Money Can't Buy You Love

It's been an excellent weekend. I've have all three of my kids here for the first time in over a year.

I'm really not sure where the time has gone...seems like just last week they looked like this.

We all sat around together last night talking and laughing after work and it warmed my heart to see them all together again.

We're packed in like sardines and overflowing to couches to sleep but just feels nice to be a whole family again.

Massey and I spent the day together before work,  running errands and picking her up a few things for school. It's nice to have an eighteen year old daughter who still wants to hang around momma. She's turned out to be a really terrific young lady. Yes she has her faults, who doesn't? All my kids have their faults as do I but have many more great qualities that make the faults easy to over look.

Massey and I went by one of my favorite stores, Yankee Candle to get some more tarts for my burners. We walked in and one of the sales ladies asked me what kind of scent I was interested in? I said "One that doesn't smell like three dogs." The lady behind the counter started laughing. (If she only knew)

You'd think if I had three dogs they'd be miniature Yorkies or Poodles. Nope! I have two boxers and a bulldog totaling over two hundred pounds of slobber . I love the brats and the brats love me. Tim will even call me momma when he's talking to them. I'll get home from work and Tim will say "Your momma's home, boys!" They all surround me and sniff the food from the restaurant and lick my shoes. They follow me up the steps and they follow me down the steps. They follow me into to bathroom and they follow me into the kitchen. It's nice to have three kids (pups) who never have homework due or want something I can't afford. Give them a couple of bowls of water and a bowl of food every day and they are happy as clams. And by the way, why are clams supposed to be so happy? Go figure.

It's been a tough few years here at the Cotton Compound financially and one thing I've learned is money can't buy you love but love can buy you happiness.

We are SO The Clampetts. We're simple and hard scrabble. We didn't find black gold or Texas tea. We didn't get to move into a mansion but live in a house we own. We have family and friends who love us and are blessed far and beyond belief.

This is why I have been able to hold on. As bad as things have gotten, I wouldn't change it . It's made me a better person. It's made me realize who my friends are. It's made me realize how lucky I am to come from such a great family. It's made me appreciate being loved.

It's all about Karma. You get what you give. You get out of life what you put in. Roll with the punches, laugh when you can (always) and strive to be your best.

Hug your loved ones and even hug the unloved ones. One hug can sometimes make a huge difference.

I have one more day with all my kiddos all together. I'm going to bed feeling old, tired, broke but happy.

"Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits." (Thomas Jefferson)

Til next time...COTTON

I Really Got Lucky In The Sibs Department

 My sister will kill me when she sees this pic of her but at least it is from far away. Anyone who knows her knows what a true beauty she is, inside AND out. She came over last week with her hubs and fixed a leak in our master bath shower that had been leaking for years and caused a huge wet spot on the ceiling in our kitchen. Then my sis repainted the entire ceiling after the leak was fixed and ceiling patched. She painted all the baseboards, trim and even the doors.

 Today she came over after Zach took everything off the walls and the top of the cabinets and painted my entire kitchen for me. The wall paper was okay when we moved in almost eighteen years ago but is too busy looking and made my already tiny kitchen look even smaller.

This is the way it looked this afternoon when I left for work. Everything was piled on the kitchen table and the tiny room was a wreck in preparation for painting. My sister retired from Delta a few years back and has taken up painting. She does interior and exterior. She strips wallpaper and refinishes cabinets. The woman is amazing...and doesn't even tape or use a drop cloth! My three pups were thrilled to see their Aunt Cin. We kept Ziggy and Charlie out back while she painted but they could see her through the glass back door and rarely moved from it. We let ole Ham stay inside. Blind as a bat and moves so cautiously it breaks your heart.He meandered into the kitchen once to sniff out Cindy but after running head on into her ladder decided he'd just lay in the dining room. Cindy (a pup lover like us) moved her ladder and worked on the other side of the room first so he could meander back in to visit. I know my OCD sister. She spent more time cleaning than painting. The top of my drop down cabinets are clean enough to eat off of. Maybe I should get a couple of monkeys too, they could just live and scamper around  up there!

