Number one...you HAVE to click on the photo before I go any further. Can you EVEN believe some woman had a "John Deere" wedding...complete with wading boots?Number two, although that IS my face it was photo shopped by a dear friend for my fiftieth birthday.
Number three...I wish I had known Johnny when I married Tim...he would have DEFINITELY been the best man (possibly the groom.)
After almost two weeks without Johnny, my yard looked like a really bad trailer park and the front of the subdivision seemed to welcome you to one .
My brother in law performed the surgery after I bought a new blade and a new pulley. The front of my subdivision is COVERED with hidden rocks and has been so rough on my mower that I am tempted to call the Home-Asses...I mean "Home owner's Association" and tell them I am not cutting the front three times a month for $40.00 anymore.
It cost me $100.00 to just get the parts and luckily my brother in law performed the surgery for free.
On Johnny's first day out of surgery I took it easy and just cut my yard and the ole geezer's next door. You never know how long it takes for that anesthesia to wear off!
He ran like a "Dear" and there were no mishaps.
I ventured to the front today...very apprehensive and very wary (of rocks.) I ended up using the weed eater more than I did my lawn mower. Thirty minutes on my mower and two and a half hours swinging a weed eater. So basically they are paying me LESS than minumim wage for doing this three times a month. I am going to call the "Treasurer" tomorrow and say "You let me know when you want the front cut and I'll do it for $40.00."
It was so hot out today that it made my hot flashes feel like a welcome breeze. I am beginning to feel my fifty years and beginning to realize the "Homeowner's ASS" is taking advantage of me and my baby..."Johnny D."
So I get lots of honks and cat calls...I also get cars screaming right by me so close I could slap their passenger in the face.
I am thinking about just cruising my "hood" and offering the older folks and lazy young folks a cut and trim for $25.00.
How much do you bet once the front grows above the subdivision sign...they call and re negotiaite?
I may end up sneaking up at night to keep it at least respectable...but this pittance they pay me (often two weeks after the cutting) is ridiculous.
Gotta take care of my "Man" first...not Tim..."Johnny." Tim knows I am having an affair...he is only jealous of the 32" blade and the fact that Johnny is deaf...Tim often wishes he was deaf being married to me.
Til next time..."Mower" to come...COTTON
1 comment:
GIRL ! You Need To Inform the B.B.B. (Better Buisness Bureau ), of This buncha OLD F**TS That are Taking Advantage of YOUR Fine Community Spirit !! They " Presume " that a Person may be Had for ' NEXT to NOTHIN' for their Labours in a Hot Thankless Florida Sun w / a " MISERABLE " Climate !! ( Its' much AKIN to a Client Leaving 25 cents for $ 50.00 Dollars Worth of SERVICE !! ) Scheesh ! Tell them...emphatically NO ! When they Attempt to "Pull " something Like this Again !! YEAH !!
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