Ten Days Til Takeoff

TJ spent the weekend with us. Well he spent most of it with his brother and sister. I worked all weekend and was gone more than I was home. It was still nice spending time with him before I went to work and seeing him spending time with his brother and sister when I  came back home.

I know from experience how it is to be one of three sibs. When you're really little you all get along. Once the oldest hits middle school the younger two become idiots and a nuisance. When  the oldest gets their license they have their escape...just borrow the car to get away.

TJ graduated high school with great grades and began at Georgia State University. Unfortunately he also joined a Frat. His Big Brother got to select his Halloween costume that year.

Not a good idea.

Then he decided to take a semester off and work...Terrible idea.

He worked full time and made a little money but told him if he didn't get back in school that's exactly what he'd still be doing when he was my age...making a little money.

Then he met girl. Then they moved in together. Even a worse idea.

Then they bought a puppy together named Charlie,  who cost more than a used car. Horrible idea.

Then they broke up and TJ moved  back home with Charlie in tow. TJ won the nasty custody battle and Charlie became a Cotton.

I didn't want or need another dog but seriously, who could refuse THIS face? Before TJ moved back home we had rescued our Dog, Ham.

Let me tell you, an English Bulldog and an Old English Bulldog /Boxer mix aren't great friends right off the bat when they are both male and still have their nuts. They can DRIVE you nuts! We had many a dog fight. Ham was docile but Charlie was a brat who had been spoiled by his mama and daddy,  never been  around other dogs and certainly never learned the word 'share' or 'play nice.' Ham outweighed him by twenty pounds and towered over him but Charlie was "The Man" in his own tiny mind and got his butt whooped again and again and again and was always ready for more. We went through tube after tube of  antibiotic cream and bottles of hydrogen peroxide trying to heal Charlie's face . Tim gave him the nick name, Scarface.

Then TJ moved out again and ole Chucky stayed. At least he had a huge yard and another dog to play with.

We kinda nudged TJ out that last time. It was when we were in a desperate position and it was time for him to stand on his own.

He did it! He survived, he got a pretty good job which led to an even better job and most probably made more money than me.

Here's the thing. When sibs are together all the time they sometimes bicker and fight. Split them up and they become closer and closer and closer. The time they DO get to spend together seems important. The time they are away from each other just gives them more to talk about when they do meet up.

My three have come full circle.  They were close, then they weren't. Then two got close and the other was on the outside. Then it switched the other way.

Now TJ is leaving for the land down under in  ten days and all three are thick as thieves. They sit for hours talking. They watch  movies together,  they go out to eat  together,  they do nothing together.

They are simply being together and enjoying it.

That's the kind of thing that makes a momma proud. That's the kinda thing that makes working crazy  hours tolerable. That's the kind of thing that tells me  they were all listening to my constant lectures when they were young,  even though  they were all rolling their eyes like I didn't see them.

I may not have raised rocket scientists but I raised three good kids.  They all love each other and in today's society that's quite an accomplishment.

They are all  three smart and loving. They all three care about other and this earth. They all three have the ability to do amazing things.

My money is on my kids.  Granted I don't have any money, but if that was the price to pay for having  three amazing young adults all under my roof one last time and not only witness but feel the love between them all...I'd do it again in a heartbeat

We'll take care of Charlie while TJ does what what I wish I had done when single and in my twenties.

Go see the world.

College isn't for everyone but world is! He's smart and good looking. He has a great heart, works hard and has my blessings. I have full confidence in TJ.  Go Gettum Kid!!

One down two to go!!

Til next  time...COTTON

A Dog's Life

This is a pic of me when I still had my peepers. I've lived with the Cotton's since they rescued me from being chained to a tree. I moved in  with them and my Aunt Rosie...

It was swell, til the "Bully" moved in with us.

Charlie came to live with us when his Baby Daddy moved back home. Baby Daddy moved out but left Charlie. He just never got the pecking order memo. It was Rosie, me and THEN him.

We had a few dog fights and let me tell you, a fight between an English Bulldog and a Boxer / Old English Bulldog mix is not a pretty one. Charlie never won a fight, always started them and refused to ever give up. My family used to call him "Scar Face" because he was always seeming to heal from the wounds he insisted I inflict. He spent the first year of his life alone with baby Daddy and never learned how to play well with others. It took him about a year and a couple of tough butt whoopings but he finally learned. I am "Ham the Man." Rosie was never involved in one fight...at least we both knew who was the "Lady of the House."

Rosie was a sweet girl. Her hips started getting bad and after about a year momma decided we were just keeping her so we wouldn't miss her. She could barely walk, her legs splayed out from under her and had to be helped outside. A nice lady from Animal Control came over to our house and administered the lethal shot. Rosie went peacefully as Charlie and I were locked up in separate bedrooms. We both pawed and scratched, howled and whined. We may just be dogs but somehow knew what was happening. Zach and his buddy had dug her a grave at the back of the yard and she was gently lowered to her final resting place. Momma told me the day Rosie died, Zach  posted on his Facebook wall "RIP Crazy Legs."

A year went by. Charlie got his butt handed to him a few more times but we finally agreed...He's just a brat.

Then a friend of Momma's at work, who owns two Boxers had a litter of unplanned pups. They already had a six month old little girl, two Boxers and seven pups. The female pups sold quickly but the males went slower. Massey and Momma made a Craig's List ad to help her sell them but by week nine she said "Please take one" so we did. We let her pick out the pup and paid her twenty bucks for gas since she brought the pup to us from Paulding County. It's AKC registered and a beautiful black Boxer. It's also an idiot.

So now we have Ziggy too. We are three rescued pups and all happy as can be! My one eye started going bad around the time Rosie died. Over the past year my one eye went totally blind and the other seemed to be racing to catch  up.

All the while, my family had hit the skids. I don't know anything about money but  heard them talking about going from over six figures to welfare and didn't sound happy about it.