My sister is the most fantastic giving person I have ever met, except that I have an equally fantastic brother as well. He's currently helping us on the Massey end of things with college and delighted to say she isn't letting us down either, making good grades and even got a job on campus to help pay expenses.

Last week I got so bummed out. Things weren't looking good around here, Tim still hasn't found a steady job but is working part time five days a week. We were a bit short (understatement) on the house note and all the snow and ice didn't help. My boss floated me a loan (I call them the Drysdales) and even with tipping gods smiling on me came up a little short. My sis loaned me a bit and we made it! Today when she came over to paint I had the money to pay her back thanks to a great Valentine's shift It made me feel a little better about her completely re doing my kitchen.

I went into work at four and got my tiny booty thoroughly beat. Balls to the walls busy. I was already overwhelmed when Barb asked me to pick up two tables in the bar area. What am I gonna say, she helped us make our house note? It took me over an hour and having to ask for help from other servers before regaining any sense of composure or time. I left work after giving the Drysdale's a hefty payment on my loan and still came home with enough money to pay the garbage company who refused to pick up our refuse last week for non payment (I just took it all to work and threw it in the dumpster) and even have enough left to put gas in the cars to eek us through another week. How sad am I ? Pretty sad...until I walked in the garage door of my house and saw my new kitchen when I got home from work.

I'm not sure why I am this lucky but not even going to question it, just LOVE IT! The wall paper was gone, a soothing blue had taken it's place and the kitchen looked huge! Not only had she painted the entire room, she cleaned up all the mess on the kitchen table and had the room put back together for me so when I walked in had the full effect of a fabulous new kitchen.

So this is my brand new kitchen, with my new used refrigerator our neighbors gave us. I was blown away! It looks so clean and open.

She's not through yet! She wants to paint our kitchen table (she gave us years ago) black and the chairs in an accent color, maybe red or green.

So once again, here's the deal. I'm one lucky woman. I'm one lucky wife. I'm a lucky mom. I'm a lucky sister. I'm the luckiest broke as a joke person you'd ever want to meet or be. Millions and millions around this planet would and have died to be as lucky as us.

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple"  (Dr. Seuss)

Can't wait to get home from my day shift on Sunday and play in my new kitchen!

Til next time...COTTON

Sometimes Serving is Spectacular (except for the corns on my pinkie toes)

At this point in my life and career (yes, serving IS a career)  have learned to never expect but always appreciate. I've had shifts when  I've gone in and couldn't catch a break if I had a wash tub in my arms. Other shifts peeps just simply seem to love me. It's just like any other commission based sales job. I consider myself a sales and marketing person. It didn't help we were closed two days this week because of weather and was kinda starting to freak out. Tim's still looking for steady work and we're starting to slip behind. Not major behind but sure don't want that again. I'm a worrier by nature. I prefer to consider myself a constantly concerned woman who obviously enjoys wrinkles and gray hair.

I went into work today after barking out marching orders to all the Lost Boys before leaving the house. Some men need direction. (whether they know it or not)

I was kinda worried because Super Bowl weekend is death for a restaurant unless it's a Hooters or sports bar and sure don't have hooters, I barely have Itty Bittys.

I clocked in at three thirty and had the floor to myself. The other servers were working double shifts and going on break. In less than ten minutes I had four tables and it just kept going. The hostesses are all high school girls and worry about over loading me. I told them not to worry I'd let them know when to stop seating me.I had people who loved having a funny waitress! I had time to get one order into the kitchen and take out salads before the next table sat down

I kept worrying (as usual) that my luck would run out. Sometimes you start out like gang busters and  end up limping home with peanuts.

The tipping gods smiled on me all night long and every single table I had was awesome. The people were wonderful, easy to please and all seemed pleased with me.

I really don't know if I am geared for anything but waiting tables and writing a blog. I enjoy both and both make me feel very satisfied with myself.

