In the Words of My Daughter.."OMG"

What a day! I went into work at 10:30...expecting to get off around 3:00. I didn't leave until 5:00.

Not that it was a BAD thing. I was glad we were busy and that another server wanted to leave early and I got to stay. Thank the Lord for co workers without kids!

I had the 'attack of the dummies' right from the start.

My first table, all males wanted to know what we had fat free in our restaurant. I replied, "Pretty much, ME". I went through all of the salads that we serve...a long list in itself...telling them about the way they could leave off seasoning and dressings or have dressing on the side. Then one of the men...who had been staring at the menu in his hands for ten minutes said "How about a chef salad, do you have that?"

I just looked at him with my "mommy' stare and he said "I guess not."

They all ordered burgers dripping with Bleu cheese or Parmesan chicken that has the the highest fat content other than a fat back and bacon sandwich. When I asked if they wanted bread, they replied "Two loaves please."

My next table, of ladies this time asked me what I knew about how many weight watcher points were included in this item or that.

I replied..."Do I really look like a person that is counting weight watcher points?" (currently I weigh 95 lbs) . At least she laughed and I went to get another server that WAS on weight watcher to tell me what to recommend. They ignored all suggestions and ate like it was their last meal on earth.

Then I had a guy by himself...weighing no less than 300 lbs. He ordered a chop steak dinner with a sweet potato with butter, extra butter and cinnamon sugar with a side of brown sugar and added a 7oz portion of salmon and an order of shrimp scampi. He started out with a bowl of shrimp and lobster chowder that has enough calories to choke an elephant, and what do ya know?...He ordered a diet coke! Slurped down three before his meal arrived.
When I took his feast out, I asked what else I could bring him and he replied "More butter."

I almost felt like saying..."If there was one guy on the planet that I thought would ask me for more butter, I would probably place my bet on you...and why don't I bring you TWO sides of butter and a Camel unfiltered to enjoy after your light lunch?"

He was really nice, I hate to make a joke...but it is just too obvious. How can these people "ACT" like they care about calories and content and go on to order amounts of food that a starving child would share with twenty others?

Such is the life of a server...an observer of human nature and a foot servant of the masses.

I still love my job, probably because I need it so badly...but to hear the "BS" that flows out of their mouth is sometimes almost too much and if they only knew who they were talking to...they would re think their stupid and inane questions and "JUST ORDER LUNCH."

Til the Next time..COTTON