Then my Momma did a blog about me. It was an amazing response. People actually helped me. People actually cared about me. People actually saved my life.

A man my Momma has never met but who reads her blog sent us the money to go see a specialist about my eyes. They were really nice and even remembered my daddy who also suffered from juvenile cataracts and had implants from the very  same clinic.

Then I was dealt another blow. Momma took me straight from the specialist to have my shots all updated at a mobile Vet here in our county. They barely had enough money to feed us and certainly didn't have money  for shots or heart worm preventative. This mobile vet was low cost (extremely low cost) and simply gave me an exam and my shots in the parking lot beside our car. The only bad thing is, I tested positive for Heart Worms. You can't have eye surgery and be put to sleep when you have heart problems.

 Momma took me back  to our own Vet and they said it would be over $1,145.00 to do the quick kill. The next  week Momma took me back to my mobile Vet and he said he could do it for $500.00.

People...humans who have never met me sent us check after check. Some were tagged "Dog Food" Some were tagged "Gas Money" and some simply said "Get better buddy."

Thanks to you all I had three quick kill treatments from my Doc in a Box. The first one almost killed me, I didn't move and didn't eat. The next  one was about the same, and my Momma worried the Heart Worms had won. We had three weeks between  the second and third shot and I felt a  lot better. When I went for my third shot  the mobile Vet (shout out to Dr. Marseli)  said my prognosis was good because I am such a strong and muscular dog.

Momma still has money donated to get me back to the eye specialist once I test negative for Heart Worms in February. (Paws crossed)

It's crazy how people love me...although I have to say I am pretty  adorable!

I have had a great life here. I'm loved and loved and loved. My momma has been even luckier. People read about my plight and helped me when Momma simply couldn't.

I start my preventative  tomorrow and go back in a few short weeks to be retested. Once cleared I am headed back to the eye Doc.

Once again I am just a dog, but a very lucky one. Charlie and Ziggy even seem to know I've been sick. I have over seventy friends on something Momma calls Facebook. Ziggy and Charlie helped me write this . Momma just came in and kicked us off the computer...gotta go!

Thanks for loving me ! I want to lick every one of your faces.

Ham Cotton

Not a Fan of Winter...That's Why I Live in the South

I know it doesn't help  I am at least fifteen pounds under my fighting weight but neither does all this cold weather...and don't even get me started on the wind and the rain, and I live in the deep south! I don't know how they do it way up north. They must make clothes thicker there because when I get home from work at night am cold for at least thirty minutes after I get into the house. I usually don't take my coat off for at  least an hour. Granted my house is sealed about as tight as a colander but I have towels stuffed under every exterior door and scream at  the kids constantly, "Shut the door for Pete's sake" as they stand to talk to me with  the door wide open. I keep the heat on  68 degrees but have two small space heaters I keep  by  the front and back door to help with the wind that blows through the doors.

We bought our house brand new sixteen years ago but it was obviously built by either idiots or extremely drunk shoddy  workers. We  were just so excited to be be buying our first brand new home that we really overlooked a lot of flaws. As  the years went by we noticed more and more. I've used a lot of duct tape and fixed the  things I could but it's like we live in a wind tunnel in  the winter months and a hot house in  the summer. At least it's ours (or it will be in less than four years) so we just make do.

 My Diddy  bought our house on Bayard Street the year I was born for $15,000. It was sealed tight as a drum.  We never replaced a furnace, never needed air conditioning, every room had at least three big windows and a huge attic fan kept air flowing during the summer months. He never had to replace a stove or oven (they were separate in those days...at least at  our house) and the screened in back porch  had storm windows he put up every winter.  If you  put a space heater out there it was a comfortable place to be even in cold weather. He never had to replace our washer or dryer. He never had to replace our refrigerator or dishwasher.  We have had to replace or fix every  single one of these things in the sixteen years we have lived in our "Brand new house."

"They  just don't make things like they used to." I used to always wonder what they meant by  that but now I know  and ain't THAT the truth!

It rained from Christmas Day  til New Year's Day and I felt like the sun would never shine again. I hate to keep  griping but it's feeling good so I will continue.

How do People live in Seattle or Oregon? They must have a phenomenal suicide rate.  Wind I hate, it makes me skitter across  the parking lot on the way to my car  but can wear  a hat and scarf and carry a big rock  so I won't blow way. I dress in layers for the cold but the rain just depresses the crap out of me. It makes me feel like God is mad at  us for something.

I like it when the sun is beating down on me.  I already suffer  from hot flashes so it's nothing new to me to sweat. I like cutting grass and pulling weeds. I love my weed eater and he makes my yard look so nice and trim. I could ride my Johnny Dear all day long and often have.

Guess I'll  have to just struggle through a few more months of this cold weather. I wear a skirt with tights to work. I get home and keep on  the skirt and tights and put on my flannel PJ pants over them both once I finally take off my coat. I put on my bedroom shoes and get one of the pups to lay on my feet as I type away on my computer.

Hate is an ugly word so guess I will  say I highly dislike cold weather. I go to bed with my tights and flannels on and peel them off during the night as the hot flashes warm me up. I wake up and get into a hot shower,  thanks to our second hot water heater in  less than ten years. I head into work with my hat scarf and gloves on. I drink enough coffee  to keep me warm at work until a hot flash hits and then I switch  to water.

All I am saying is that winter is just not for me. I can enjoy one big  snow, it's pretty and seems to make the world  seem  so silent that it is a beautiful  thing to witness.

That  little groundhog better come out next  month and make me happy with his prediction because winter isn't a skinny old woman's friend.

If Tim could just find a job in Key  West...

Til next time...Cold COTTON

All Back in the Nest One Last Time

TJ came down  to spend the weekend with us today. He's leaving January 23 for Australia. He plans on  living there for at least a year.