I logged onto my blog tonight when I got home and saw I was eleven hits away from  90,000 views. I'm not making any money off  it but feels fabulous to know other peeps are interested in what I write.

Once we get past this latest stumbling block I am going to start in earnest to try and get my blog promoted or find someone who may want me to write a column. Tim's always said I have my PHD in BS, maybe it's time to put it to use other than entertaining diners.

I'm all excited about Sunday. I'll open the brunch shift then be cut early because he has later peeps coming in to work until he closes at four. I can make a buck, swing by the store and come home to make potato skins, nachos and hot wings. I'm not a football fan but like eating potato skins, nachos and hot wings.

If I can keep this lucky streak at work going, we'll be caught up by next week and can breathe a sigh of relief.

If it doesn't happen, I'll just keep on keeping on. One thing I have learned over the past five years is that slow and steady wins the race. Another great thing I have learned is prayer is a powerful tool.  A really important thing I have learned is that my husband is the most tolerant person on the face of the earth and feel blessed he hasn't killed me in my sleep. (totally kidding, kinda)

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I say what I feel and don't mind if it bothers others. If it does, just don't read my blog.

This world is in desperate need of  more people who care and less people who complain and do nothing.

I'm almost fifty four, not doing too well financially but  still manage to laugh every day. Sometimes I do get depressed but then think about millions and millions of others who haven't been lucky like us.

I have a network of family, friends, customers and employers who care about us and  never hesitated when we needed help. I have three kids who are happy and healthy. I have three dogs who have been taken care of by people who are pup lovers like me. I wake up every morning with the ability to go at it for another day.

In the grand scheme of life, I am so lucky it often makes me wonder why?

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace."

People have never looked down on us because we have so little, but have helped us because they have a little more.

I like to be funny but I also like to be real. I read a quote from Conan O'Brien tonight on a friend's FB wall which made perfect sense to me:

"Work hard, be kind to others and amazing things will happen."

Life has been amazing for us. Not always the way we wanted but has always happened.

Count your blessings, name them one by one and you'll be amazed what The Lord has done!

Waking up tomorrow, doing it again and if that don't work will wake up the next day and give it another shot!

Never give up, never give in.

Til next time COTTON

Finally Thawing Out

After the debacle of a snow storm in Atlanta and being closed in the house for three days it finally began to thaw today. Actually it began to thaw yesterday around noon and that's when our kitchen began to flood. It was an inch deep with water in the kitchen and garage before we noticed. Everyone was upstairs except one of the "Lost Boys" living with us temporarily. He came in through the garage and shouted "Whoa, you gotta leak somewhere!"

We had the kitchen faucet dripping just like we were supposed to and a space heater on in the kitchen to try and warm the ground floor room with three exposed walls. I checked under the sink first...no leak. I checked the dishwasher next. Sometimes if you don't push the racks in all the way and try to start it, water leaks onto the floor. Not the dishwasher. I could hear water running from behind the refrigerator. Not a good sign. Tim came downstairs and pulled the fridge away from the wall. We cut the water off under the sink but the sound of running water continued.  By this point we deduced the pipe running to the refrigerator was busted. I couldn't really understand that since we don't have an ice maker. We had one with our last refrigerator though and like the detectives we are deduced once again the pipe had busted that used to go to our old ice maker.

We headed to the street to cut the water off there and thankfully the sound of water running stopped. I told Tim to go get towels since we don't own a squeegee and he came back down with an armload. Before I noticed, he was throwing down all the clean towels from the linen closet. For Pete's sake! I was nice about it though and said "Why don't you get all the ones out of the dirty laundry first."

Tim called his brother who does handy man work and he agreed to come down and take a look. Lucky for us it was $25 part. He put a cut off valve on the ice maker line and told Zach to go to Home Depot and buy some spray on foam insulation then patch the hole with a piece of plywood. Thirty minutes later we had water again..."Huge WHEW!!" Unless we ever want to hook up an ice maker, we're good to go. I'm okay with cracking ice trays and sometimes even bring a big bag of ice home from the restaurant. Ice maker is way down my list of priorities right now...being able to flush a toilet, take a shower, wash clothes or dishes and brush my teeth are pretty much on top of the list.

