Did They Have to Say "For Better or Worse?"

Today is my twentieth wedding anniversary. I just got home from work and passed Tim on the street as he was leaving for work. I flashed my lights at him in Morse code "Happy Anniversary " or maybe it was "S.O.S."







This first picture is how Tim looked when I first met him and began shoving him down the path of life...Thank the Lord he met me! He was newly divorced and recovering from having lost all his money to his ex.







I gave up my comfy one bedroom apartment that cost me $220 a month with all utilities included and moved in with him to try and help him keep his house...Now "OUR" house. I took my Rottweiler, Layla and started keeping cleaning and setting up house.


When I met Tim his son was only two and after two years Tim and I finally got married.

We wed at his parent's house in a nice outdoor wedding that I planned and with help from his parent's did the entire rehearsal dinner and reception myself.


Then we flew off to San Francisco for a week in the California sun. I had never been out west and it was the trip of a life time for me. We flew into Frisco and spent two days. Stayed one night in Sausalito and drove up to Sacramento to visit his mother I had never met. Tim's dad remarried when Tim was young and I had only met the step mom.


Meeting Tim's birth mom was a hoot. She is the total opposite of his step mom. An artist who after going through a terrible divorce moved to the west coast and started collecting dogs and cats to replace the six children she had to leave behind.

We all drove up to Tahoe and gambled for a day. We had to pull his mom off the Blackjack tables more than once...she is like me, always waiting for that BIG win.

Tim and I continued onto Sonoma for a couple of wonderful days in the wine country and traveled back down the Pacific Coast highway to fly out of Los Angeles...a pretty nasty city if you ain't rich (and we weren't.)



Back home to our first house and where I began my love of yard work. We had a Peach tree and an Apple tree in the front yard. They were building new houses around the corner from us and as they dug up the earth I went and loaded truck bed after truck bed of huge rocks to line the rose bushes in front of our house.

Then after a trip to Jamaica with some friends...Zach was planted in my belly. Tim was working for a bakery. He left the house at 3AM...I got home from working at Johnny's Pizza around 11Pm and our rotating life began. It always worked out great...Tim worked days and I worked nights. We rarely ever needed a sitter and he was a great caretaker. Then Massey came along and we continued our sharing of taking care of the kids. His son TJ (who I will always consider my oldest child) stayed with us on weekends and when we made the move to Newnan when Massey was one...he moved in with us full time shortly after.

After getting up at two AM got old Tim got a job with a freight company and started a long stretch in logistics.


By this time I had landed a job with Longhorn and also got a job as a lunch lady at the kid's elementary school (their lunchroom may never recover from my stint.)


For seven years I worked for the school Mon-Fri and for Longhorn Fri Sat Sun. The school job didn't pay squat but I was there with the kids and it was the best elementary school in the county. After seven years as room mom, PTA volunteer and eventually after school program assistant co ordinator , I threw in the towel when a nice new middle school was built that my kids were in the district for.


I went back to waiting tables full time and my salary tripled. Tim moved up to transportation manager and considering our meager beginnings...we were doing pretty darn well. We were closer to six figures between us than we had ever been and I thought we were pretty darn lucky. (Note to self...never THINK you are lucky.)


I don't know if it was the axe that fell or the economy...maybe a little of both.

After twenty two years it all came crashing down seemingly quicker than the blink of an eye.

After a year of total disaster and finding out how extremely important family and friends are...we are still here.

After twenty two years together, we are broker than we have ever been.

We are also more aware of what God can do, what loving family can provide and how truly wonderful friends can be.

Webster's describes it best. Life... "The physical, mental, and spiritual experiences that constitute existence."

"A particular segment of one's life."

"Human existence, relationships, or activity in general : real life."

I have had fifty years on this earth...the last twenty two have been with Tim.

The last year has been the worst of them all.

But to have a twenty one year run of "Good Times" certainly shouldn't overshadow twelve months of bad times.

I don't tell him enough...I use my 'angry face' WAY too often (that should just be used with my kids) and hope that he knows if I could do it all over again...I wouldn't do it with anyone else.


Tim has put up with my bossy, sassy 'GO GO GO' attitude for over twenty years and it has turned out to be just the mix that works for us.

I also looked up the word 'Love' in Webster's and found the true meaning of what Tim and I share... "A deep , tender feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship or a sense of oneness."


I don't tell him enough, I don't show him enough...but I think he knows it. It is what true love means. It isn't a word spoken but a feeling and a promise.




"For richer or poorer...until death do us part."

One bad year doesn't make a marriage...getting through it and moving ahead does.

I love you Tim... and love even more that you love me.

Let's just hope that the next twenty are easier, and if they aren't...so be it.


You're stuck with me and I couldn't imagine any other person I would want to grow old with. We have three good kids. They have all had their ups and downs...

But who hasn't?




Til next time...COTTON

PS You GOTTA click on these photos...even I was amazed at how we have changed. Just click on a photo to see us in our "Glory Days."