Massey and he have gotten really close these past few years but thanks to all the technology and social networking they will be able to stay in touch.

He also had to come say goodbye to his boy, Charlie. TJ bought Charlie but for most of his life has lived with us. It took a while but he settled in here and it would break my heart  to give him up.

Zach was here today as well and it was nice to have all three kids and all three pups back home. We all sat together and talked. TJ gave Massey lots of advice on  college and Zach added his. Tim was off too so it was the whole family and a wonderful afternoon.

Last week at  my sister's house we were talking about all our kids and my sister brought out a little box with index cards where she had kept notes our Diddy had written to her and on some cards were notes she had made of things the kids had said over the years

I think one of my favorites is when Massey was just five or six. Santa had brought her  Doctor's kit and she had me on the sofa taking my vitals. I asked in a feigned tone, "Doctor, will I live?" She removed her little plastic stethoscope  from my chest and pronounced solemnly "Yes, you will live with your family." I laughed and she got furious with me. She probably over billed me for that check  up.

Then there was the time when I was driving my minivan with Zach  and Massey in it. Zach was about eight. We passed a private school and the kids were just getting out. Zach looked at  them  then back at me and asked "Do they get to wear the same costumes every  day?"

This one reminded my sister of the time when she was driving Zach somewhere, while around the same age. She said he pointed out the window to  the sky and calmly said " Hunh. Aunt Cin, look at that bird...I think that's  a Pterodactyl."

The ball  was rolling now.

One time when Cin took her boys with her on a trip when she was a flight attendant , they were in Puerto Rico . Her boys were in  grade school (as us ole farts still call it.) She commented "Look at that huge Rubber Tree." Her son Griff, shaking his head simply said "Mom...that's a REAL tree."

Then there was the time on vacation in  Florida. The boys, my two and Cin's two were tossing around a foot ball and one of the palm trees had some bird in it that kept making this noise. My  nephews, a couple of years older than TJ (they were all tweens) were wondering what it could be when TJ piped in "It's a duck, DUH!!"

Another favorite is when Zach was about six. It was Easter Sunday and we were heading to my sister's house for dinner. We passed a church with three huge crucifixes.  Sadly I didn't do a good job of taking the kids to church when  they were little but preferred to  home school them in religion by  cleaning house every Sunday morning before I left for work with "Jesus Christ Superstar" blaring throughout the house from my stereo CD player. (Side note...I know every word to the entire opera)

  Zach was in his car seat and asked about the crosses. I told him Jesus was hung on the middle cross and two robbers hung on each side.  I threw in a quick lesson  and added, They nailed him to the cross with nails through his hands and feet. He didn't miss a beat..."I thought they hung you  with a rope."

I continued my mobile Sunday School lesson and said "You know what was  the last thing Jesus said to all the people who did that to  him? He said I forgive you."

Zach  thought about that for about ten seconds and commented "I would have said, I will GET you."

I was  glad they were all in the back seat and couldn't see my face trying not to laugh. I told Zach. "Well that's why His name is Jesus and your name is Zach  Cotton and we'll  all be in church next  Sunday."

Raising kids is truly hard but leaves you  with so many good memories. They always overshadow the bad memories.

I had all three here this weekend and it was great.  I'm not the best Mom in  the world but they have all survived and so have Tim and I.

I have so many stories about my kids I could literally fill a book.  Maybe I will one day! But for now it simply fills my heart to have them all under one roof again.

I've had good times and I've had bad times. My kids will always be my good  times, even though some of them have been bad!

Kudos to TJ for going on this great adventure. It was nice to have them all back under our roof and them all getting along. I have great kids.  They have goofed up from time to time but what kid hasn't? I wouldn't want a kid that didn't goof up when they were young.

 If they don't that only means they are waiting til they are forty  to goof up and will be bringing grand-kids back home with them for you  to raise while they try to get a clue.

I took my lumps when I did and love them for hitting me early with them.

I have a good feeling about my kid's futures.  They are all three gonna make me proud.  Heck... They already have!

Til next  time...Contented COTTON

The Last is the Hardest, By Far

This teeny tiny girl, barely weighing four pounds came into my world on August nineteenth in the year 1995. She was due on  October fifth. The amazing thing is right from the jump I knew she was a miracle. I already had two sons. When I found out I was having a girl and her due date was my late momma's birthday I decided right then to name her after my momma. My momma's maiden name was Ann Massey so I picked Massey Ann for my girl's name. She surprised us all by coming WAY too early  when my placenta ruptured in the early morning hours of August. I was rushed to the hospital by  ambulance and delivered Massey in less  than ten minutes via an emergency C- section.

Her face was smaller than my hand and I'm no giant. She was  tiny but she was beautiful.

She didn't say a word for almost two years, but hasn't shut up since so I knew she was mine!

This is hands down my favorite pic of Massey.  The people at  the nursery school didn't think I would like it because she wasn't smiling but  this is PURE Massey! She's a head full of curly hair and a mind determined. She made it from a premature baby to blossom and grow beyond my wildest dreams.

She was a beauty and captured all of our hearts.

 She has a BFFL living right next door and they have grown up together.

She  hit middle school and found her stride. She became involved in  the crazy world of Color Guard and sucked me right into  it as  well.

She learned camaraderie and commitment. She learned what it is to dedicate yourself.  I learned how powerful  love and friendship are. We didn't have money  to pay our mortgage but by  the grace of friends,  Massey spent five seasons with the Guard.

Her Junior year she quit the Guard and focused on her studies. My oldest son sailed through high  school graduating with a 3.8 GPA. My youngest son was lucky to make it out but could rule the world if he applied himself. He's the smart one who refuses to accept his genius abilities but seems to be coming around.



Massey simply wants to conquer the world and I am behind her one hundred percent.

It hit me tonight like a ton of bricks. This little girl, this tiny baby I had almost eighteen years ago is  ready to flap her wings and I'm not ready to let her go.