Work called as we were cleaning up the mess. I was off but they had two servers who couldn't make it in so told them I'd come in. It wasn't overly busy at work but walked out with a hundred bucks in my pocket and headed back home to a house with toilets that flushed.

I feel like we dodged a bullet...we're getting pretty good at that lately, just need to perfect our dodging technique with some financial cushioning. Sometimes I start to worry about it but remind myself that four years ago we were almost six months behind on the mortgage and depending on the charity of family and friends to simply survive.

"Broken pipe in the wall, I spit on your break and laugh in your face!"

Zach got a new job and TJ found one. Things are looking up around here. You have to keep things in perspective and I have mastered the art of always seeing the glass as half full.

It may sound crazy (most of my thoughts do) but having a house full again keeps me upbeat. I have more peeps to boss around, and if I cook for them they do pretty much anything I ask, sometimes with OUT asking. They've cleaned out my garage, cleaned my laundry room floor, caught up the laundry and even scrubbed a bathroom. While I was at work after the busted pipe got fixed, they not only put my kitchen back together but cleaned the crap out of it. That's what I'm talking about!

They washed all the towels used to sop up the mess in the kitchen and even dried them. When I went to shower for work yesterday after the flood I had to dry off with a hand towel.

Went into work today at four. It's Super Bowl weekend and peeps are having parties all weekend, Not overly busy but made almost a Franklin and back home before eleven even with a quick stop by Kroger.

Working Saturday night too then the brunch shift on Sunday. The owner (who has taken a huge hit this week due to the weather) decided to close after lunch on Sunday. Good call. Unless you are a sports bar it will be a ghost town. I couldn't care less about the Super Bowl other than the commercials and halftime but gonna make potato skins, hot wings and nachos for dinner...my kind of grub! I bet the Lost Boys will enjoy it too.

They are predicting more snow for the Atlanta area next Friday. Gimme a break! I live in the south for a reason and snow ain't it!

Ready for Spring and hoping that freakin' Groundhog gets it right on Sunday!

Til next time...COTTON

Time to Switch Hats...Again

Finished my week at  the mattress store today. It was a busy week. I moved out almost $3400 of merchandise on Tuesday and well over a grand yesterday. I work alone therefore I  move and help load alone. I went in this morning pretty stinking tired but feeling good, it was my best week there by  far. I was hoping to strike big again today but didn't. Guess you need to be grateful for what you have not for what you want.

I had a man come back from yesterday bringing his wife with him this time. He was looking at a mattress for $1099 and I was hoping his wife would like it too. No go. That's okay, you win some you lose some.

Actually I was grateful for the down time, I'm whupped. I had time in between customers to read my book and eat lunch undisturbed. A few more peeps came in and then I had another lull. I got crazy  and decided to install the update for my iPhone.

I've never had an iPhone before and only got this one because it was free. I hadn't upgraded in ten years and when I changed plans got the phone tossed in for free. Well, nothing is free from Verizon but at least they didn't charge me for the phone. Massey had to set it up for me and it took forever for me to even learn how to place a call. I regretted getting it at first but after a few tutorials from my kids learned to like it. I could check my bank account balance or lack thereof, I could check emails and even Facebook. Working alone ten hours a day the iPhone came in pretty handy. You  can't surf the web on the company computer and at any time corporate can log into  your computer or view the history.

So I bit the bullet today and finally hit the 'install update' icon. It made me immediately nervous. It took about forty five minutes to load.  I spent the time tidying up the bathroom and taking out the trash.

Some more customers came in and I gave them my best shot. The first was a young girl talking on her own iPhone as she cruised through the store. I said a friendly hello and asked if I could help her? She totally ignored me...not a good thing to do. I followed her and repeated "How are you doing today, can I help you?" She continued to ignore me and I continued to  slowly follow her around, keeping my distance but doing my job.

