Why Did I Wait So Long?

I just got home from work. It was a slow night...not that it matters at my new job.

As one of the cooks pointed out tonight..."It's quality here, not quantity."

I only had four tables all night but walked out the door with almost a hundred dollars in my pocket. The people that eat with us are there for great food and great wine and leave with the feeling that they have had their money's worth. I haven't gotten under 20% for a tip since I started and know that it will only get better as I feel more comfortable with my new job.

I thank the Lord every day for sending me to this restaurant and giving back my confidence as a server.

Tim has started a new full time job, Zach is passing all his classes and all his friends seem to like hanging out at my house. Massey has started therapy for her bum knee and my dogs are on YouTube. I am one lucky woman.

Friends and family and yes, even strangers helped us make it through to the 'other side' and is a most tremendous and welcome feeling of exhalation. I have been holding my breath and holding in my stress. I have aged ten years in the past ten weeks but feel the wheel of time slowing down and letting me catch up with it.

My husband has been my soul mate all along...we drifted for a while and squabbled when things got tense. We hung in there and by the grace of God and many others have finally seen the light and both need knee pads now from the major amount of time we have both spent on them praying for an answer.

One door was closed but a HUGE picture window opened and the sweet fresh air is filling our lungs and giving us the oxygen to move on and move up.

Even my dogs seem happier!

If it had just been me and Tim, we would have probably killed each other by this point. When you have kids the equation changes and takes on an entirely different sum.

You bring kids into the world, they didn't ask to be here but are here because of you. It is a tremendous responsibility to be a parent (if you do it right.) It is also one of the greatest blessings you can ever have. There will be great times, good times and even some bad times...but if you are a parent that it what it is all about.

Keeping your kids safe. Raising them to know right from wrong and leading from example.

I hope I have done alright in these critical areas.

I have tomorrow off again...it has been years since I have had two days off in one week. But still working nine shifts and the feeling of complete calm and reassurance makes it seem like I am working part time.

Working in the yards tomorrow and cutting the front of the sub division again. Nothing like a day doing yard work to make me feel relaxed and grateful to be one of the creatures taking care of the nature God has blessed us with.

Unfortunately Mr. (slow) Lee is out of town and won't be there to gawk at me on my John Deere but I will cut his yard anyway and pull weeds in my flower beds and make the entrance to our sub division a vision of "Delight" with my other best friend "Mr. Weed Eater."

You cannot imagine how relieving it is to feel good about yourself after such a dry spell and feel that you have made it back from the dark side.

I have so much to pay forward that it may become a full time job in itself...but that is fine by me.

I am just happy to be here, happy to feel good once again and still have the good fortune of being able to do what I can...make life happen one day at a time and make the most of every breath I take.

I've gotta start remembering my sunscreen. Tonight at work the young dishwasher who is a sweet Latino kid who knows Zach from school asked me "Why are you so dark when Zach is so white?"

I told him it is hard to get a tan in your bedroom... guess who might be pulling weeds with me tomorrow after school?

Til next time.. COTTON