I've be so concerned about my pup, Ham. I've been so concerned about our IRS debacle. I've been so concerned about bills and starting a new job that I failed to  realize in less than six months, Massey will be gone.

When I wasn't looking or thinking, my girl has grown up. She is hands down my best  friend. She is high maintenance but gives me so much joy that everything else falls  to  the way side.

Go Gettum Massey.  You have already made me so proud. Can't wait to see how far you  go!

The Cotton Compound

 

So far 2013 is looking pretty good as I peer out at it from behind the beauty which is my life. I can't remember the last time I had Christmas Eve and New Year's Day off. Actually it has been at least thirty some odd years. The holidays are behind us, everything paid for in cash and just feel that "Thirteen" will be our year!

I went to work today at three, got off around ten and don't have to be back til Friday morning. Then I have Friday night off too...it's like a belated Christmas present!

I made a list tonight of everything I have to do tomorrow and it's a long one. Ziggy helped with taking the tree down last night and stripping it of ornaments and lights. Zach's gonna burn the tree in the fire pit out back. Massey heads back to school tomorrow and first off I am heading to Great Clips to get all this gray hair cut out of my head. (Got my $7.99 coupon!)  Next stop BJ's for dog food (incredibly cheap for Iams) before my free membership expires. Cleaning bathrooms, cooking dinner again for my family who wonders who took over their mother's body this past week but aren't complaining.

It's been nice to have more than two days off in a month which is what my schedule has been from before Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve. It was of my own choosing but worked out pretty well for us.We didn't charge one thing for Christmas which is easy when you don't have credit cards.

Ziggy tore my arm up last night playing. He sliced my forearm open and with my "Old lady skin" left a gash two inches long.

I am just excited about another day off and only a day shift on Friday. Ziggy has all his shots so I just need to apply Neosporin  and clean it with Hydrogen peroxide.

Massey has always said thirteen was her lucky number. I'm gonna join her. 2013 will be our year.

My house is a crazy house... and I wouldn't have it any other way. We are a fly by the seat of your pants clan. We roll with the punches and come out swinging.

I waited on our bankruptcy lawyer tonight at work...which the IRS dismissed because of the debacle over the company that Tim got suckered into and no one stepped up to help with.

I told him we had gone from being seven months behind on our mortgage to eight weeks behind. He said to come see him and refile. "It will get the bastards off your back."

We have climbed out of the  valley and began the rise to the mountain top!

Life can be tough...but if you fight and persist, you can make it.

It hasn't been alone. It has been with the help of many. It felt lonely at times. It has been overwhelming at other times.

2013 is going to be a lucky one!

I think thirteen is my lucky number too !

Til next time...Cotton

Another Year Behind Us

I can remember when I was little and thought about the year 2000. It seemed a million miles away and now is thirteen years behind me. When I was a kid anyone who was thirty years old was middle aged. I am almost fifty three and find it hard to think of myself as middle aged...it freaks me out. Truth be told even if I am extremely lucky I am well beyond middle aged which freaks me out even more!

I'd call chapter one my childhood. It was a happy chapter. We had the greatest parents a kid could ever wish for  and every one, young and old loved being at our house. It was a great place to be, in Ann Leach's kitchen at 2545 Bayard Street.

Solid working middle class family with so much love we all felt rich beyond belief...and were.

Chapter two was a scary chapter. We lost our mother within the span of thirty seconds on a shopping trip. It was Momma, my sister and I who left for a day of shopping. We  came home without her and it changed all our lives. It's been thirty five years but I  can still see the scene in  the store, I can still remember the panic I felt. It was the first big lesson I learned in life...that it can be gone in an instant.

Chapter three: I met Tim,  we married and I immediately started shoving him down the path of life. We've got three great kids who are all so different I often wonder how they all started out from  the same place yet end up in such different places.  None of them look like or act like each other but the older they get the closer they become and it warms my heart. After all, variety is the spice of life!

Chapter four: For over twenty years it was full steam ahead, always moving up and advancing, economically. Here's the thing I have learned in chapter four. You need to go back and re read chapter one.

My parents didn't have a lot of money but were loved by every person who met them. I am in no way as good a person as either of my parents but have been loved so much in chapter four that it makes chapter five easy  to write.

Chapter five:

I have made it from the above...to this.

I have made it from this to this...Just us three kids left now but enough love to fill an ocean.

Even when times got really bad and my pup got sick, People, friends and even strangers helped me get to this point...

Helping Ham has been an amazing journey. This was us at  the vet specialist for his eyes.

Chapter six:
Love is a great blessing. We are still in our house, thanks to help from many. My kids are all healthy and happy and on the road to success. My pup, Ham is on the road to recovery and regaining his sight, thanks to many.

Chapter seven:  "Count your blessings, name them one by one and you will see what The Lord has done."

When upon life's billows 
You are tempest tossed 
When you are discouraged, 
Thinking all is lost 
Count your many blessings, 
Name them one by one 
And it will surprise you 
What the Lord has done. 

Chorus: 
Count your blessings, 
Name them one by one 
Count your blessings, 
See what God has done 
Count your blessings, 
Name them one by one 
Count your many blessings, 
See what God has done. 

Are you ever burdened 
With a load of care? 
Does the cross seem heavy 
You are called to bear? 
Count your many blessings, 
Ev'ry doubt will fly 
And you will be singing 

When you look at others 
With their lands and gold 
Think that Christ has promised 
You His wealth untold 
Count your many blessings, 
Money cannot buy 
Your reward in heaven, 
Nor your home on high. 

So, amid the conflict, 
Whether great or small 
Do not be discouraged, 
God is over all 
Count your many blessings, 
Angels will attend 
Help and comfort give you 
To your journey's end.

It's a New Year . These three kids above sitting on the side of this old station wagon are now all in their fifties. Both parents are gone but they are hanging as tight as they were in this photo.