She looked at  several mattresses and then I couldn't hold back anymore. I walked right up to her (she was off her phone now) and asked what size mattress she was looking for? She shot me a look and said "I'm just looking." Maybe I shouldn't have but said "Knock yourself out, I'll be right over there if you need me" and pointed to my desk.

When you are fifty three years old working seven days a week, happen to be in the middle of a ten hour work shift and hot flashing most all the time in a store with no A/C  a snotty nosed twenty year old kid can really tick you off, especially when you've extended the olive branch several times.

It didn't phase her but when she walked out once again on her phone I made sure to say "Thanks for coming in!" (and even managed to not sound sarcastic)

My two younger kids are right around the same age this girl was. My kids can wear me out and often do. Sometimes I have to remind them they are talking to their mother and best  remember it. That usually gets the me the old eye roll and they pipe down...but when they are out in public with me are the most gracious and well mannered kids I've ever met.

When Zach went to the nursing home with me last week he was a knight in shining armor. He held doors open, he helped aides with lunch trays and asked every old person scooting down the hallway propelling themselves along by  their feet how they were doing? He put the foot pedals on Frances' wheelchair so her legs wouldn't hurt so much and spoke to every person in the hall again as we left, whether a patient or guest.

Massey is the same way. She can get snippy with me and sometimes does but take her out in public and she's adored by  the masses and with good reason. It's all "Thank you, yes ma'am, no sir or You are quite welcome!"

Here's the thing. Kids turning into  young adults are gonna push you, I know I did my own parents. Momma more than Diddy. My Diddy didn't play (he always had his belt on and wasn't scared to use it) and my Momma died when I was seventeen but was unnecessarily bossy  to her when I didn't need to be. It's one of the things I have always regretted. She died when I was a snotty brat who thought she knew everything. What I didn't know was that she would drop dead on the floor of a store in front of me when I was seventeen fixing to turn eighteen and would never have the chance to grow up and tell her how smart she really was and how right all her unwanted advice and unwanted wisdom turned  out to be.

I know my kids love me even if they don't show or tell me every day. I was unlucky to lose Momma that way but it taught me to read between the lines.

I too, was pleasant and cordial to others when sometimes a snot nosed ungrateful brat to my own Momma.

She knew I loved her. She knew I was a good person. She knew I had learned from her how to be a good person and was evident in the way I treated others.

Unfortunately my  Momma didn't live long enough for me to mature, realize this and thank her and I  mentally kick myself daily.

 She didn't and doesn't mind. She loved me and knew I loved her even if I didn't show it all the time.

That's what it means to be a parent, that's what it means to be a "Momma."

You raise your kids to the best of your ability.  Forgive them their many faults and pray  they remember the lessons you taught them. Then when they finally make their way into the world on  their own realize how very  right you  were.

“To the world you may be one person; but to one person you may be the world.”  (Dr. Seuss)


I gave it my best shot as a parent. I'm extremely imperfect but who isn't? I think I did okay. I hope I live long enough to see all the great things they  can do with the tools I gave them. I gave them love and taught them how to love.

I grew up in an amazing home with amazing parents. I look at this picture and simply think "Wow, I was one lucky kid."

I hope my own kids do that one day.

I was one of the luckiest kids in the world to grow up with these parents in this house.

Yep , we were lucky

and still are...we still have each other.

Lots of families grow apart as they grow older, ours shrank to three but became a tight knot of nuts!

This awesome couple married and although neither lived to see it,  have six grandchildren doing incredible things. Some made mistakes  along the way but have all learned from them. They are what they are  today because of these  two people or because of someone who loved and learned from them.

Yep, I'm one lucky daughter, sister, wife and Momma!

"You are you. Now isn't that Pleasant?" (once again the very smart Dr. Seuss)


 Being loved is a powerful feeling. It empowers you to love others and that's what life is all about.

