I dropped Zach off at work before I went in and he sent me packing with 32 hot wings from Hooters to take to work with me. It was a wonderful surprise. I hadn't eaten all day and was famished.
I had so many plans for today but worked a double shift yesterday and woke up this morning feeling totally wiped out. I think I have just burned myself out over the past two years...not to mention that I am over 52 years old and have been doing this for over three decades. Guess time is catching up with me.
I am at least ten years older than the oldest server except for one and most are over half my age and some are even younger than my oldest son.
I told Tim the other night that I just didn't think I could do it anymore. Day after day, double after double. I did have a day off this week though and as of late have been taking two days off. I still work more shifts than most servers but I always have. The thing I have to remember is I am not nineteen anymore. When I was nineteen I worked six days a week...but that's all I did. (Besides party)
Now I have responsibilities, a house, a family, a yard, three dogs and a body that is over half a century old yet still working on my feet trying to keep up with kids half my age and then some.
When I was a little girl way back in the sixties and thought about what I would be doing when I was over fifty it certainly wasn't this. Of course when I was little I considered people who were thirty middle aged. People who were forty were ole farts and people in their fifties sat around and did nothing until they moved to Florida to die.
These hot flashes aren't helping either. They used to be only at night but have worked their way into my daylight hours as well and now even plague me at work. If you are not a woman in your fifties, you have no idea what I am talking about, so let me enlighten you.
All the sudden you feel like you are going to literally melt on the spot where you are standing. In a matter of five seconds you have sweat rolling down your back and your forehead is covered in perspiration. It's not a matter of feeling flushed but a matter of feeling like you want to rip your clothes off and jump into the Artic Ocean....in January. If you are in the bed asleep and it happens, you wake up totally drenched in sweat and can't bear any sheet or covers even touching you. Then five minutes later you are freezing and searching around blindly in the dark for your covers. Then once you finally get back to sleep it begins again two hours later. Not very conducive for a good night's rest.
On top of this I work in a kitchen where the temp never drops below 95 degrees. Add the stress of carrying ten pounds of plates on your arm and trying to keep the masses happy while they wait for their meal to come and trying to smile the entire time...it's exhausting.
I'm having to re-evaluate. Am I going to kill myself on the job or take it easy on my body and let the chips fall where they may?
The bank I have an account with closed a branch two months ago. Yesterday they closed another branch...not a good sign. I told Barb at work tonight I was going over there and getting my six dollars out before they went under! That's a gallon of milk , two loaves of store brand bread and a dollar roll of crappy trash bags that tear when you just look at them but are better than nothing.
I'm getting old, had a rough couple of years but survived. Now I need to take care of myself before I put my kids through losing a mother way too early, like I did.
Massey had a grand idea. She wants to video tape me reading some of my better blogs and putting them on youtube. No money spent, just putting me out there to see what happens.
Can't hurt, might help!
I'm turning in for another night of often interrupted sleep. Waking up to do it all again and then on Sunday taking my little girl to downtown Atlanta for her seventeenth birthday at the restaurant of her choosing. Don't want to disclose too much about it but let's just say it's gonna be a good day for Massey and a lot less driving her around for me!
Til next time...COTTON
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