Monday, May 13, 2013

"The Fun Girls" to the Hundreth Power

Have you ever seen the episode of the Andy Griffith Show, "The Fun Girls?" Well I met some girls who make them look like "The Church Lady" from the  SNL skit.

My sister took a road trip with us this past weekend for a 36 hour visit to the beach. Dear friends of ours had a beach wedding and invited all their friends down to join them. They rented a house on the beach  for a week which sleeps twenty  two and over thirty showed up and squeezed in.

We got a late start Friday then ran into a horrible accident around Montgomery which put us behind another hour. We rolled in shortly after dark. Our friend had sent us a text with the front door code number so we could let ourselves in. Heck, there wasn't even a need to give us the house number,  we  could hear  them all before we even got out of  the car.

It was a high school friend of mine getting married. She worked for the same airline my sister  worked for and had many friends in  common. Some of them played together on the company softball team, some were flight attendants or gate agents together and some just knew each other through high school or college acquaintances. Some knew each simply by being  "Guilty  by Association."

It was one crazy scene we walked into. My  friend had warned me it was gonna be a party and offered for Massey and me to stay at her own house a few miles away. I told her we'd be fine at the beach. Number one I didn't WANT to miss the party OR the beach and Number two, Massey's older brother cusses like a sailor. He always says "It's no big deal, it's just a word." I warned Massey to  ignore any bad language she might hear and remember her brother's just as bad.

Well, Massey learned a LOT of new words in less than fifteen seconds after we punched in  the door code and they all finally noticed us walk in. I noticed in under fifteen seconds  that my son's mouth wasn't so bad after all and wondered if we had mistakenly opened the door to "Fleet Week on the Gulf?"

There was one group of about twelve  seated around a huge dining room table with  a pile of money in the middle obviously drinking while they gambled. A few others were sitting at a smaller dining room table drinking. One had a microphone  belting out lyrics  to  the song currently playing and another ten were milling around the kitchen with  bowls of a delicious smelling shrimp creole dish served with rice. We immediately got in line for a bowl. Every person we  were introduced to didn't just smile and shake our hand but grabbed us with a welcoming, genuine tight (alcohol induced) hug.

We instantly felt at  home and my sister and I did our best  to  catch up on the alcohol consumption  with great success. Massey already knew a lot of them since she spent a month with my friends last summer .

A lot of them were married having left their husbands at  home like my sister and me. Some were single,  a few had dared to bring their husbands who just  simply shook their heads at all the craziness and some were with their partner. (Yes my friends who were getting married are "Gay" (which in my book means happy and carefree) and  every person in that house that night was EXTREMELY gay! They have been  together since 1982 and  worried if something happened to either of them they would have no legal rights as far as medical or  financial decisions  go.

Thanks to idiotic homophobic people and politicians, we got to go  to a big ole PAR TAY!

I haven't laughed that much in a long, long time. They all swore like sailors and laughed like hyenas and were totally infectious. Naturally  they all fell in love with Massey (the only sober person in the house) which pumped me with tremendous pride.

They had name tags on  all  the bedroom doors and we found ours and dumped our bags. It was a beautiful house and a beautiful night. I met two of the craziest sisters I have ever known.
My own sister warned me  they were four sisters, equally crazy but only two of  them were  there. I couldn't imagine being around all four at once. There may be some law against it...if there isn't  there should be. They are the happiest, funniest crazy girls I ever met. One of the sisters was sitting next  to me on  the couch and at  one point said "I gave up on trying to figure out who's gay"  to which I responded "Me too, I thought YOU were  til you started talking about your husband and little girl. At least you don't have MY haircut, I may as well give up." She said "You know, I just love people...I don't give a sh*t about gay or straight I care about good or bad."

Not too sure what  time we went to our assigned bedrooms but I slept like a rock. Every bedroom had queen sized beds and your own bathroom with a tub and shower.

We let Massey bunk in our room, not being assigned a room. My friends were gonna let her sleep on an air mattress on the floor in their master suite which was huge but I let Massey have my spot in  the bed and slept at  the foot of the bed in our room on  the air mattress. When  you're two sheets to  the wind an air mattress feels  just fine with one sheet on it.

Finally all the sailors crashed and the huge house quieted.

We woke the next  morning  and I heard my sister say from the bed above me (imitating the sailors  from the previous night) "I slept pretty effing good, how bout you?"

So  this is the crazy mob we stayed with. It was an  eclectic bunch of straight people, gay people, married people, single people; family, relatives and in laws. Five dogs (one dog changed outfits more than I did) an internet ordained minister, one teenaged kid who overlooked the potty mouth but won every one of their hearts and made more new friends than me.

All in all the weekend made me realize even more that I'm right in my perception of the whole debacle over  sexual orientation.

You're either a good person or a bad person...nothing else matters and if it does, God will hold you  accountable one day, not us.

It was a great  trip. It was a short trip but was certainly "A TRIP." Couldn't think of a better way  to spend a Mother's Day weekend; with my sister,  my  daughter  and forty good people. Even the caterer's servers from  the reception went home, changed clothes  after they got off and came back to join our party. They said it was the most fun wedding  they had ever worked.

What's really proverbial icing on the wedding cake is  at  the same  time on  the beach several hundred yards away another couple was getting married on  the beach as well. A man and a woman. They had to pay  a huge fee to have their wedding ceremony on the beach. My friends  didn't have to pay a dime because their marriage isn't  recognized in the state of Florida.

They took care of  that legality back in October in a private ceremony in New Hampshire, just the two of them. This weekend was just  about celebrating  the victory...two good people becoming one good family.

Congrats to my dear friends and  thank you  for an absolutely wonderful weekend.

Til next  time...COTTON

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