Momma Comes Home

It seems unreal that I was only gone for less than two and a half days. It felt like a week that flew by too quickly. I was in such need of a break that I was so grateful for what short time I had. Left all five males at home and screeched out of the driveway before anyone woke on Sunday morning and stayed gone til late Tuesday night.
I had a ball with Massey and my friends treated us like royalty (no wonder Massey stayed there almost a month!)

Got home late last night after driving through a horrendous storm In Montgomery. Seventy MPH winds and lightening that scared even me, the weather freak.

Woke up this morning and took stock of the house...didn't take long.
Out of the three bathrooms there wasn't one sheet of toilet paper...not even those last two  that stick to the cardboard tube. There was no garbage bag in the kitchen trash can. There was a small Kroger bag in the bottom of the can and five pounds of trash crammed into it and empty milk jugs and cereal boxes on top of it.
 I had lined the trash can with the last bag before I left but thought they would realize you have to go to the store for them...a fairy doesn't put them under the sink at night.
"My Bad."

I can tell you every thing they ate. Not that they left it in pots on the stove,  but in the random Spaghettio obviously stuck to the countertop for at least two days and bread crumbs from where they made sandwiches (the knife in the sink with dried up mayo and mustard on it helped solve that one.) The paper towel dispenser was empty...there was a new roll in the pantry. Stains on the counter where they mixed more pink lemonade. At least I know they ate and had something to drink.

The empty toothpaste tube in each bathroom was  rolled more times than my hated high school principal's lawn. You can roll it as tight as you want but if it's empty...it's empty. Guess they thought there was a fairy for that too.

I asked Zach what they had been doing and he said "We been living on nothin' mom."

I was broke as a bad joke and shouldn't have even gone on this jaunt but just needed to  get away. Came back with a dollar to spare and a house  even sparer.

I got in my car and drove to work under the pretense of checking my schedule. Asked Barb if she had been saving me the low rolls of toilet paper from the restaurant's rest rooms and she gave me six small rolls. It might not be Charmin but it gets the job done (huge pun.) Snagged one garbage bag on my way out  promised myself I would work extra hard to compensate for my petty theft and headed back home.

The dishwasher was full. It was the load I started before I left (at least they were clean.) The sink was full of dishes. It wouldn't have been full if males knew to stack  bowl on top of  bowl, plate on top of plate ... not stack them "Glass, bowl, plate, frying pan, silverware, three quart boiler....repeat process."
The towels I had folded before I left were still in a basket downstairs but giving them their due, it looked like a new load of clothes  sat still wet in the dryer.

I suppose left to their own devices for  longer periods of time  men would finally figure it out...like the guy did that invented the wheel after the last strong cave woman in the dragging group died from complete exhaustion.

We now have toilet paper thanks to Barb and toothpaste thanks to me (I bought some in Florida because there was none at the house to take with me.)
It's gotta  be a dropped gene.

There will someday be a special pin , sign or insignia for being  male...kinda like a "Cause."
We have Breast cancer awareness, pet advocates, special Olympics and one day "Men."

I will have to say they have all been exceptionally nice to me...especially when I made sub sandwiches for lunch before I went into work before 4PM.

More about my fantastic trip in my next blog... just so baffled at what I found when I got home that I decided to blog about them first. That's just how I am, "I'm a giver!"

Til next time.....Caretaker Cotton