The "Waiter" In Me...Literally

I have waited seventeen years to see my son, Zach smile this big again. I will have to wait until I (hopefully) walk through the pearly gates to see my Diddy smile this big again.

This is my favorite photo of Zachary with his Grandpa. It was taken at a surprise party for his retirement at Johnny's Pizza where I worked.

It was a time when Zach was too little to speak...much less complain about the corrupt and vile system he has to mainstream into to survive..."HIGH SCHOOL."

It was a time when my Diddy had finally somewhat overcome the sudden loss of our mother and could look in his grand son's face and truly laugh with happiness.

Nine years ago this week the twin towers fell. Eight years ago this week... my heart fell.

Eight years ago I pushed tubes, wires and monitors to the side and laid down next to a man that will always be my hero and lucky for me also happened to be my "Diddy." One stinking mosquito bite took him from all of us but sent him quickly on to his much deserved reward.

I haven't been hit with such a hard blow since I saw my mother die just as unexpectly when I was 17 years old.

To lose a parent is awful...to lose a tremendous and wonderful parent is even worse.

I am told things happen for a reason.

I believe now the reason both of my parent's were taken too early was to urge me on. They gave up their life so I would realize the value of my life...the urgency and the reason FOR life.

I have a wonderful husband, three great kids (overall) and a life worth living.

I have learned what waiting is. " Waiting Game"... is described in Webster's as "The stratagem of deferring action and allowing the passage of time to work in one's favor."

I come from sturdy stock. I come from two parent's that were not only incredible, but who incredibly taught me how to survive.

I have often wondered in the past year how we would survive. I have wondered how we could make it. I have wondered IF we could make it.

I know now, looking over the past year how fortunate I am ...how blessed I am and how downright "LUCKY" I am.

I've made many mistakes and will most probably make many more. But I have two wonderful parents sitting upstairs cheering me on and a host of family and friends down here... too many to name, that have helped us through and never asked for recognition or reward. They love me and my family. They have taken over where my parent's left off and have filled my life with a spirit and a feeling of love that will never be forgotten.

I am "WAITING." I am waiting to pay back all of these people...family, friends and people that I don't even know. Without their help and without their love I wouldn't be sitting here typing on my computer. I would be under the bridge at Turner Field trying to shove a mattress under the upper most pillars. I would be standing in line at a soup kitchen. I would be standing by the highway exit holding a sign.

But I was lucky enough to be born Frank and Ann Leach's daughter. I was raised to respect people and to always have compassion for others. I just didn't know that one day I would have to accept compassion from others as an adult.

I think in many ways this last year has been the greatest year of my life. I have not only learned humility but learned how to accept help and more than all of this...how to feel not only grateful but learned the urgency of "Paying it Forward."

I keep telling Tim that we will laugh about this difficult year one day...but I don't think that is true now. I think that this last year will serve as a reminder.

Where you come from often determines where you will go.

Be grateful for what you have. If you come from a great home you are lucky. If you aren't from a great home, know that you are the person in charge of your life and with God's help amazing things can and WILL happen.

I miss my Mother and Father every day. I used to think I got screwed with losing them both so soon. Now I know they both did me a service beyond belief...made me into a strong woman and made me realize the power of not only prayer but perseverance.

The towers fell and it was devastating. What struck me even more was losing my last parent . When Diddy died it was like the second tower crumbling to the ground.

From destruction and chaos comes a calm when you believe. You build your life with your own building blocks. I was lucky to have two great engineers. If you don't have help, never be ashamed to ask for it. "Ask and ye shall receive."

One LUCKY Cotton and one really lucky LEACH...