Thursday, September 25, 2014

I Refuse To Wake Up

It didn't hit me until today. For six years we've been broke as jokes. We went through our savings and 401K,  borrowed from Peter to pay Paul and without the help of friends and family simply never would have survived, but did.

I didn't have to leave the house today until noon and stayed in bed til almost eleven. Around ten thirty the power went off. I heard the TV cut off and noticed the ceiling fan slowly stop spinning.

About five seconds later my son hollered "Mom?" Called back to him that I knew the power was off but pretty sure it would be back on soon.

He hollered back "Did you pay the bill?"

Until about four months ago I would have thought the same thing. Been there, done that. I knew we were current on mortgage and utilities. I owed the Verizon giants and had the money, just like to make them beg.

Then out of habit called back to Zach "Check out the window to see if a truck is in our driveway."

No truck.

Five minutes later the power came back on.


I was kinda nervous...knee jerk reaction.

Over the past six years we have had the cable, electricity, gas, trash service and water all cut off at one time or another.

Not fun.

We've been threatened with foreclosure (don't even get me started on how much I despise Hells Fargo) and often been out of a vehicle all together but somehow fumbled, stumbled and were helped to continue on.

And we did.

A little over four months ago got sick of feeling sick to my stomach every morning wondering how we would make it another day.

I was an over middle aged waitress with a kid in college. My best qualification was I was a hard worker.

Thinking that should count for something, applied for a job so over my head I couldn't even see it with binoculars. (or an FBI background check)

I was an absolute nervous wreck the entire first month. To begin with was like getting into the Pentagon for work the day after "Nine Eleven" and it was your first day on the job, with an even harder commute to and from... considering I didn't even own a car.

 Don't even get me started on how much I had to learn how to fake until could absorb the tons of things these people expected Granny Clampett to learn in fourteen days.

But I did.

Four short months later we are current on all the bills, Tim has a new job thanks to a good friend of mine (Love you long time, Vicki)  and have even been able to begin to repay all the people who so generously helped us limp along.

Yes it was a hard few years but that's what makes it even sweeter.

We made it!

Sometimes we got discouraged and knocked down more times than I care to count but we never gave up. Oh we all felt like giving up at one point or another but just kept on keeping on, knowing God would provide.

And He did.

Life is so enjoyable now. I actually have two days off a week and some much needed "me" time. The house is cleaner, little things that simply didn't matter when you didn't even know if you'd be keeping your house. If they were gonna take it from us, I'd leave them a dump to sell four years from our pay off date. "Take THAT one to the bank"

Now that the dump was ours, I had a lot of catching up to do. For almost four months I worked six sometimes seven days a week and wasn't even home enough to let it bother me. Now that I have two days off it's like a new lease on life.

I cleaned the half inch of dust off every surface, even the base boards. I vacuumed up enough dog hair to make a full body toupee for a hairless Irish Wolfhound, if there IS such a breed.

I organized closets and tossed tons of junk they had been hiding. I mean, did we really NEED Tim's old corduroy jacket with the elbow patches or coats the kids wore in elementary school? Goodwill needed them more. Well maybe they didn't need them, but they got them!

Organized my junk drawer(s). Boy was that (in my case those) aptly named! Did I really need the stupid "Flair" pins  Western Sizzler had given me during my almost thirteen year stint?

Did I really need that huge basket of unmatched socks? Some of them had been waiting to be reunited with their partners for seven years. I hate to tell them, but I don't think they're coming back.

Two dear friends, known as Aunt Dellen came by around noon to bring Massey a pillowtop mattress with box springs for her bedroom...if she ever comes back.

We hauled them both into our garage and Del commented "The only clean spot to leave them is by the couch."


I resembled that remark and told her so.

Tim's car leaks oil all over the place and I have huge pieces of card board on the floor to semi absorb the problem.

We propped them up and they gave me a DVR and bag of movies to give her as well. I thought it was movies they didn't want anymore, but turned out to be about fifteen brand new videos. Massey is loved.

I left to run errands. Needed "muh hur did" and had a two dollar coupon. I checked in online at Great Clips but went by the post office first. We had a notice in our mailbox for a certified letter, from the IRS.

HOORAY! (not)

Picked it up at the post office. The woman asked me for identification as if they were fixing to hand me an envelope with a million dollar check in it. I said "Who else wants to pick up a certified letter from the IRS...really?"

Didn't even open it. Know it's not good news but if Hells Fargo can't kick us out of our house, good luck to the IRS.

Got to Great Clips and only had to wait five minutes. There are only two women who I let cut my hair and got my (now formerly) fave today.

We were chatting while she cut my hair and  mentioned I was thinking about frosting my hair like my sister does. Just to give it a kick of blonde and take away from the fast advancing gray.

She was whacking away on my hair and said "That might be nice...maybe a little sunshine in your hair won't make you look so washed out."

Dang! That was harsh... almost as bad as the time I went in for a hair cut and the chick trimming behind my ears with a razor ran it across my cheeks like I was growing a beard. At least they are thinking about (or talking about me).

So I'm washed out looking?

She pegged me right. I have almost killed myself just waiting for it to happen, but it did. Tim's working insane hours but making mucho over time doing something totally out of his league.

We survived and are finally moving ahead. Nobody said it would be easy but if you are a good person and give it your all, God's got your back.

My family has made it. We have made it. I have made it. Tim and I romantically suffered the worst blow but you know what?

We have the rest of our lives together...and he's still the one.

If this is a dream, I refuse to wake up.

 By the way, why did Orleans have strippers in the background of this video? The eighties were the bomb dot com!

Til next time..COTTON

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