I Have to Keep THIS Face in My Mind...

So Massey gets ready to leave for school this morning and I ask her what time her guard practice is. She says 5:30 but she is going to stay at the school until then. I told her by the time she got home at 8:30 she would be starving. She said she would be okay and went to bounce out the door as the clunking bus rolled down the street to announce its arrival.

Before she left she said that most of the girls that stayed after school had their moms bring them something to eat before practice started. Great!

Lucky for me I was working the day shift so I told her I would drop something off on my way home.

My general manager was the MOD (manager on duty) and computing the labor cost in his head, cut down to two servers about 1:oo. He wanted to do it at 12:30 I am sure, but not liking to actually wait on tables himself... gave it another half hour before the labor "Axe" fell.

It was me and one other server, a girl that is as good a server as there is. We just had the weirdest customers, ones that run you to death for no reason or sit at your table like they are moving in.

In comes a nightmare table...in MY section. The woman is disgusting (trust me I am NOT being judgemental) she used to come in with her 'beau' who was old enough to be her Gran pa..they would suck down margaritas and steal the silverware when they left. Sometimes they would actually ask to be seated near the rest rooms because she was "feeling poorly" or as she said it "Pourly."

Well the ole gal has a new beau that looks like he could have been Charles Manson's room mate. He never once looked up at me. She ordered sweet tea and when I asked him what he would like he muttered "Yeah."

Of course I forced the issue and said sweetly (he didn't know I was being a wise guy) "Excuse me, I didn't quite hear your order."

I asked him what he wanted with his steak, how he wanted it cooked and what side dish he wanted ...to which he curtly replied "Damn, how many questions are ya gonna ask me?"

I felt like saying, "Well if you would happen to LOOK at the menu you may see these questions coming in advance." But I gave them a bright smile and just made the best of it.

When the woman asked for more bleu cheese dressing for her salad with a HUGE glob dripping down her chin I felt like saying "Just stick your tongue out and lick up those two ounces running down your face." Of course I didn't, of course I can't...but "Baby, did I WANT to!"

I got their food out as quickly as possible because I had 'real' customers on either side of their booth and in my current position I have to make the best of every table. I already knew this one was a wash so I concentrated on getting them fed and out the door.

I went to the back to check something out for a manager... when I came back, ole gal said she was sorry but she had just "Done throwed all up in my napkin, I couldn't make it to the rest room and can you just bring a check and a 'go' box?"

Yeah! Makes you wanna be a server "Don't it?"

Needless to say I wore gloves when I cleaned their table, threw away the dishes, napkins and plates.

Once gone, things picked up.

At least nobody else got sick and my other customers were nice enough not to point out that I had complete idiots at the table right next to them.

The insanity continued til 4;00 when I should have been off work , but was still stuck there with tables.

Massey sent me a text telling me that I had to have her dinner there soon.

I left in time to take her a meal from my restaurant to eat before practice started. I called her on her cell, which she answered in the band room...with horns, percussion and winds sounding like they were serenading me. I told her I was almost out of gas (what else is new) and she needed to meet me outside the building.

She was standing there waiting like a good girl, but before I had even pulled out of the parking lot she sent me a text asking if I could bring her back a pair of "Soffee" shorts for practice. I told her I would and she text'd back that she needed them in fifteen minutes.

I got home and searched her wreck of a room high and low for "Soffee" shorts and couldn't find them. She had asked for black ones but I could only find purple.

I called her back (five minutes to spare) and she said happily that "Dallas is going to loan me a pair."

Could she have not called me to tell me that?

After the day I had just had... "Soffee" shorts were the last straw.

Thank the Lord she was at practice and Thank the Lord I came across this picture of her when she demanded nothing more than a hot dog (no bun) for dinner and a glass of milk before bed.

Kids...they can kill you without trying and wonder what happened to you after they do.

I love my girl, love all my kids...I just can't wait til they ALL have three kids doing the same things to them that they are doing to me NOW!

And I thought the ole crazy woman was a challenge.