Sunday, November 17, 2013

Dang My House Smells Great!

It's no mansion but it's ours and will be paid off in a little over three short years.

I used to keep  the yards immaculate but working so much lately, have let them slip a bit. I still mowed  the yards and trimmed them with the weed eater but the days of pulling weeds for hours on end fell to the wayside. I've always worried more about the outside of my house, mainly because neighbors driving by can't see the inside, and when it looks real bad inside,  won't answer  the door unless you have a no knock search warrant.

Lately it's been looking REAL bad. My hundred day work week pretty much demanded house work be put on the back burner and just focused on making it into work every day.  It helped  that Massey left for college in August and it was just me, Tim, Zach and the three pups here. Most males could care less what a house looks like on the inside as long the TV, refrigerator and microwave work...lucky for me, mine did.

The laundry got done but rarely folded and mostly sat piled in baskets.  The only clothes I needed for a hundred days were my work uniforms, underwear and a towel.

Around thirty days in, I learned quite a few tricks for a working mom. NEVER turn on an overhead light, especially if it is florescent. Always have tea light candles to burn tarts from Yankee Candle and buy store brand Febreeze in bulk.

 Sometimes Zach  would get a wild hair (or maybe a dog hair in his mouth) and do some vacuuming.

The dishes got done, but only when the boys ran out of cereal bowls. It seems to never occur  to men to clean sink traps, I thought maybe they were saving up enough food for a meal and let it go.

The bathrooms were the worst.

Number one, Zach and Tim have had penises their entire lives but obviously never mastered the craft of a direct aim. Number two,(no pun intended) I've never had a penis but pretty sure if I did,  I could hit a bowl over a foot in diameter less than two feet away. I just started peeing in the dark so as not to notice  their poor shooting skills.

The showers were even less of a problem. Zach had his own bathroom and if he didn't mind showering in a cesspool, who was I to stop him? I did keep my garden  tub pretty semi / clean since I am the only one who uses it but Tim's shower stall turned into a horror house. If I had to use it when I was running late for work (more often  than not) I felt like wearing  flip flops and would have, if Ziggy hadn't chewed up every pair I owned.

So this past week, after working every single day since mid August I had three glorious days a row!

Number one (again) I slept twelve hours straight. Number two (again) I bought a really big bottle of cheap Pinot Noir, and got my scrubbing groove on. I had plenty of cleaning products since I hadn't cleaned the  house in a hundred days.

It was a daunting task but have never been one to shy away from a challenge. I started with  the thing I hate most...laundry. What's the deal with socks and how do they always get lost? I folded all  the laundry in baskets, folded all the laundry piled on the dressers and put all of it away.

Now we're getting somewhere!

Got all crazy and pulled sheets and comforters. Even washed the pillows. (although when I was little momma always said to lay them in the grass outside overnight) I'll have to Google that wives tale.

Number three: Mr. Clean Magic Erasers are the bomb dot com. I cleaned walls and I cleaned baseboards. I didn't actually move any furniture  but the spots you  can see look great. I cleaned doors and I cleaned window sills. I used four the first day.

Cold weather is rearing its ugly head here in the deep south so it's time to switch  the ceiling fans from  blowing down to up. Lesson  learned, never do  it until you clean the blades.

I cleaned my vacuum cleaner after every  room I vacuumed. I sprinkled Arm & Hammer Pet Odor over all the carpets  and the results were astounding. (and embarrassing)

The more I cleaned the more I saw that needed to be cleaned. Let's clean this window, let's clean this door, let's clean this  intake vent and let's clean this furniture.

I was in the mode and the mode felt great. After five hours I  quit smelling dogs and  that was another inspiration.

So I'm a hard working woman, I'll accept that label but  I've been a terrible wife and mother. My momma would have fainted if she had witnessed  the despair I had left the inside of my house in.

Lucky for me I only live with men now and are all straight. A gay man would have fired me on the spot.

It took me over three days to get my house over/semi clean but looks and smells wonderful.

Even my three dogs look happier.

Here's the big thing. When my kids were younger I would give them chores. They always did a half a** job but at least  MY job was half done after they attempted theirs.

I came home from work today and felt wonderful to walk into a house that didn't stink.

So I was a crappy house keeper for three months, but the house is still here and on top of it all I cooked a fabulous meal. Tim put the roast in the crock pot when I left for work this morning and I came in (home) as the pinch hitter and made gravy, rice and corn muffins and even threw together a green bean casserole.

All's good here at  the Cotton Compound. The house is looking and smelling clean, I've drafted yet another letter to UGA about Ham and his eye surgery and waiting for a reply.

It's nice to not gag when you walk in the door...just saying.

Til next  time...COTTON

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