February Is Marching Out

I thought about this today as I was cleaning the back sliding glass door leading to our back porch. The dogs can't just simply look through the glass without their wet nose pressed against it.

Every single time.

Whether on the inside or the outside, doesn't matter.

Maybe they are like me and are far sighted.

I still find Charlie's white hair when cleaning the leather love seat he claimed for his own personal throne.

We all still miss Sir Charles...even Ziggy and Ham still look for him.

Ole "Chally-TooPhat" was a pretty cool ole dog. We didn't really want him all that much when he first got dumped off at our house eleven years ago for a two week stay and was hard the love the ole grump. Then eleven years later we had an even harder time finally letting him go.

He had a good run with us, was always taken care of and loved. What more can you do for a dog?




Then this happened...

I worked an opening lunch shift yesterday. I was kinda excited. The opening server goes in at ten thirty and is usually walking out the door before two. I knew I probably wouldn't make a lot of money but already had my 'ToDo' list written down for the rest of the afternoon.

Then the hostess called out. No worries, it's usually slow on Monday day shifts. We run with three servers, one bartender and a host.

So what we were down one man?

But, here's the thing about working in the restaurant world. One law always applies to any given shift, any given day.

...And it did.

My first table was a party of seven which turned into a party of nine and stayed for three hours. Three bottles of wine, ran me to death but ran up a tab of $450. Very nice people though, having a business meeting. The place filled up quickly. On the day shift we don't have support staff (bussers or food runners) so was pretty much left to us three servers to run our own food, clear and reset our tables and now seat the guests as well.

Controlled chaos at its best.

I clocked out at four but did so with a car payment in my pocket.

I ran all my errands anyway and finally got home around six. I walked in the house and saw a manila envelope on the kitchen table with my name on it. I didn't know anyone from New Hampshire but opened it, curious to know what some Yankee had sent me.

How sweet was this?

I knew immediately who it was from.  The package had a tracking number on it and had been delivered early after noon.



During the debacle of my lunch shift, I  received a text from a co worker. It read "How's your day?"

I simply didn't even have the time to reply.

Then when I opened the envelope, it all made sense.

I was on the fence about this woman when she stomped her way into Chroma a few weeks after I started. She charges into the room, seems to take over and no one argues when she does. She walks like she is on a mission to kick some one's ass and take their name later.

She kinda scared me.

I am a lot older than her, not nearly as pretty and was still nervous about getting everything right at my new job. This old dog finds it extremely hard to learn new tricks.

After a few months went by we became work friends. She has the same work ethic I have and when working together make a pretty great team.

At Thanksgiving time last year, she spearheaded a fundraiser behind my back with all the other employees and they presented me with a $100 Publix gift card, thanking me for all the food I bring in and share, not to mention always having candy and snacks for everyone.

So very true.

Sometimes I make other people happy and in return, (lucky for me) they do the same.

It's The Golden Rule personified.

It can be something as simple as a phone call, text, email, note dropped in snail mail or hug when someone needs it.

I have so many faults there isn't enough paper in the world to jot them all down on. But faults should inspire, not define you.

I'm not the best at anything (other than sarcasm) but know what love is and how much it means.

It may sound trivial but isn't. When this world learns to love more than hate, that will be the change.

My life has been quite the journey. Watched both my parents die in front of my own two eyes, which opened them even more. Married a wonderful man, had three kids and two decades of success, then a decade of financial failure.

Then this happened...

We are all still here, five surviving and thriving. Be a good person and good things will happen to you.

Don't worry about politics so much, worry about loving each other more.

I say this with firm conviction. Tim and I are a divided couple. He was a Repub yet married a Demo.

The problems of this world will only be solved when we all meet in the middle, quit accusingly point fingers at each other like children but instead work from the middle to achieve the outward common goal .

Grow up America.

I did, so can you.

Til next time...COTTON

Three Amazing Words..."Pay It Forward"

I got a message from a friend of mine wanting to meet up with me and asked if I was off On Tuesday? I told her no but to come by the restaurant and eat with me.

She came bopping in with her boyfriend and they ate at one of my tables. She also reads my blog so of course pretty much knew who every one there was!

I met Kim a few years back through a Facebook page my sister and I started for the church we attended when we were kids and then young adults. Kim was now a member and joined our page.

