Thursday, February 27, 2014

My Hat's Off to Housewives

Dang, going back to work tomorrow will feel like a vacation. I have cleaned every room in the house, minus two of the Lost Boy's. Laundry, check! Kitchen floor mopped,check! Bathrooms scrubbed, check! Entire house vacuumed minus one Lost Boy's, check!

Today I started by the kitchen door to my fabulous newly painted kitchen and began scrubbing dog slobber, other unidentifiable globs, marks and stains from all my walls. I took it one room at a time. Once the walls were clean I went back and did the baseboards. Whoever invented the Magic Eraser is a genius or owned dog's who sling slobber everywhere.

Once the walls and baseboards were done, the doors looked dingy so I did them too. The more I cleaned the more I saw that needed to be cleaned.
We don't live in a mansion, far from it but at least it's ours and will be paid off in less than five years. I used to be a nut about the front lawn but work got in the way a few years back. The inside was in desperate need of a thorough cleaning and way overdue. The last two days I've started about noon and worked til around nine. I have lots of books and lots of framed pictures around my house...both dust magnets. I cleaned every picture and dusted every book shelf. I even got crazy and took the light fixtures down out of the bathrooms and washed the globes. Can't blame THAT grime on the dogs but will since they can't deny it.

You know, the more I did the better I felt. Everyone was gone to work by three so it's just been me here doing my magic. I live with four men. How many of them do you think will come home tonight and say "Dang, look how nice all these walls, baseboards and doors look! And wow, she even cleaned all the light fixtures...doesn't it look amazing?" Maybe if I lived with four gay men they would but I don't so it ain't gonna happen. At least I feel amazed!

On a different note, let me share a classic COTTON moment with you from earlier today. I can't even believe I did it. This morning before I started my cleaning binge, was in our bedroom with my husband. I had my cell phone with me looking for a number thought was stored in contacts but couldn't find it. Tim was talking to me about our car's repairs (another debacle altogether) so just decided to call information and ask for the number since they also send you a text of the number. I dialed information and was surprised when  a woman answered and said "Coweta County 911, what is the nature of your emergency?"

For Pete's sake! I dialed 911 instead of 411. Number one I felt like an idiot. Number two I couldn't hang up, then they'd think the bad guy just snatched my cell phone out of my hand and was proceeding to kill me. I'll have to say the woman was very polite after I profusely apologized and she took down all my information.

Tim just slowly shook his head and walked out of the room. I think I heard him say "Way to go, Ace" toward one of the dogs on his way down the stairs.

So I'm not the brightest bulb or even the sharpest tool but seem to be pretty good at providing entertainment.

Years ago I read about a convict who escaped from jail . He went to a phone booth to call a buddy to pick him up. He dialed 911 instead of 411 to get his buddy's number. He hung up the phone but cops picked him up three minutes later at the phone booth chatting with his ride, giving directions to the pickup site.

I don't think I've had a dull day in over six years. There is always something to worry about but there is always something to laugh about.

I have one more bathroom to clean and luckily it's the half bath. It feels absolutely wonderful to have a clean house, unlike the fake clean house I've lived in for months via Febreeze, Yankee Candle tarts and a cinnamon broom tacked to the wall of my kitchen.

Baby, this house is CLEAN and even if none of the Lost Boys notice will be quick to point it out when I see even ONE of them not wiping their feet after coming in from outside. Heck, the pups even wait at the door now for me to wipe their paws.

Who doesn't love a truly clean house? My house has been fake clean for a long time. No overhead or florescent lights and no opening closet doors or looking under beds.

My life and house is an open book now. I'll just answer the front door and say "Come on in, we ain't got much money but you can see out of the windows now and don't have to put on a flea collar before sitting down for dinner."

Sounds inviting, doesn't it?

Til next time...COTTON


Robynne Sapp said...

Kelly... thank you for making me smile and laugh!! You Rock Girlfriend! Wish we could come brag on you and your clean house! :)

kelly cotton said...

If I thought we could squeeze two more bodies into this house, I'd let you! Thanks for the love.