My Day Off...Zach's Monday !

Frances asked me a week or so ago if Zach could come clean up her yard...clear fallen limbs and pick up roofing scraps left from when she had her new roof put on. Of course I told her he would be happy to do it. Lucky Frances doesn't know...he hasn't been happy about anything in 3 years.

I told Zach about it then but he seemed to think that the idea had gone away until I woke him this morning to tell him "This is the DAY."

Lucky for him I fell right back to sleep. I got up around 1:30 and checked the temperature...perfect yard work weather.

I pulled him off his "Thinky" computer game and dragged him kicking and screaming out to the car. (Not really...he sulked his way out to the car as slow as humanly possible.)

Don't get me wrong...He LOVES Frances, he just hates me bossing him around.

I told him on the way, as he peered forlornly out the passenger window to remember when he got there that he was mad at me and not Frances.



It took him a whopping hour to get the job done and on top of that Frances gave him ten bucks. On the way home he begged for McDonald's and said his back hurt ( cry baby, cry baby, suck yo thumb.)

Had to go by the high school where Massey was practicing, go pick up Zach's friend to spend the night and help deplete the food supply in our house and came home and started cleaning.

I don't mind clutter (well I do, but I can live with it) but when dust builds up like an inch snowfall on the tables pictures and computer desk, it kinda grosses me out.

I cleaned every picture with Windex...and I have a LOT of pictures...Murphy's Oil soaped all the wood and caught my laundry up to only one basket left dirty. I swear Murphy's Oil Soap is like a miracle cleaner...especially when you have three big dogs shaking off their winter fur every time you say their name.

All I have left is to vacuum...the bulldog REALLY loves that! I have to lock him in TJ's room before I even get the Hoover out of the laundry room.

Oh, he THINKS he's a bad ass...but if I actually turn it on you would think he had five dogs chasing him as he scrambles up the stairs on those little white sticks he calls legs.

Massey is home now...so I can give up on cleaning.

She is a cyclone within herself. She makes Pig Pen look like a neat freak with OCD and allergies.

She'll be gone in the morning to her competition and then MY competition will begin...how much crap can I stuff into a garbage bag without her ever missing ? I'll bet A LOT!!

"Ladies and gentleman...we have a winner. Mrs. Cotton took five 30 gallon bags of trash and crap out of her daughter's room and when her daughter came home, didn't notice ONE thing out of place or missing...we may think this is a NEW record!"

"I'd FIRST like to thank Dollar General for their cheap 30 gallon trash bags. I'd also like to thank the Goodwill for taking ANYTHING I give them. I would also like to thank Titan Sanitation for picking up cork boards, old lava lamps and any other crap I have left on the street on a Tuesday night. It's thanks to people like you that I have won this competition...won this race and cleaned out the most disgusting room I have ever seen or had to walk by on a daily basis."

Unfortunately I will have to start my race for the prize all over again as soon as "Katrina" gets back from competition.

She better be mighty glad that she is an "A/B" student...cause she is at best a "D" room cleaner.

Zach recovered from his horrific physical exertion with minimal damage...even said he wouldn't have done it for anybody but "Franny."

Maybe Frances has room for Zach AND Massey...the three dogs can stay here, they rarely ever talk back.

Til next time....Talkin' trash Cotton