Til next  time, COTTON

Let the Weekend Begin

I had Tuesday and Wednesday off this week. It's been a while since I've had back to back days off but since the furniture store closing have had more time off in the past two weeks than I have in months. It hasn't helped my pitiful bank account but my mind, body and soul now have a hefty balance and mean a lot more to me than money ever has.  The yards are done, laundry is caught up, my family has had some home cooked meals and I feel refreshed and ready to go again.

It's a good  thing. I worked today at  five, bummed another ride to work and bummed one back home. It was slow (first Falcon's home game) but lucked out and walked out with my buddy, Mr. Franklin. I've already arranged my next bummed ride to work for  tomorrow. Getting there is one thing, getting  home's a piece of cake.

Saturday I am bumming yet another ride to Fayetteville with a co worker from the furniture store to go work the new location. I'll go in at ten, get off at  four and have Tim (or whoever is home with our one car) pick me up and dump me off at  the restaurant by  five. Then I'll work and  bum another ride home. Sunday the car is open so I'll have transportation  to work.

Sheesh!

Massey was all bummed out today and red eyed from crying. We're $5,300 short of  what needs to be in her account by  August 19 for college. We tried her credit union but they won't give her a loan until she is eighteen, which happens to BE August 19.

I sat Massey down and asked her if I've ever let her down before? I went online and made her fill out a request for a Sallie Mae student loan. She plans on going straight through for her PHD and won't have to begin paying it back until she graduates.

It will be 24 to 48 hours before we hear if she gets the loan but have a generous benefactor co signing for her and pretty sure it will happen. If it doesn't, I'll find another way...I always seem to.

She and I sat  together eating leftovers in the living room and watched the Katie Couric show. It was about kids from normal, average and even above average families who stumbled into heroin addiction and ruined not only their own lives but the entire family's as well.

I looked over at Massey  and said "If being poor is  the worst thing that ever happens to us, I'd say we are about the luckiest people on earth."

Four years ago, I felt like Massey did earlier today...lost, embarrassed and humiliated. I simply told Massey, "Our life is what it is and I feel grateful for it."

If you only dwell on the negative, that's all you have... Negativity. If you constantly  strive for something better, something better WILL happen. It may not be the answer to it all but will be a step in the right direction. No person learned to walk in a day. It's one faltering step at a time. It's putting one foot in front of the other, day after day. It's stumbling and falling. It's picking yourself up and trying again.

When our lack of a vehicle debacle started about a month ago, I almost let myself slip back into the abyss of negativity.

I am an avid watcher and reader of  the news, and most of it isn't pretty. After  about twenty four hours into my sulk, I simply looked myself in the mirror and said "Our life is what it is and by all accounts of  the news I'm watching, we're some of  the lucky ones."

It's a good life. It's not the best life or the one I wanted at  this point in my over the 'halfway there' life... but at least we have made it to this point!

When I was standing in  the driveway today waiting for my co worker to pick me  up, my older neighbor came outside, leaning over the back of his big ole diesel truck saying "You  guys just don't have any luck at all with cars." I started to say, well you're retired and I cut your front and back yard for free  for four years so how about YOU taking my unlucky ass to work for free, old man?" I gave him a mental free pass and just chuckled like I  thought he was funny. (while choking back a LOT of sharp comebacks)

All old people get a free pass in my book, sometimes it's just hard to do.

It was getting close to the time when my friend was picking me up so I headed up  the street  to meet her at the top of the  subdivision.

Massey  came outside and said "Don't just walk up  the street like a homeless person." I told her I was walking up  the street FROM my home. I demurred to her obvious embarrassment so we stood together in the front yard,  admiring the free sod  that I worked so hard to lay and God worked so hard to water the past three weeks.

You know what may and WILL sound crazy?

Luckily, obviously I don't want an easy life like I used to.  I don't want things handed to me on a silver platter.  I don't want "Things." I want to be loved, I want to be a hard worker,  I want to be a funny person, I want to be a good mother a good wife, appreciated  and a writer. I  already have seven things checked off MY bucket list...how many people can say that?

Feeling pretty good about our sad old life.