The above is a shot from the fifties. Both my parents and Aunt and Uncle are in it. It was a neighborhood church and from this picture quite obviously in a white neighborhood.

Today the church is still  true to the existing neighborhood and  is a racially diverse congregation, just like my friend and her boyfriend.

She's come down to eat at my sister's house with us and we have kept in touch. She came in today and I had the owner cook their meals. As usual, he rocked it and think they enjoyed it. The owners bought them dessert and I sent them packing with tons of leftovers. I ran her credit card but put a zero in the tip column, telling her it was my treat and no tip was necessary.

I introduced her to Barb (one of my bosses) on her way out the door. Kim told me I should play the lottery tonight and thought it was a joke about how unlucky I am. I had done a blog about that a few nights ago and guessed she had read it.

I went back to her table after they left and sitting under the bill was a big stack of lottery tickets with a sticky note on top reading "May you win the biggest tip EVER!! Kim and Matt".

Here's a girl who until recently rode the bus everywhere and didn't even own a car. She worked several jobs trying to land a full time position. She eventually got a car and a job. She sends me uplifting messages and always encourages me. She's a delight and feel lucky to have her in my corner and on my friend list.

I gave my boss, who takes care of me as if I was one of her kids a ticket. I gave the two girls working with me who give me rides home from work time and time again each a ticket. I didn't want to leave out the owner's husband (as Barb calls Len) one for cooking their dinner and buying their dessert.

It's all about Paying It Forward. My friend paid it forward to me and I paid it forward to ones who have helped me.

What a thoughtful thing for her to do!

I was all excited she was finally coming to the restaurant where I work (an hour's drive) and having Len make her food. I thought I was doing something nice for her not accepting a tip and turns out she once again one upped me!

Needless to say everyone at the restaurant was excited about a one time shot at ANYTHING and now know what a terrific girl my friend, Kim is!

Oh I have my stack in the kitchen on the counter! I had to bum another ride home from work but tomorrow morning will go get my "Luck On" at the local gas station before Tim takes the car to work.

It sounds silly but if people lived by the "Pay It Forward" rule, things would be wonderful and only continue to get better.

I am a firm believer in Karma and Pay It Forward, therefore know with sincerity everything will be okay for us.

My eye is almost healed and as I say, am down to "Car wreck" status. My back's flared up again but bought some Icy Hot patches and are working wonders.

Sometimes it's easy to get depressed about your life but have decided I don't like the easy way.

I have so many blessings it would take Rain Man to count them.

I'm a crazy loud mouth skinny woman with an excellent sense of humor (unless you ask my kids) and find laughter is truly the best medicine.

I have The Big Guy upstairs, family, friends and sometimes mere acquaintances who lift me up every day. When I feel down and out, I look up. When I think all is lost, I find something to hold on to. When I think I can't go on, I do. Sometimes I stumble but simply persevere and clumsily find the way.

My life's not pretty but it's MY life and am grateful for it. I am loved and hopefully others feel MY love.

If you don't give of yourself, why should you ever expect to receive anything?


Til next time, an extremely grateful COTTON.

"The Fun Girls" to the Hundreth Power

Have you ever seen the episode of the Andy Griffith Show, "The Fun Girls?" Well I met some girls who make them look like "The Church Lady" from the  SNL skit.

My sister took a road trip with us this past weekend for a 36 hour visit to the beach. Dear friends of ours had a beach wedding and invited all their friends down to join them. They rented a house on the beach  for a week which sleeps twenty  two and over thirty showed up and squeezed in.

We got a late start Friday then ran into a horrible accident around Montgomery which put us behind another hour. We rolled in shortly after dark. Our friend had sent us a text with the front door code number so we could let ourselves in. Heck, there wasn't even a need to give us the house number,  we  could hear  them all before we even got out of  the car.

It was a high school friend of mine getting married. She worked for the same airline my sister  worked for and had many friends in  common. Some of them played together on the company softball team, some were flight attendants or gate agents together and some just knew each other through high school or college acquaintances. Some knew each simply by being  "Guilty  by Association."

It was one crazy scene we walked into. My  friend had warned me it was gonna be a party and offered for Massey and me to stay at her own house a few miles away. I told her we'd be fine at the beach. Number one I didn't WANT to miss the party OR the beach and Number two, Massey's older brother cusses like a sailor. He always says "It's no big deal, it's just a word." I warned Massey to  ignore any bad language she might hear and remember her brother's just as bad.

