Here Comes 2013

I have almost made it through the insanity of another year during the holiday season in a restaurant. Tonight was no exception. Had a wonderful surprise visit though from a dear friend, Elizabeth and her son. I wish I had had more time to talk with her but it was flat out chaos for two hours. She was my late Diddy's girlfriend and is simply a delight to know and love.

Sometimes I wonder how I am still doing this after well over three decades of being a plate carrier? The dishes seem heavier and the walk to the tables longer.

I've been doing this for so long and crazy as it may sound am finally thinking about hanging up my tray...at least full time. I have a chance to try something new, something not so physically demanding and comes with a 401 K . Tim and I had a pretty nice 401 K  we drained when he was out of work for two years, but at least we had it. This job also offers insurance...another definite plus, not to mention  is a four day work week. I can still carry  plates for two days a week for a while and have one day off. I am more than a little nervous about it but at  this stage in my life have to explore my options.

I like waiting on tables but it  is extremely demanding (when you do a good job.) My legs ache constantly, I have carpal tunnel in my right hand (self diagnosed) and gross as it sounds to me and  am sure even more so to you, I have corns on my pinkie toes sometimes that hurt so bad the sheets on my bed make them excruciatingly painful.  Think how it feels when someone accidentally knocks into my tired ole tootsie! My back goes out about once a year and almost paralyzes me sometimes making it even hard to breathe. I get cricks in my neck and have  to walk around like Frankenstein for days. Add in the limp because of my bad knee and I look like Festus from Gunsmoke with an order pad and tray.

Most of the servers I work with are young kids who don't have a clue or college kids who think the job is a joke that will simply get them by until they graduate. I don't tell  them most of them will still be serving when they graduate. "It's the economy, stupid."

I've raised three kids with a server's salary and am grateful I have been able to do so. Now it's time to think about myself. If I continue to beat myself up physically, I'll never be able to dance at my kid's weddings. I'll be on a walker at best, in a wheel chair worst case or maybe just a basket case.

It's not like starting a 401 K at the age of almost 53 is gonna get us that condo in Jamaica but will help my  chances of getting a room with a view one day...or at least a room. I don't want my kids to have to take care of me. I don't want to be a burden to them...even though they have sometimes been a burden to me.

You know what? They may have caused me grief but have given me more pleasure than anything in life. Given the chance for a "Do-Over" I'd do it all again.

I may not have perfect kids but I am perfectly happy with the kids I have.

My decision to change jobs is simply to help save myself so I can enjoy whatever time I have left with my family, to be able to provide us with insurance and have some savings for the future.

I'm scared. I'm apprehensive. I feel like I am letting my current bosses down. But if a chance comes this late in life to better not only myself but my family, I'd be dumber than Jethro not to try. If it doesn't work out I can always be a double naught spy or a brain surgeon. Or a server again.

Hope everyone has a Happy New Year...us included.

I also want to thank every one who has helped us help my pup, Ham. He is the most awesome dog I have ever  owned or rescued. He is alive today because of other people. I wanted to help him but simply couldn't. Because of other dog lovers, he is still with us. Because of dog lovers he is (hopefully) heart worm free. Because of dog lovers he is headed to the specialist after the first of the year to get his sight back. Because of you all he is still wagging that nub of a tail and feeling stronger every day.

I almost feel like God blessed my family by knocking us to our knees. It has shown me how being a good person (I think I am) during good times comes back to help you  through the bad times.

It amazes me how many people just don't get. When times are good...pay it forward . When times are bad, accept help... be humble and grateful others love you. I am a firm believer in Karma...heck I am just a believer.

Live your life as a good person.  No one expects you to be perfect, no person is. Remember the Golden Rule and remember how to pay it forward.

I have so much to pay forward it should be a full time job but it can't. I have one child off to see  the world and couldn't be happier for him. I have two still at home and can't wait to see how far they will go.

I simply want to be around to witness their flight as well. People have loved our family and even loved our pups.

I am a lucky woman. I am a lucky person. I am a blessed person and hope everyone who has helped us reach  this point in our lives knows how grateful I am to have been shown love, support and encouragement.

It's what has gotten us through and will never be dismissed or forgotten. I have a good feeling about the year  2013.

I think thirteen is my new lucky number!

Much love and thanks to you all and hope to pay it forward in "Thirteen."

Til next time...COTTON