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple." (Dr. Seuss)

Til next time...COTTON

Girl Gone...Again

Massey left again today for Spring Break in Disney World. This was a much more affordable trip, thank goodness. Two weeks ago she was in New York City in the snow...now she is in warm sunny Florida.

When she told me about this trip it was months ago and I readily agreed to let her go. She's going with a girl from school and her family. They had an extra park ticket for Massey and driving their camper down. I just didn't realize it was so close after the NYC trip.

I've had a bad week, no fault of Massey's  just had a bad run of luck. My car broke down and unfortunately  I'm even more broke than the car.

 She'd get up every morning and drive herself to school and while her car sat in the parking lot all day I sat stuck at home. I finally put my foot down the other day when in a particularly bad mood and set her straight on a few things. She stayed mad a couple of days but came around much  quicker than I would have when I was seventeen. She let me take her to school on Thursday, caught a ride home and had someone take her to school today so I could use her car again. I want to be mad at her but know what a spoiled brat I was at her age and how much lower my GPA was.

So I scraped together seventy bucks and sent her to Disney  for a week.  At least with her gone I have a vehicle to drive. If I have a great week at work I can make a deposit into her checking account, if I have a bad week she can drink out of the water fountains at  Disney.

I'm glad she got to go, guess I'm just a tad bit jealous. Here she is, traipsing off again while we all stay here working and scrambling.

It was my decision to not let her have a job  this last semester. She can babysit on weekends but HER job is to pass Trigonometry and Advanced Lit, keeping her GPA high enough to qualify for the Hope scholarship.

I love my little money pit and keep reminding myself that in five months she'll REALLY be gone.
I am  sure she's been embarrassed at  times by our poverty the last few years and been the butt of quite a few cruel comments  from a lot of the spoiled brats she goes to  school with.

She wears hand me downs my friends give her,  is always excited and grateful to get them and can accessorize like nobody's business. When I told her all I had was sixty bucks to give her for the Disney trip she was okay with it. Lucky for her, last night I had a great night at work and gave her ten more bucks when I came home. She even tried to refuse it but I can't send my kid off for an entire week and expect another family to pick up the entire tab. We may be broke but I still have some pride left. Thank goodness pride is free.

It actually will work out great for me with her gone all week. I have her car to drive and can pick up all  the shifts I can at  the restaurant. Tim and Zach will be own their own, I'll try to cook a meal or two but grown men with jobs should be able to figure it out for themselves. I still have another fifty pound bag of dog food left out in the garage my sweet friend gave me and have never heard of a human dying from eating Kibbles and Bits.

I've got the Verizon giants caught up and the furniture store is closed on Easter so I picked up a shift at  the restaurant. I may be able to make enough to get my lil beemer out of the shop and even have some left over to make a down payment on the car we're trying to get to replace my falling apart car. Our mechanic has another Volvo like the one he sold Tim but is newer. If I can get a grand together he will let me make payments on the balance. Then we will either trade my car in to him or if he gets it running pretty good will let Zach buy it for chump change.

Sometimes when I read what I write, feel like I should be embarrassed...but I'm not. Actually I'm pretty proud of  the way we have survived. We don't have a lot but we have what we need.

To go from living very comfortably to feeling very uncomfortable is not an easy pill to swallow, but when fortunate enough to have family and friends who love you  makes it much easier and teaches you a lot about lifestyles and what makes you  wealthy.

Lifestyle is defined as :  A way of life or style of living that reflects the attitudes and values of a person or a group.

This group (my family) have stuck  together. This family knows we don't have a lot. Our attitudes go up and down but our hearts remain full. We have each other...and to us that means a lot.

I mean it when I say if I didn't have this blog, if I didn't have a place to put it into print to read and reflect on from day to day, it would be much, much harder.

When I go back two years and see where we were...me chasing the gas company guy out to the truck and post dating a check to keep  the power on after hanging a cut off notice on the front door  I refused to open...people bringing us groceries, my brother and sister helping , my friends  helping...