Well, Massey learned a LOT of new words in less than fifteen seconds after we punched in  the door code and they all finally noticed us walk in. I noticed in under fifteen seconds  that my son's mouth wasn't so bad after all and wondered if we had mistakenly opened the door to "Fleet Week on the Gulf?"

There was one group of about twelve  seated around a huge dining room table with  a pile of money in the middle obviously drinking while they gambled. A few others were sitting at a smaller dining room table drinking. One had a microphone  belting out lyrics  to  the song currently playing and another ten were milling around the kitchen with  bowls of a delicious smelling shrimp creole dish served with rice. We immediately got in line for a bowl. Every person we  were introduced to didn't just smile and shake our hand but grabbed us with a welcoming, genuine tight (alcohol induced) hug.

We instantly felt at  home and my sister and I did our best  to  catch up on the alcohol consumption  with great success. Massey already knew a lot of them since she spent a month with my friends last summer .

A lot of them were married having left their husbands at  home like my sister and me. Some were single,  a few had dared to bring their husbands who just  simply shook their heads at all the craziness and some were with their partner. (Yes my friends who were getting married are "Gay" (which in my book means happy and carefree) and  every person in that house that night was EXTREMELY gay! They have been  together since 1982 and  worried if something happened to either of them they would have no legal rights as far as medical or  financial decisions  go.

Thanks to idiotic homophobic people and politicians, we got to go  to a big ole PAR TAY!

I haven't laughed that much in a long, long time. They all swore like sailors and laughed like hyenas and were totally infectious. Naturally  they all fell in love with Massey (the only sober person in the house) which pumped me with tremendous pride.

They had name tags on  all  the bedroom doors and we found ours and dumped our bags. It was a beautiful house and a beautiful night. I met two of the craziest sisters I have ever known.

My own sister warned me  they were four sisters, equally crazy but only two of  them were  there. I couldn't imagine being around all four at once. There may be some law against it...if there isn't  there should be. They are the happiest, funniest crazy girls I ever met. One of the sisters was sitting next  to me on  the couch and at  one point said "I gave up on trying to figure out who's gay"  to which I responded "Me too, I thought YOU were  til you started talking about your husband and little girl. At least you don't have MY haircut, I may as well give up." She said "You know, I just love people...I don't give a sh*t about gay or straight I care about good or bad."

Not too sure what  time we went to our assigned bedrooms but I slept like a rock. Every bedroom had queen sized beds and your own bathroom with a tub and shower.

We let Massey bunk in our room, not being assigned a room. My friends were gonna let her sleep on an air mattress on the floor in their master suite which was huge but I let Massey have my spot in  the bed and slept at  the foot of the bed in our room on  the air mattress. When  you're two sheets to  the wind an air mattress feels  just fine with one sheet on it.

Finally all the sailors crashed and the huge house quieted.

We woke the next  morning  and I heard my sister say from the bed above me (imitating the sailors  from the previous night) "I slept pretty effing good, how bout you?"

So  this is the crazy mob we stayed with. It was an  eclectic bunch of straight people, gay people, married people, single people; family, relatives and in laws. Five dogs (one dog changed outfits more than I did) an internet ordained minister, one teenaged kid who overlooked the potty mouth but won every one of their hearts and made more new friends than me.

All in all the weekend made me realize even more that I'm right in my perception of the whole debacle over  sexual orientation.

You're either a good person or a bad person...nothing else matters and if it does, God will hold you  accountable one day, not us.

It was a great  trip. It was a short trip but was certainly "A TRIP." Couldn't think of a better way  to spend a Mother's Day weekend; with my sister,  my  daughter  and forty good people. Even the caterer's servers from  the reception went home, changed clothes  after they got off and came back to join our party. They said it was the most fun wedding  they had ever worked.

What's really proverbial icing on the wedding cake is  at  the same  time on  the beach several hundred yards away another couple was getting married on  the beach as well. A man and a woman. They had to pay  a huge fee to have their wedding ceremony on the beach. My friends  didn't have to pay a dime because their marriage isn't  recognized in the state of Florida.

They took care of  that legality back in October in a private ceremony in New Hampshire, just the two of them. This weekend was just  about celebrating  the victory...two good people becoming one good family.

Congrats to my dear friends and  thank you  for an absolutely wonderful weekend.

Til next  time...COTTON