Mentally and physically I am feeling MUCH better. I have finally discovered that depression doesn't help anything but the number of hours of sleep you get in a day. I have NEVER needed more than six hours and just seem to run better that way.
I am pedaling as fast and as furious as I can. I have passed the mark of depression because it didn't help one bit and seems to make my hair go gray a LOT quicker. It's already only an inch and a half long because I decided if I had LESS hair I would have less GRAY hair.
The kids were out of school today and have tomorrow off as well. I drove ole Johnny up to the front of the subdivision to cut it so I can get my $40 check from the Homeowner's ASSociation...(no that wasn't a typo.)
I only had time to cut and not weed eat...no yard of mine is complete until I take ole "WEEDY" through the trenches and trim it all out nicely. I am going to finish with "Weedy" tomorrow after my day shift and better have a check waiting in my mail box. It's sad that a $40 check can make or break me but I have never heard of someone cutting your grass and having to wait a week for a check...unless you are cutting the government's yard.
Massey was at a friend's house wanting me to pick her up when I pulled ole Johnny back into the garage. I sent up a prayer and sent Zach off in my car to pick her up while I showered and ironed a shirt for work.
I let Zach drop me off at work and gave him a detailed grocery list. My food stamp money has been held up becuse of the back log of people applying and I told him specifically what items to buy.
Work started out slow but I had two tables that ordered bottles of wine and ended up making my intended goal and then some.
Zach came to pick me up from work and I still had a table sitting having a business meeting. Massey had gone off with some guard friends and was due to get home soon. Tim had already left for work and she is a sissy when at home alone. Like ANYONE would come in our house with 300 pound's worth of dogs sitting in the kitchen just waiting for the garage door to open.
I asked Zach to text her from my phone telling her I would be home soon. He said he did but when I finally left work I checked my "Sent" messages saw that he sent her a text from my phone saying "You better lose that attitude before I get home." I had a response from Massey that said "I didn't do anything. You need to chill." While I was in the gas station, Zach sent her the same message again and when I got back in the car she had sent me back a text saying "Yes Ma'am."
Maybe Zach is on to something!
I asked him if he had gotten everything on the grocery list and he assured me he did. I had told him to get a small bag of sugar to make tea and coffee. He bought me a bag of powdered sugar... Do you think that will work in iced tea?
When I got home Massey was lapping around me like a dog that had pee'ed on the couch by mistake.
When you have a teen age boy and a teen age girl in the same house it is like a constant "Cock Fight."
Yes Massey can be lazy and her room is a wreck. On the other hand she makes great grades and is super involved with the band.
Zach is involved with God knows what and tries my patience on an hourly basis.
They are both my kids...I only have myself to blame.
Had a great night at work...I am almost in the black in my checking account and tomorrow morning I may feel brave enough to pull into the drive in window right next to the bank. I usually go to the one on the outside lane and make fake calls on my cell phone so maybe they will think I am a really busy person and haven't realized I am in the red...the velvet...the crimson.
I got an email today from a guy I barely know. He reads my blog and raved about me. He said a lot of other people felt the same way.
My next project is going to be exploring ways I can publish this crazy life I live. He even asked me if I made up some of the characters I write about.
I can assure you all that THIS IS MY LIFE. It may sound like I am making it up but if that were true I would be sitting in a mansion like "The Clampetts" had.
People have often remarked about my email address "theclampetts."
I am living THEIR life. I am a hard working person, an honest person. Waiting for my break and when it finally comes I will be the first one to say "Weeee Doggies."
I will be just like The Clampetts...grateful for everything and have no shame of knowing where I came from. Good family, good friends and a desire to make a better life for my family.
Who knows? Maybe one day we will even have a cement pond!
Working 10 shifts this week...and I truly believe this will be the week that turns my bike with a flat tire into a "Mo-Ped."
"Well I'm movin' on up."
At least I finally feel good...That has to count for something. Before you know it I will be in a Porsche.
(Relax Chris, I wasn't talking about yours...yet)
It's been a year...it has been something I never want to experience again. It has been humbling and it has been embarassing. It has been uplifting and at times miraculous. I have so many people to thank and so many things to pay forward.
I am resolved to not let this one time of despair to be my defining moment. I am resloved to make this the thing that makes me realize how lucky a person can be when they are loved.
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Sometimes I wanted to waddle in despair but now realize I am one of the luckiest people on the planet.
"When the going gets tough...the tough get going."
Til next time..COTTON
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