This is a picture of me after I finished my shift today holding my tray. Don't let the good lighting fool you, it was a long shift!Actually it was almost laughable so I decided to share my story with you.
Lunch went smoothly, pretty busy for a snowy day but then it died around 2:00. That's when all the weirdos come out to eat. First off I went to greet a table...a couple in their late fifty's or early sixty's. They each had a cell phone stuck to one ear and had a finger plugging up their other ear. Neither one of them even looked up at me so I just stood there like a mime.
After about 20 seconds the woman got out a pen and started writing on the beverage napkin I had placed down for their (hopefully) soon to be ordered drinks.
Let me stop right here and say that cell phone etiquette is out of control. I won't even talk on mine if a cashier is ringing up my grocery order. I just feel like it is rude. Another thing I hate is when you are riding down the road behind someone...you are both clipping along just fine , then the driver in front of you starts talking on their cell phone and immediately their car slows down as they begin to chatter away. If you can't maintain your speed, you don't need to be talking while driving. What? Is it easier to listen at a slower rate of speed?
Okay back to the couple on their "Jitterbugs." Finally the man looks up at me and mouths the word "COKE." So I mouthed back "Yes sir." He then tapped his fingers on the table in front of his wife who was writing a novel on her bev nap. She looked up like she was irritated and said to whoever she was talking to "Hang on" and mouthed "Sweet tea." I mouthed the words "Be right back" and left the table.
Do they not know when they sit down at a table in a restaurant there is most probably going to be someone coming by pretty quickly to TAKE AN ORDER???
They stayed on their cell phones until the meal arrived... after both mouthing their orders to me.
I told another server that I felt like whipping my cell phone out of my back pocket while they were mouthing their order to me and holding up one finger to them and saying "Hello?" into my cell phone like I was getting an important call. Or I wished they had asked to talk to my manager and I could hand them my phone and say "Four on the speed dial."
At least after they finally both got off their phones the man DID say "I guess we were being really disrespectful there!" And you know what? That was all I wanted to hear. They were really a nice enough couple, I just don't get the whole concept. They should be telling the person on the phone they will call them back in a minute or tell THEM to hang on while they at least SPEAK to me!
Then it got almost comical. I was seated with an elderly couple and their son...the Dad was toting his oxygen tank with him and their grown son (at LEAST in his fifties) carried his mother's purse. Took them forever and a day to settle into their seats and then it began.
The older man ordered de caff coffee and so did the son. They ordered water for the lady who was shuffling off to the restroom on her walker at a snail's pace bless her heart. When she came back she asked where her coffee was and I asked if she wanted a cup...she was miffed at her men for leaving her out. I came back with her cup of joe and the older man asked for a glass of water. It took forever for them to order but I am used to that and at least they weren't on cell phones. She ordered something that wasn't even on the menu anymore...after trying to order something we haven't had in six months and didn't have the items it required to make in the restaurant. We had the items left in house to prepare the item she finally selected and the order was put in.
Another server ran the food to the table and came back to tell me the younger man wanted a glass of water. Okay...if we ALL want water, let me bring them all at the same time. They were short one straw and I went to fetch another one. They ate like it was their last supper and were putting off the inevitable. The older man was the first to ask for a to go box. I brought it back and packed up his left over shrimp for him. When I got through doing that, the son said with a very irritating nasally voice "I don't know why he didn't tell you we need two more small boxes." I said it wasn't a problem and went to get two more small boxes. When I came back with the two boxes the woman said "Well if I put my salad in THIS box and my son puts his steak in THAT box, where will I put my crab gratin?" I told her I would be glad to go and get another box to put her gratin in and even wrap them up another loaf of bread to go with their meals.
When I came back and packed THAT up, the son said his mother wanted a to go cup. I asked if she wanted me to make her a coffee to go and she said she really wanted to drink it there but hers was cold. Dang! Who's fault is that? Did I tell her NOT to drink it while it was hot or did I tell her to let it SIT and get cold? I cheerfully (and I meant it) that I would bring her a fresh cup of hot coffee to drink at the table. I brewed another fresh pot (they had drank the entire pot I had made for them.) This only took two minutes and I brought the ole gal a steaming cup of fresh de caff to enjoy at the table.
On my way back through the dining room the father was shuffling off to the restroom dragging his oxygen tank with him and stopped me to say his wife needed a go cup for her coffee... "We got to get up on outta here quick like."
I took a to go cup to the table and asked the woman if she wanted me to pour it in the Styrofoam cup for her? She peered up at me as her son was answering his loudly ringing cell phone with that horrible rotary dial ring tone that I detest. The volume was up so loud on his phone he may have just been better off using a tin can with a really long string and just 'holler' to the other person.
The woman asked me if I was kicking her out? I told her her husband was kicking her out and had stopped to ask me for a to go cup for her coffee. I told them I would bring them a bag to put all their boxes in and went to fetch it. I came back to the table and began packing up their boxes when the son with that 'nasal' sound said "Well...we ain't all going to the same place but I reckon we can get it all separated when we get there." I went to get another bag...with a spare one to tie over my head and face if they asked for ONE MORE THING. They paid with a gift card and I told them they had seven dollars left on the card and told them which copy to sign.
When I went back to the table as they were shuffling out the front door there was no sign of the check, the black book I had put it in or even my pen I had left them. I just was grateful the bill had been paid and they were gone without any last requests.
At least I ended my day with a good laugh as I told my co workers about the prank Ashton Kutcher obviously "PUNKED" me with. Ashton never appeared, my tip never showed up... but I guess I made three people as happy as I could and my day was almost over.
Tuesdays are my good days... working with two of my favorite servers. I was starving and told Terri that I wanted to split a Parmesan Chicken with her...MY treat. She said she hadn't made much money and I said she could buy the next time. After we ate like pigs I bossed her around for about thirty minutes getting her to do most of the side work it takes for us to leave. Nothing like having someone owe you to get a lot of free work out of them!
After I finally thought she had earned her half of the Parmesan Chicken we let her leave.
I waited until I knew she was in her car and called her cell phone. When she answered I told her we were out of bleu cheese dressing and would she mind coming back and getting me another pan of it out of the little fridge we keep it in? I could her hear laughing from a mile away! Nothing is funnier to me than beating a dead horse so I called her back in five minutes and told her we needed more ice and the sweet tea urn was empty.
God bless the old people...ya gotta love 'em and good friends... Where would I be without them?
Just thought you might want to hear about life in the workplace...at least I HAVE a workplace!
Til next time... Comic Cotton
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