Life is a journey.... a long one if you're lucky. There are going to be hills to climb, valleys to climb out of  and  mountains to conquer.

It never stops and you shouldn't either. Sometimes I am embarrassed by needing help but have helped others when I could. Sounds trivial but is under rated..."Love is all you need."

My husband loves me, my kids love me, my brother and sister love me. My friends and in laws love me and even strangers have loved me. It's a great feeling to be loved and one that should always be paid forward. You get what you  give...I don't remember giving as much as I have gotten but promise to give even more in "Thirteen."

These two people created us  three  sibs.

The three sibs  rocked it in the eighties.

It all began here at a wedding shower. She opened a present, married my Diddy and gave life to us three. My only regret is they are gone.

The rest was destined to happen. The definition of Destiny is  "The fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one's lot."

I've had a lot, I've endured a lot but have been blessed a lot. I'm calling it a win! By the way, Webster's also defines a win as "To achieve success in an effort or a venture."

So I am over middle aged...at  least I have made it this far. Hoping that in 2013 I can help others like they have helped me.

I am a blessed person and intend on paying it forward!

Til next  time...COTTON

Happy New Year!

Went into work at three this afternoon and the madness began. I was one of the first servers to leave tonight and it was well after eleven. Stopped by Kroger for some milk and OJ and was home by eleven forty five.

It was the smoothest NYE I have worked in a while and  have worked the past thirty three. By the end of the night my feet felt like they were walking on little pointed sticks.

My first table today was a mixed couple. He was a total ass and she was a bee-otch....that's a  horrible mix. First off he huffed and puffed because we didn't carry any European non alcoholic beers. Whatever.  It was already getting busy and he ordered a steak well done and his friendly (not) wife ordered salmon well done. We were already filling up and  the  man asked where their food was? I said "Well done takes a while." I took them their dinner and stood at  the table telling them to both check their food to see if it was cooked enough. They  both said it was fine and I went on waiting on more tables. I was at  the host stand when he came up to tell me his wife's fish wasn't cooked enough. She THOUGHT it was but it wasn't. Heck it was almost a fish stick when I took it to her the first time but  smiled and took it back. I thought to myself "So this is the way it's gonna be. Crap!"

Whenever I have a bad first  table it sets the mood and I feel jinxed. It took forever to make them happy and I thought to myself "If you  get so upset over such  trivial things, what are you  going to do when they tell you you have cancer or your house has been foreclosed on?" What's strange is he tipped decent, I guess he just likes bitching. What a sad way  to live.

All tables I had after that were great and I was happy to break the jinx. I was a selling demon. Appetizers, bottles of wine, cocktails and desserts. Cappuccinos, Espressos and always ended with "Who's ready to start over?"

I did good. I reached my goal. I got my cell phone bill paid, picked up some groceries  and have some left for Ham's eye fund.

I left the grocery store around eleven thirty and was tooling down Poplar Road doing the speed limit when a brand new Dodge Challenger passed me on a double line going at least seventy. Kinda pissed me off but then the car behind him passed me too and I thought, "I'm not driving slow!" Then I noticed the second car was a patrol car. Sucks for the Challenger!

I got home. Massey had a friend spending the night.  They had ordered a pizza and were both sacked out. Massey babysat all  day for a friend of ours and has always been an early bird. Zach was at his friends mother's house for a family party (I like it when Moms are there) and Tim had just gotten home from work sacked out because he works again in the morning. It was just me and the pups...my favorite thing when I come home from work worn out. I can bitch to them and they all three seem to understand. Charlie and Ziggy  lose interest in me quickly and go into their "Gay-osity" mode, that's when  I tend to call them Siegfried and Roy. Thank goodness I'm not a homophobe  because they make Gomer and Liberace look  straight.

Ham , as usual stayed by my side and we discussed what idiots they both were. The fireworks went off at midnight and even Charlie heard them. Ziggy was cocking his little head from side to side at every boom. Ham just stayed my me.

I am looking forward to starting a new year with new job possibilities, getting away from a grueling schedule and maybe changing the direction my tired feet are taking.


I've been fighting and ignoring a cold for over a week. Woke up this morning around nine and snuggled back in...  watching all  recorded episodes of Modern Family and Parenthood I have missed since after Thanksgiving. Modern Family is hilarious but Parenthood is hands down the best show I have ever seen.

It's the little things that make me happy. Watching a show I love albeit weeks later. Having people love my Ham. Having family that for some reason loves the crazy person I am.

It awesome to be loved. It's awesome to be home on New Year's Eve before the ball drops. It's awesome to think that 2013 may change my life for  the better.

Like the old woman I am, I am heading to bed with a my fave wasabi almonds and a glass of water with lime.

Is it sad I am excited about filing down my bunions and both corns are gone off my pinkie toes?

As Massey would say,  "That is JUST gross."

 I would respond back in her speak "Most Probs but my hooves sure feel better."

I have survived  another year...and that is a good thing.

Til next  time...COTTON

Here Comes 2013

I have almost made it through the insanity of another year during the holiday season in a restaurant. Tonight was no exception. Had a wonderful surprise visit though from a dear friend, Elizabeth and her son. I wish I had had more time to talk with her but it was flat out chaos for two hours. She was my late Diddy's girlfriend and is simply a delight to know and love.

Sometimes I wonder how I am still doing this after well over three decades of being a plate carrier? The dishes seem heavier and the walk to the tables longer.

I've been doing this for so long and crazy as it may sound am finally thinking about hanging up my tray...at least full time. I have a chance to try something new, something not so physically demanding and comes with a 401 K . Tim and I had a pretty nice 401 K  we drained when he was out of work for two years, but at least we had it. This job also offers insurance...another definite plus, not to mention  is a four day work week. I can still carry  plates for two days a week for a while and have one day off. I am more than a little nervous about it but at  this stage in my life have to explore my options.

