Stupid "BOYS" !!!

I was at work tonight , training a new hire when around 9:00 the host said I had a phone call. I knew immediately that it was Massey. I had rushed out of the house for work and left my cell phone (AKA "Life Line").

She generally texts me about four times a shift and ALWAYS for something important...ie

can u get me som twizzlers? guard girl

my tummy REALLY hurts :( guard girl

bobby pins, fruit cup and shaving cream:) guard girl

r u wokin late? ;/ guard girl

r u almost done ? :( guard girl


I love my daughter and she is my best friend, but I have never had a 'needier' best friend. At least she is a good girl and makes those grades for me.

I answered the phone to hear a pitiful tiny voice say questioningly..."mama?"

I asked if she was crying and she sobbed out 'yes' as she "pretend" hyperventilated at the same time. (my drama queen)

She said that she had sent me a text asking if she cleaned her room could she go home from dance camp tomorrow with Courtney.

Number one, I don't think she even remembers HOW to clean her room. I threaten and growl, and sometimes when I walk by and say "It's still not clean"...she will reply "But it looks a little better doesn't it?"

So after she sent the first text to me (not knowing I had left my cell at the house) my 16 year old son picked up my cell in the kitchen and texts her back saying "no. u r grounded"

Of course she sent right back "WHY"????????????????????????????????

Then my son (the comedian) texts back and says "i am sic of ur attitude and ur room is never clean"

I think that the reason she got so upset is that she knows those facts to be true, although I would have never done it in "text" language and I know how much it would hurt her already extremely 'sensitive' side...plus even though she lives like a little pig in her "domain" at least she does well in school and is very involved in anything she can talk me into signing (kiting) a check for.

When I came in the door from work, "Zack Benny" was watching TV in the den. I asked him if he thought that was funny what he had done to his sister and his reply was "Hilarious".

I let it go for the time being, but when I came downstairs with a load of laundry I guess he felt guilty because he remarked that her room was still a mess anyway . I told him the only reason that his room stayed neat is because he doesn't move any further than the remote control from the PS3 will allow him, thus keeping his "dirty" area to a four foot radius. I told him I had twice shortened the controller cord hoping to minimize the mess to an even smaller area.

I seriously told him that even with her many flaws...his sister did the ONE thing that I sincerely ask and want from my kids. DO GOOD IN SCHOOL.

BINGO!!! I got him. He said he would get up in the morning to cook breakfast for Massey before she went to dance camp and would apologize for his prank.

Then he went on to tell me that our male boxer had a tick on his eye and that he had sliced half of it off with a Swiss Army knife (he couldn't find the tweezers or wait for me to get home obviously).

I am surprised that my dog even still has an eye ball. This is the same Swiss Army knife that he slit his wrist with trying to open a controller for the wii the day after Christmas when his idiot Uncle gave him the knife as a present.

Now I have the pleasure of holding down a 100 lb dog while trying to pluck off the other half of the tick from his eye before it causes an infection.

My sister's son who is 27 is still living at home and Zach is sitting here doing nothing. I told Cin that they could load up his push mower and I would throw in my weed eater and blower and they could be gypsies traversing the county in search of lawns to mow. They are both close anyway, Zach adores his cousin and I told Cin they might end up being room mates one day. I told her what worried me ... would they want to be room mates in her house or ours?

Let me go find my tweezers to eradicate the bloodsucker living on my dog's eyelid, push through some more laundry and wake up tomorrow to do it all again.

HEY! At least life is never dull in our house.

I hope that Zach remembers the quote "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". If Massey is the girl that I think I know....LOOK OUT ZACH !!!!

Til next time......COTTON