My life has literally been through the wringer over the past couple of years. We went from a very comfortable middle class family to one on food stamps , unemployment and unconditional love and support from family , friends and even strangers. It was a reality check for my family and a lesson well learned for me. "The Golden Rule works!"
Almost a year ago my youngest son got into some trouble. In a way I saw it coming but chose to turn a blind eye. Hindsight is 20/20. You never want to think your kid is screwing up but sometimes you need to .
While I was working one night...most probably my twentieth shift in a row, the cops came semi knocking but totally busting into my house looking for my son with a warrant. They threatened to shoot my dogs and not only terrified my daughter but pointed a gun at her chest and handcuffed her as well. By the time I got home from work after receiving a call from the Sheriff's dept they had turned my house upside down. It was a wreck, so was my daughter and so was I.
Yes Zach made a mistake...a really stupid one but it broke my heart to see him taken away in hand cuffs. We left him in jail overnight to think about his actions but the "Mommy" in me couldn't stand leaving him there any longer after coming home from work the next night and hearing his pitiful sounding voice on my answering machine apologizing for messing up and asking if I could possibly bail him out? He said if I didn't have the money he would understand and ended with the clincher "I love you."
No... I didn't have the money but somehow scraped it together. As the swift wheels of justice turned like a squeaky rusted out tricycle tire... the cops who arrested him followed him every time he left the house and often sat across the street from my house just simply staring at my house.
In my opinion they made a few mistakes as well which I won't go into but it just left a bad taste in my mouth.
Zach got part time job at a gas station stocking shelves and guess who wandered in on one of his first nights there and said "Hey there buddy, how ya doing?"
I know Zach made a stupid STUPID mistake but it border lined on stalking and harassment in my book. (one they obviously never read)
Then the fall out from the neighborhood started.
My daughter was on Facebook one night and mentioned she couldn't see one of our neighbor's pictures. They had blocked her. Then another neighbor did the same. And I'm not talking about teens but grown women. I was furious to say the least. Block ME...I couldn't care less but to make a young girl feel like SHE had done something wrong made me realize how wrong THEY were.
So what mine did first? But to be a grown adult and hurt the feelings of an innocent young girl made me realize even though they talk the big CHRISTIAN talk... they have no idea how to walk the walk.
After almost a year the date finally rolled around and feeling embarrassed yet still supportive (as a parent should be) I sat in a courtroom and saw my own child sentenced to thirty days. He got lucky and will serve it with a work release. I had to leave him there and he was taken into custody and shipped over to the work release program. They let me pick him up to go to work and I return him there after work. They strip search him every time he returns which hopefully reminds him that "This ain't no joke."
He didn't kill anyone...one of the kids who was in court today did. My boy made a stupid mistake and is paying for it. I dropped him off at the gate tonight after work and he checked back into his cell. It hurt leaving him there but felt good knowing he was "manning up" to his mistake and learning a life lesson.
Raising kids isn't easy, I don't care who you are. If you think they are perfect you are in for a rude awakening. No one is perfect...some just get by with it for a little longer.
I have faith in my son. I have learned that a parent cannot be TOO paranoid. I have learned that sometimes it hurts to watch your child learn a lesson but is better than them never learning one. I have learned that they can't have shaving cream in jail that contains alcohol. What idiot that drank shaving cream for a buzz and ruined it for the rest of them is still a mystery to me but I am sure I will discover a lot of new things over the next thirty days.
Yes this is my life. It isn't perfect but it is real. What is even more real is that I will not only make it through this but both my son and I will be stronger. He is learning a life lesson and so am I.
No one is immune to failure. To think you are is worse than blocking someone from an FB account...it's blocking reality.
Til next time...COTTON
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