I like waiting on tables but it  is extremely demanding (when you do a good job.) My legs ache constantly, I have carpal tunnel in my right hand (self diagnosed) and gross as it sounds to me and  am sure even more so to you, I have corns on my pinkie toes sometimes that hurt so bad the sheets on my bed make them excruciatingly painful.  Think how it feels when someone accidentally knocks into my tired ole tootsie! My back goes out about once a year and almost paralyzes me sometimes making it even hard to breathe. I get cricks in my neck and have  to walk around like Frankenstein for days. Add in the limp because of my bad knee and I look like Festus from Gunsmoke with an order pad and tray.

Most of the servers I work with are young kids who don't have a clue or college kids who think the job is a joke that will simply get them by until they graduate. I don't tell  them most of them will still be serving when they graduate. "It's the economy, stupid."

I've raised three kids with a server's salary and am grateful I have been able to do so. Now it's time to think about myself. If I continue to beat myself up physically, I'll never be able to dance at my kid's weddings. I'll be on a walker at best, in a wheel chair worst case or maybe just a basket case.

It's not like starting a 401 K at the age of almost 53 is gonna get us that condo in Jamaica but will help my  chances of getting a room with a view one day...or at least a room. I don't want my kids to have to take care of me. I don't want to be a burden to them...even though they have sometimes been a burden to me.

You know what? They may have caused me grief but have given me more pleasure than anything in life. Given the chance for a "Do-Over" I'd do it all again.

I may not have perfect kids but I am perfectly happy with the kids I have.

My decision to change jobs is simply to help save myself so I can enjoy whatever time I have left with my family, to be able to provide us with insurance and have some savings for the future.

I'm scared. I'm apprehensive. I feel like I am letting my current bosses down. But if a chance comes this late in life to better not only myself but my family, I'd be dumber than Jethro not to try. If it doesn't work out I can always be a double naught spy or a brain surgeon. Or a server again.

Hope everyone has a Happy New Year...us included.

I also want to thank every one who has helped us help my pup, Ham. He is the most awesome dog I have ever  owned or rescued. He is alive today because of other people. I wanted to help him but simply couldn't. Because of other dog lovers, he is still with us. Because of dog lovers he is (hopefully) heart worm free. Because of dog lovers he is headed to the specialist after the first of the year to get his sight back. Because of you all he is still wagging that nub of a tail and feeling stronger every day.

I almost feel like God blessed my family by knocking us to our knees. It has shown me how being a good person (I think I am) during good times comes back to help you  through the bad times.

It amazes me how many people just don't get. When times are good...pay it forward . When times are bad, accept help... be humble and grateful others love you. I am a firm believer in Karma...heck I am just a believer.

Live your life as a good person.  No one expects you to be perfect, no person is. Remember the Golden Rule and remember how to pay it forward.

I have so much to pay forward it should be a full time job but it can't. I have one child off to see  the world and couldn't be happier for him. I have two still at home and can't wait to see how far they will go.

I simply want to be around to witness their flight as well. People have loved our family and even loved our pups.

I am a lucky woman. I am a lucky person. I am a blessed person and hope everyone who has helped us reach  this point in our lives knows how grateful I am to have been shown love, support and encouragement.

It's what has gotten us through and will never be dismissed or forgotten. I have a good feeling about the year  2013.

I think thirteen is my new lucky number!

Much love and thanks to you all and hope to pay it forward in "Thirteen."

Til next time...COTTON

My Little Black Horse

Here's my pup, Ziggy sticking his head through the new gate his uncle Harvey built, complete with  a peep hole. We caught him slithering through it like a flattened out rat last week and had to cover it with chicken wire but he'll soon be too big to escape through it. That's okay, little Houdini has found a different way out of the yard every day. I think he has little trampolines in his paws because I have never seen such a little dog  jump the way he does. I can't wait for Ham to get his eyes fixed so they can be kangaroos together. Before Ham went blind he could jump over six feet with ease.

He's a devil in disguise but such a cute devil! Let's see what he's destroyed in his few short months here with us. He tore up a sofa cushion on a couch that luckily I got for free and when we came home it looked like our house had been raided by the DEA searching for drugs. Foam every where, Ham and Charlie sitting off to the side of the room with  faces that immediately said "WE didn't do it." Ziggy sat in the pile of foam pieces grinning happily swinging his head back and forth like Stevie Wonder seeming to say "Just LOOK at it... I did it all by myself!"

Same  thing when I came home and he had eaten an entire bag of Christmas ornaments. Ham and Charlie were both sitting solemnly off to the side as Ziggy  pranced around all the broken ornaments swinging his head like Ray Charles showing off his handiwork.

There have been three remote controls, two tubes of tooth paste and one tassel off the only nice pair of shoes Tim has. (had)

I'd say he's eaten at least half a dozen potatoes out of my potato bin, two loaves of bread...including the plastic bag they came in, but left the twist ties, and two plants in my living room leaving all  the dirt on the carpet. He's fond of gutter spouts in the back yard and even enjoyed one of Zach's razors carelessly left on the bathroom counter. I'm surprised he lived through that one.

He's tall and lanky and anything left on the kitchen counter is fair game to him.

We started leaving him closed in the spare bedroom upstairs when everyone was gone and that worked pretty well...for a few days. Christmas Eve we went to Tim's parent's and sequestered him once again. We got home three hours later. I went to let him out of jail and couldn't get the bedroom door open. When I did there was a four foot square of carpet and padding chewed up right by  the door Houdini tried to escape from. I looked down and was staring at the sub flooring. He looked up smiling and shot down the stairs to see his buddies, happy as a clam. The mess wasn't that big but the padding was missing so I assumed he had his fiber intake covered for the next year.

Christmas Day he  got a reprieve. Everyone came to our house and the little stinker's just so cute that he was loved to death.