We've been pretty lucky with our lifestyle...which is Survivor Lifestyle.

I have a friend who's house is being auctioned off on the courthouse steps this coming Tuesday and it breaks my heart for them.

I think we've done okay.  I will admit it, we're poor. But I live in the south... we have "Poor" and "Dirt Poor." We are on the upper end of poor and I couldn't be prouder!

Not that one week can change  a lifestyle but feel pretty good about this upcoming week. I tend to baby Massey and now that she is gone  can strike while the iron is hot. Work like crazy and finally get a bit  ahead.

Whenever I get depressed I try and  think about the millions and millions living in famine with nasty flies lighting on their tiny sallow faces, too weak to even bat them away. I think about local tragedies  like little Tripp Halstead, I think about Sandy Hook parents and think about people living under the bridge by  Turner Field.

Makes my life look like a dream come true.

You know, I am one of the luckiest people on the planet.

Til next  time...COTTON

It Was a Good One

It just wouldn't be Christmas without my brother bothering one of the boys. This is an old photo...that's Massey on the right talking to my Diddy in the background. She was probably five. That's my nephew Griff enjoying a hug from his uncle.

I think this is the first year one of the boys... TJ, Casey, Griffin or Zach haven't been pinned down or wrestled to the ground by their uncle Chris. We have at least twenty photos of the boys all in various holds or contorted states. Chris must be slipping...the only one he pinned down this year was Ziggy. Then again, Ziggy was due.

Somehow it all came together. All those days working non stop from Thanksgiving to Christmas paid off. I got every thing bought and paid for with cash and even managed to get Christmas Eve off.

The family all came over to our house Christmas Day and I threw together dinner. Chris got there first and threw together some Bloody Mary's and the party began. My kids were all happy with what they got, I was thrilled with my bounty and blessed beyond belief. Family, friends , fun  and love!

The above is one of my favorite presents. Massey made it for me in her pottery  class. I got  lots of nice clothes and a great pea coat. I got shoes and other presents but the best present of all was laughter, food and cheer with my whole family and  didn't have to leave it all early to run to work or leave the house at all.

Ham was treated like  a King. He was petted and loved on and secretly fed chunks of ham and mac and cheese. Charlie was just happy his daddy TJ was there.  Ziggy was just happy...he always is whether he is bad or good, the boy is just always happy.

My nephew actually managed to teach  Ziggy to sit and shake. You would have thought he had taught Ziggy how to decipher secret codes from the Taliban I was so happy! Here I was resigned to the fact we were destined for signing him up for the K9 special Olympics and hoping he could win a bronze medal for "Cutest Circle of Dooky on a Floor" and now he was actually doing a REAL trick and even one I don't have to pick up with toilet paper!

We had a sugar glazed ham, home made mac & cheese, baked beans with bacon, asparagus casserole and potato salad. We had toll house chocolate chip cookies and rice krispie treats. We had fun looking up funny things on the Internet, YouTube and looking at old pictures and videos. We simply had fun...and a wonderful Christmas time!

I crashed on the sofa after all were gone and dishes were washed. Ate my  fave, a frozen pizza and watched Indiana Jones, the Temple of Doom and Office Space. I fell asleep on  the sofa to the sound of  Zach and TJ talking downstairs in the dining room together just being brothers. It was wonderful  to hear and lulled me into a deep sleep.

I woke up this morning still on  the couch and thought about how much I could get up and do. Then I rolled over and  covered up. I stayed on the couch til it was time to get ready for work at three. It was an awesome day. I watched movies and the news. I watched GH and ate some some lunch Massey brought me.

I went into work and came back home. Now I am off again til Friday morning...ain't life grand? Taking my Ham for his last heart worm shot tomorrow and doing the family thing again til Friday morning. I didn't realize how much I needed the rest til I took it...and it felt marvelous!

We've  come full circle and that is a great gift. It wasn't easy and certainly didn't do it alone but have done it none the less.

Come on 2013...Let's see whatcha got!

Til next  time...a much rested COTTON