When she told me about this trip it was months ago and I readily agreed to let her go. She's going with a girl from school and her family. They had an extra park ticket for Massey and driving their camper down. I just didn't realize it was so close after the NYC trip.
I've had a bad week, no fault of Massey's just had a bad run of luck. My car broke down and unfortunately I'm even more broke than the car.
She'd get up every morning and drive herself to school and while her car sat in the parking lot all day I sat stuck at home. I finally put my foot down the other day when in a particularly bad mood and set her straight on a few things. She stayed mad a couple of days but came around much quicker than I would have when I was seventeen. She let me take her to school on Thursday, caught a ride home and had someone take her to school today so I could use her car again. I want to be mad at her but know what a spoiled brat I was at her age and how much lower my GPA was.
So I scraped together seventy bucks and sent her to Disney for a week. At least with her gone I have a vehicle to drive. If I have a great week at work I can make a deposit into her checking account, if I have a bad week she can drink out of the water fountains at Disney.
I'm glad she got to go, guess I'm just a tad bit jealous. Here she is, traipsing off again while we all stay here working and scrambling.
It was my decision to not let her have a job this last semester. She can babysit on weekends but HER job is to pass Trigonometry and Advanced Lit, keeping her GPA high enough to qualify for the Hope scholarship.
I am sure she's been embarrassed at times by our poverty the last few years and been the butt of quite a few cruel comments from a lot of the spoiled brats she goes to school with.
She wears hand me downs my friends give her, is always excited and grateful to get them and can accessorize like nobody's business. When I told her all I had was sixty bucks to give her for the Disney trip she was okay with it. Lucky for her, last night I had a great night at work and gave her ten more bucks when I came home. She even tried to refuse it but I can't send my kid off for an entire week and expect another family to pick up the entire tab. We may be broke but I still have some pride left. Thank goodness pride is free.
It actually will work out great for me with her gone all week. I have her car to drive and can pick up all the shifts I can at the restaurant. Tim and Zach will be own their own, I'll try to cook a meal or two but grown men with jobs should be able to figure it out for themselves. I still have another fifty pound bag of dog food left out in the garage my sweet friend gave me and have never heard of a human dying from eating Kibbles and Bits.
I've got the Verizon giants caught up and the furniture store is closed on Easter so I picked up a shift at the restaurant. I may be able to make enough to get my lil beemer out of the shop and even have some left over to make a down payment on the car we're trying to get to replace my falling apart car. Our mechanic has another Volvo like the one he sold Tim but is newer. If I can get a grand together he will let me make payments on the balance. Then we will either trade my car in to him or if he gets it running pretty good will let Zach buy it for chump change.
Sometimes when I read what I write, feel like I should be embarrassed...but I'm not. Actually I'm pretty proud of the way we have survived. We don't have a lot but we have what we need.
To go from living very comfortably to feeling very uncomfortable is not an easy pill to swallow, but when fortunate enough to have family and friends who love you makes it much easier and teaches you a lot about lifestyles and what makes you wealthy.
Lifestyle is defined as : A way of life or style of living that reflects the attitudes and values of a person or a group.
This group (my family) have stuck together. This family knows we don't have a lot. Our attitudes go up and down but our hearts remain full. We have each other...and to us that means a lot.
I mean it when I say if I didn't have this blog, if I didn't have a place to put it into print to read and reflect on from day to day, it would be much, much harder.
When I go back two years and see where we were...me chasing the gas company guy out to the truck and post dating a check to keep the power on after hanging a cut off notice on the front door I refused to open...people bringing us groceries, my brother and sister helping , my friends helping...
We've been pretty lucky with our lifestyle...which is Survivor Lifestyle.
I have a friend who's house is being auctioned off on the courthouse steps this coming Tuesday and it breaks my heart for them.
I think we've done okay. I will admit it, we're poor. But I live in the south... we have "Poor" and "Dirt Poor." We are on the upper end of poor and I couldn't be prouder!
Not that one week can change a lifestyle but feel pretty good about this upcoming week. I tend to baby Massey and now that she is gone can strike while the iron is hot. Work like crazy and finally get a bit ahead.
Whenever I get depressed I try and think about the millions and millions living in famine with nasty flies lighting on their tiny sallow faces, too weak to even bat them away. I think about local tragedies like little Tripp Halstead, I think about Sandy Hook parents and think about people living under the bridge by Turner Field.
Makes my life look like a dream come true.
You know, I am one of the luckiest people on the planet.
Til next time...COTTON
No comments:
Post a Comment