Us women were all sitting around in the kitchen talking with my sons and nephews when Massey started counting how many vehicles they had all gone through.(and not in a good way) Between my two boys and my sister's two boys we counted seventeen cars, one being my own Passat and another being my sister's Honda. (Wrecked twice)

Kinda makes tooth paste, remote controls, cushions and even carpet seem extremely expendable. When I get mad at  my kids and finally blow up, they pout for a couple days. When I spank Ziggy with an empty paper towel roll, he scurries under the living room coffee table but ten minutes later is rubbing up against me like a cat still bobbing that head like a bobble headed doll with  that smiley face looking all happy. It just makes me feel good. It may sound crazy  and I know it is but what ever he does wrong he gives back to me with complete love and affection.

On Christmas my nephew (the family dog whisperer) taught Ziggy to shake. We've been trying since we got him in June and  finally  just accepted he was  "Rain Man/Dog" and destined for great  things in  the Canine Special Olympics. Casey  taught him to shake in less than five minutes.

It's like raising a kid all over again,  has been disastrous at most points but really gratifying at others.  Ham and Charlie like their new buddy and he certainly likes them. He was very sweet to Ham when he went through that horrible week after the first two heart worm kill shots. It's amazing how instinctive dogs are. Ziggy didn't jump on him but would lay beside him and cuddle up.

Speaking of Ham, he finished his heart worm quick kill yesterday.  Zach went with me. Ham may be sick but still strong as an ox.  Once again we waited in the waiting room.  (the parking lot)

I can't say enough good things about this vet who saved my dog's life. I was waiting in the parking lot for our turn while Zach kept Ham in the car. I was talking with a man who was a paramedic in our county, waiting to get his dog's free Rabies shot  and he remarked how great it was to have low cost care for the animals we love the most. He pointed to mobile clinic, humming away on it's generator and remarked, "The guy's smart, he loves animals but look at his overhead."

Dr. Marseli came out of his "Office" and saw me sitting on the curb. He cocked his head and asked me with his 'thumbs up' if Ham was still okay? I gave him a thumbs up back and had Zach bring Ham out of the car. He said the last shot wasn't as devastating and stuck a short needle into Ham's hip. He said my boy looked good and gave us preventative to start Ham on in two weeks. He told us to bring him back in twelve weeks and have him retested for heart worms. After that we have the go ahead for eye surgery.  Ham started to feel bad about  halfway home. (a ten minute drive)

The paramedic I was talking to in the "Waiting Room" had gone through the same thing with his coon dog and said it was much like chemotherapy for dogs. "It's poison and  hurts like hell but  beats losing your buddy."

Christmas is over, it was great. Ziggy is a mess but coming around. Ham is halfway there. My oldest son leaves  for Australia in a few weeks to live the adventure of a lifetime. My youngest son is on the straight and narrow. My daughter is full guns ahead for a college degree  and destined for amazing things.

The  giraffe she gave me for Christmas amazes me every time I look at  it. The detail is incredible.

After everything is said and done...I couldn't have a more perfect life. Looking forward to  the New Year and new opportunities.

My life is a jumble of love, kids, dogs and troubles.  In the correct order, I am one lucky woman.

Til next  time...COTTON

Once Again...I Am Lucky

This is my family. This was my life. Why momma and her friend brought pocket books to the lake beach still makes me wonder but momma never learned to swim and never got in over her ankles so I guess she needed her purse more than a raft.

I had the greatest parents a kid could ever hope for. They were married to each other and there was no other option to them, they took their vows seriously and were still in love with each other the day my momma died. Our house was like a magnet...it drew everyone there. The egg man who came once a week, Frank Reeves. His son is now well known on the gardening channel, Walter Reeves.. The man who owned the Gulf station (Herman Jeans)  Carlton Pierce, my Diddy's friend from  high school and the Navy. Peg, the  guy who used to come by our house and sell us fruits and vegetables off his truck. They called him Peg because he had one leg  and the other was a wooden peg.

Adults, friends of ours and even strangers felt (and were) welcome in our house. It was a house full of  love. My friends loved coming to our house. There was always something cooking or something going on. I was  the luckiest girl on earth.

To be honest what ever has happened in my life or how much people have helped me goes right back to my roots. They survived raising us three kids and didn't have a lot of money but had more love than any person could imagine or ever want. Love is all you need...the more you give the more you get.

This picture of my parents is dear to me. Diddy looks tired but still in love. I have all the trivets on the wall behind momma and they hang on my own kitchen wall.

I had the best parents. How can I not make them proud? I have faltered and we have stumbled but just like the people who loved my parents and flooded to our house day after day for a glimpse of the happy life ...I want to have a home like that.

 With all the blessings I have been miraculously given, with all the support I have been shown, I feel guilty for having a sweet sigh of relief.

But my Momma didn't raise a fool. If it takes the rest of my life as it well should, I will pay it forward. I will never judge but leave that to The Big Guy. I will help another or step in to stop an injustice. I will be thankful every  day for the ones who not only love me but have helped my family and pups.

In my middle age I needed help and found an outpouring of love. From my family, from my friends and even strangers who I now consider friends.

You get what you give. I was given an extraordinary childhood. I was given a great husband and three wonderful kids. I have three pups who are like my own kids and we have all been shown love beyond belief.

I have much to pay forward and look forward to it!

Love your God, family and neighbor. Love others and love yourself. I truly believe "Love" is what this world is missing and needs the most. I have been blessed . Wouldn't you like to feel the same?

Til next time...an extremely grateful COTTON

It Was a Good One

It just wouldn't be Christmas without my brother bothering one of the boys. This is an old photo...that's Massey on the right talking to my Diddy in the background. She was probably five. That's my nephew Griff enjoying a hug from his uncle.

