I used to be at a point where I felt guilty for taking a day off, but the feeling was totally justified..."I couldn't afford to so I didn't."
It's not like we're suddenly rich...but after over two years of totally and completely struggling it feels wonderful to have one day off a week. I was almost at my breaking point and for what? So what I take one day off...will it change the past two years? Will it make us millionaires if I work 18 days in a row? The answer would be "No" and "No."
I have been helped by SO many that my once total embarrassment turned quickly to gratitude and turned again to Thanking God so many people loved me and my family. I realized I wasn't pitiful (although I felt that way) but in fact I was an extremely lucky woman. I guess I felt that if all these people were doing so much for me, how could I (with any kind of conscience) take a day off?
My sister helped me to come to the realization that working week after week without a day off wasn't going to change our situation ...but may in fact kill me.
Well THAT one got me thinking! I made a resolution to take one day off a week. I kind of slipped the first two weeks in January but have already had one day off and will have another on Wednesday.
I look in the mirror every day and seem to be aging more rapidly than I would like but it still beats the alternative.
Got home from work tonight at 11 PM. I manually shut the garage door that Zach broke the opener for years ago and fumbled my way over to the kitchen door. It's always unlocked, we have 200lbs of dog living in our house, you ain't robbing us unless you want old, used crap or want to get tore slap up by two dogs.
I turned the knob and the dogs started barking. It was locked. As my Diddy would say"For Pete's sake!" I turned my cell phone on so I could see to put my house key into the door knob but when I did I heard the door knob fall off into the kitchen floor on the inside of the house. (I heard Charlie bark at it)
I swear I live in a cartoon! I went back and pulled up the fifty pound garage door and went around to the front door to let myself in. The dogs met me as I shut the front door.
I am meeting a dear friend from the Western Sizzler I used to work for at Mama Lucia's on my day off for lunch. In Clampett fashion I am dragging Massey and Zach with me. I have a free meal once a month with another half price meal for a guest. It will be cheaper than ordering pizza to be delivered and be three times as good.
Coming home and finishing scaring off all the cob webs and dust bunnies. Cleaning the bath rooms and ceiling fans. Cleaning baseboards I have totally forgotten I had and even cooking dinner late when Tim gets off.
It may seem insignifiscant but one day a week is all I need to keep on keeping on. I have always been a work horse (Tim tells me they call that a bitch...or maybe that's just what he calls me... and I can't much blame him.)
Tomorrow will be great. Meeting Miss Donna for lunch, letting my kids entertain her and coming HOME! Cleaning, fluffing and getting things back to normal...if NORMAL can ever be used to describe my life!
Even if I had the chance I wouldn't change a thing. It's my life. It was in the cards. We played our hand, our family raised and my friends matched.
I'm still taking a day off on Wednesday and feel pretty pumped!
It's getting better, it's getting much better, it's not getting ALL CAPS better but it's getting better.
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