. Frivolous or idle."

Nope, I gotcha on all four!

Tumbling into bed, jumping out of bed at the last minute, smearing on some war paint, screaming to the airport and fighting the good fight again tomorrow.

Every morning I wake up is a good's YOUR choice to make it so and I'm a "Chooser" fo shizzle.

Til next time...COTTON

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