Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Vacuuming Sucks...If You're Lucky

Yes, I wore a dress while vacuuming today with my apparently not so trusty vacuum cleaner! Actually it was my work uniform which happens to be a skirt. Hot flashes make it way too warm for long pants so I work in a skirt.
Worked the day shift today and got off early, around three thirty. Tim came to pick me up in our clown car.

Tim was driving, TJ was in the front seat and Zach in the back. I jumped in the back too and off we went! We had to drop both of them off at work then Tim dropped me off at home before he headed  to work. When we dropped the boys off, three doors opened. They both got out and I moved to shotgun position for the rest of  my ride home.

Since I've dropped to working six days a week have been able to keep the house much cleaner and don't regret it one minute. It's not like that seventh day would get us out of debt much quicker and gives me some semblance of "Peace of mind."

Since my sweet sister and one of my besties gave us a kitchen makeover I keep the kitchen pretty much spic and span, except for the floor. It's hard when most everyone comes in the kitchen door from the garage and three pups come in the back kitchen door from the yard. I live with three men who have no more concept of wiping their feet than the dogs do their paws when they all charge in the door.

It was early so I got all busy!

My vacuum cleaner has been giving me fits. My old one went Kaput about a year ago when Tim had no job at all. I went to WalMart and bought the cheapest Hoover they sold. If a vacuum cleaner could run away from home mine would. Three men and three big dogs make a job tough for a cheapo vacuum cleaner. My new kitchen now looks so amazing  that you are immediately drawn to gaze at the wonder of it all and the floor often goes unnoticed...except (hopefully) by me.

I recently learned that at least once a week I have to take every filter out of the vacuum and wash them. They take forever to dry and you can't use the stupid thing til they do. I've never been one to wait so usually use my hair dryer to dry them.

 I did just that last week so today just emptied it and washed the little tank that sucks up all the dog hair. I started vacuuming and the thing was spewing more crap out the back than it was sucking up.

I, of course got immediately frustrated so took all the filters out and beat the crap out of them on the pavement in the driveway.

Started again and was like vacuuming with a Suzy Homemaker toy. I dragged it out to the garage and decided to see if the belt was broken. Been there, done that...many times.

It took me ten minutes to find a Phillips head screwdriver. I noticed a lot of the screws weren't tight on the face plate covering the bottom and decided THAT was the problem!

All screws tight and back into the house I went.

It worked even worse. I dragged it out to the garage again and took OFF the face plate.

I felt like throwing up.

There was so much junk and dog hair clogged up around the roller which DID have a good belt on it that it totally disgusted me. I'm definitely not a clean freak, who is that works six days a week, lives with three grown men and three huge dogs?

I took it to the kitchen sink and scrubbed off enough junk and dog hair to make a complete toupee for a bald Irish Wolfhound. I had to take a Zyrtec just to finish the job.

So two hours later, I REALLY got busy and ole Hoover worked like a champ, granted a cheap one.

I dragged my little cheap buddy back out to the garage to dump his tank one more time so if anyone else in the house suddenly got all crazy and wanted to actually USE the vacuum would be clean and ready to go.

There sitting on my makeshift workbench was one filter I had forgotten to put back in.

How stupid can I be? At least the vacuum had been cleaned really well. Imagine how good a job it would have done if it had ALL the filters in?

I'll tell you how stupid I am.

I do my own exterminating. I go to Walmart and buy the big jug of Great Value "Home Protection" pesticide. Three times a year I come in the kitchen door and start spraying the baseboards. I follow them from room to room completing the entire circumference of the house then go outside and do the same with the outside of our home foundation.

I went in the garage the other night, grabbed my jug and got "Busy with it."

 Unfortunately I didn't bother to put on my glasses. Heck, who needs glasses to pump a handle of pesticide and am pretty sure I know the floor plan of the house we've lived in for almost eighteen years.

We live in a tri level house. The first floor is kitchen, dining room, laundry room, bathroom and Massey's bedroom. Oh I made sure to douse it good, the pups were out back!

I got upstairs to the second floor, our huge great room when the phone rang. I found my peepers and put them on to see caller ID and answered the phone. After hanging up the phone I noticed the jug in my hand said "Weed Killer."

I went back downstairs to put the jug back out in the garage and the  kitchen smelled like it had just been fertilized.

And to think I complain about how dense the men I live with can be?

I opened all the windows and left the dogs out back til the obviously not so dense men all got home.

Am I an idiot or what?

Here's the thing...

Yes I rule the house and do most of the work but am always using it to point out what they DON'T do. Yet they never criticize me for going weeks without making them a home cooked meal. Granted they don't do things the way I want but all love me, even when I am an idiot.

They never massage my back long enough when it's killing me but always give an attempt. They DO notice when I cut the grass and compliment on how good it looks.

They overlook my "Breaking Bad" addiction... am currently re watching the entire series when all aren't home or get home and go to bed. They brag on me when I DO cook and have never complained about anything I make them to eat.

Yep, we own one car for the five of us but at least we HAVE a car. Yes the house smelled like the Uni Bomber lived here for two days but none of them complained.

Tim's really frustrated trying to land a full time job and obviously feeling bummed out.

Here's my TAKE:

We'll be just fine. It will happen. We'll be alright.

God's got this.

Happy to say nobody  died from me poisoning the entire inside of the downstairs and have full confidence everything will be okay.

I bet nobody has made God laugh as much as us! No worries, He's Got This.

Til next time...COTTON

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