I think this is the first year one of the boys... TJ, Casey, Griffin or Zach haven't been pinned down or wrestled to the ground by their uncle Chris. We have at least twenty photos of the boys all in various holds or contorted states. Chris must be slipping...the only one he pinned down this year was Ziggy. Then again, Ziggy was due.

Somehow it all came together. All those days working non stop from Thanksgiving to Christmas paid off. I got every thing bought and paid for with cash and even managed to get Christmas Eve off.

The family all came over to our house Christmas Day and I threw together dinner. Chris got there first and threw together some Bloody Mary's and the party began. My kids were all happy with what they got, I was thrilled with my bounty and blessed beyond belief. Family, friends , fun  and love!

The above is one of my favorite presents. Massey made it for me in her pottery  class. I got  lots of nice clothes and a great pea coat. I got shoes and other presents but the best present of all was laughter, food and cheer with my whole family and  didn't have to leave it all early to run to work or leave the house at all.

Ham was treated like  a King. He was petted and loved on and secretly fed chunks of ham and mac and cheese. Charlie was just happy his daddy TJ was there.  Ziggy was just happy...he always is whether he is bad or good, the boy is just always happy.

My nephew actually managed to teach  Ziggy to sit and shake. You would have thought he had taught Ziggy how to decipher secret codes from the Taliban I was so happy! Here I was resigned to the fact we were destined for signing him up for the K9 special Olympics and hoping he could win a bronze medal for "Cutest Circle of Dooky on a Floor" and now he was actually doing a REAL trick and even one I don't have to pick up with toilet paper!

We had a sugar glazed ham, home made mac & cheese, baked beans with bacon, asparagus casserole and potato salad. We had toll house chocolate chip cookies and rice krispie treats. We had fun looking up funny things on the Internet, YouTube and looking at old pictures and videos. We simply had fun...and a wonderful Christmas time!

I crashed on the sofa after all were gone and dishes were washed. Ate my  fave, a frozen pizza and watched Indiana Jones, the Temple of Doom and Office Space. I fell asleep on  the sofa to the sound of  Zach and TJ talking downstairs in the dining room together just being brothers. It was wonderful  to hear and lulled me into a deep sleep.

I woke up this morning still on  the couch and thought about how much I could get up and do. Then I rolled over and  covered up. I stayed on the couch til it was time to get ready for work at three. It was an awesome day. I watched movies and the news. I watched GH and ate some some lunch Massey brought me.

I went into work and came back home. Now I am off again til Friday morning...ain't life grand? Taking my Ham for his last heart worm shot tomorrow and doing the family thing again til Friday morning. I didn't realize how much I needed the rest til I took it...and it felt marvelous!

We've  come full circle and that is a great gift. It wasn't easy and certainly didn't do it alone but have done it none the less.

Come on 2013...Let's see whatcha got!

Til next  time...a much rested COTTON

Wrapping Up The Night

It's finished. I'm not leaving this house til I have to go to work on Wednesday afternoon. I've been more around the world today than Santa. Massey and I left the house around eleven in the morning Christmas Eve and got home around five. We went to  the Sock Shoppe in Griffin after meeting friends for lunch a few blocks up. We back tracked by Lowe's , Dollar General, BJ's and Kroger. Got home in time to unload and reload for a trip to my in-laws at six. Had to stop by  Flash Foods for the last gift. Nothing says Merry Christmas more than a gift from  the gas station!

It was a really great visit with Tim's parents and they seemed thrilled we came. I haven't been off on Christmas Eve in quite a few years and it was nice to go. They still live in a huge seven bedroom house for some reason...guess to remind them of the pain of raising six boys and two girls. Massey and I wandered into the library and hunted for books. Found an old Bronte novel and two more Massey  wanted to read. The room most probably has five hundred books in it. Filled with everything from Readers Digest condensed books to an original Marvel comics Star Wars edition magazine. Their kitchen is huge, has a  dining table and a booth off to the side to seat four more. Massey and I sat at  the booth and my oldest TJ joined us to eat.

Much to my surprise Paw Paw joined us at the booth with his plate and sat down. He usually eats at  the big table. It was delightful to have him all to ourselves. TJ talked about his upcoming move to Australia, Massey  talked about college and Tim,  from the table behind us  said "Dad, Kelly has an offer for a new job." We talked about it all. How smart TJ was to live life large, how proud we were of Massey and how I couldn't turn down this offer to try something new. Tim's dad is a quiet man but opened  up tonight.  I think this was my favorite  Christmas with them and  have been with Tim since 1988. He agreed that  if I didn't try I would never know and  thought I was cut out for the job.

When we left to go to the in-laws we sequestered Ziggy into the spare bedroom (nothing but a bed and a table with nothing on it) and shut the door.

We got home and Ham and Charlie were both laying in the dining room. I went upstairs to let Ziggy out. You would have thought I was there to release him from a Turkish prison. I couldn't even open the door because he chewed the carpet up, the foam padding up and was currently working on the sub flooring.

He flew out of the room bobbing his head with the happiest smiling  face I have ever seen on a totally destructive dog.

Here's my thing. Number one...Yep we gotta get him a crate. But it's Christmas and have raised three kids in this house. My kids have broken chandelier panes off the dining room  light with  boxing gloves. They have punched holes in closet doors during wrestling matches. They have broken three of my windows with golf balls and footballs. They have torn off my railing on the upstairs steps during another throw down with neighbor kids. They have wrecked their own cars and totaled one of  mine.

You had them.You own them, you gotta love them.

We are big balling this Christmas. Paid cash for everything, only have one check to cover and I work on Wednesday.

It's been a tough three years. It's also been an awesome three years.  That may sound crazy but in the past three years I have learned about Karma...to old farts like me...It's the Golden Rule.

I am almost embarrassed by how lucky I am but can tell anyone reading this blog..."It's true in my book, what comes around goes around."

If the world could only learn  the Golden Rule...it would be a better place.

Merry Christmas!!

Til next time...COTTON