A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep.
My dear friend, Ruth fought the good fight but lost the battle on Thursday. She was ninety one years young. Until three months ago she was doing great. She fell in her house one day and simply never recovered fully. They discovered cancer when she was admitted to the hospital for her injuries. She was moved to a hospice and given one month to live. She got a bit stronger and was able to move into the assisted living facility with her dear husband. Although they were in separate rooms at least they were in the same place and her husband could walk over and visit her. The doctors then said she could possibly live at least another year.
Massey and I would go visit and take them food from the restaurant...they were very loyal customers until a few short months ago. They were fascinating to talk to and delightful to know.
I was going to visit them on Thursday but Ham's procedure side tracked that. I planned on doing it another day but now she's gone. I've said it before...Life is but this very instant.
Does it sound bad I am relieved she has gone on to her reward ? I'm glad she didn't suffer for years with cancer with her husband having to witness a slow and painful demise. She had over ninety one great years and twelve bad weeks...I'd call that a win.
I had a couple of hours between my shifts today so I went and visited her husband. I knocked on the door of his apartment and as usual he yelled "Come in." He isn't very mobile and suffers from Macular Degeneration and legally blind. He's still got a sharp mind, but his wife was his eyesight and now both are gone.
He was slumped in a chair watching (listening) to the television blaring away. Just like a man, he never muted or turned it down so we sat and hollered at each other for a few minutes. I told him how sorry I was but that she was in a great place now and free from pain and illness. He shook his head slowly in agreement but just looked lost...and I am sure that's exactly the way he feels. Lost...
"It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."
On a different note, when I came by the house after visiting my friend to check on Ham,my oldest son came over for a visit. He is twenty six.
Massey adores him. Zach used to but they drifted apart once Zach started drifting. Now all three of my kids are one close bunch again and it melts my heart. He came down and took Massey and Zach both to see "The Life of Pi."
We were all in the kitchen talking and TJ simply said out of the blue "I came to tell you first I am moving." I asked where to and he said "Australia...in seven weeks. I already have my passport and visa." After I picked my jaw up off the kitchen floor, I thought to myself...You know what? I wish I had done something like that when I was his age! He is unattached, smart, good looking and there's a huge world out there waiting to be explored.
People in their nineties sometimes , more often than not die. Kids grow up fast and if smart enough, expand their horizons and see just how far they can go.
I am grateful to have just made it this far.
I have three amazing kids, all amazing in three totally different ways.
I have three dogs left to raise because number one I love them and number two they love me. I'd be lost without them. My kid's are all flapping wings and leaving the nest. Some learned to fly quickly, some needed more help. That's what a Momma's for.
Ham is feeling so much better...it is actually amazing. Charlie and Ziggy seem to know he feels puny and have both left him alone.
The one who has not been left alone is me. I have survived the past three years with the help of so many people. Family, friends (new and old) and even strangers.
I have learned lessons in humility and learned lessons in Karma. I have learned lessons of life. I have learned more over the past few years than I have being on this earth for over half a century.
Here are just a few of the things I've learned along this journey.
You get what you give.
You reap what you sow.
Ask and you will receive.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Another lesson I have learned:
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann c.1920
I am a lucky person. I am a lucky wife and a lucky mother.
- "When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
- Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by. - When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings—money cannot buy ..wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high. - So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end. - I have all three of my kids home tonight. I have a pup on the road to recovery.
It's been a long road but one I had to travel.
I am blessed beyond belief and so is my family.
My comfort zone is my blog. I simply put it out here and over 55,000 people have viewed it. Love me or hate me...
I'll still love you!
Til next time...COTTON
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