Don't Turn The Wipers On!!

Sometimes you are the windshield...sometimes you are the bug on the windshield.

Guess my maiden name came in handy tonight...because I was DEFINITELY the bug on the windshield.

I worked this morning and it was slow as Aunt Jemimah's syrup. I didn't get off til almost four and had to be back by 5:30. I left and had to take Massey a sandwich at the high school where she was helping out with Guard stuff. She told me she was in the old gym. I went to the old gym and they told me she was in the band room. I drove to the band room and they told me she had just left to go to the old gym.

It was already getting OLD to me but I got back in my car and drove back around the school, which is the size of a small college campus. I found her there, smiling and happy to see her sandwich. It didn't occur to her I had wasted fifteen minutes just trying to find her...but as usual she was all smiles and I quickly forgot what a pain in the boo-tay she can be.

I went home with 30 minutes to spare. Swept the kitchen floor (never, NEVER own 3 dogs in Winter) loaded the dishwasher that is too complicated of a contraption for anyone to understand but a Mom. Made Zach a sandwich, just because I had Made Massey one and now he was home too.

Tim was having car issues (let's just pile it on) so I had Zach drive me back to work so Tim could drive my car to work at 10:00.

All the while I was counting on that $150.00 I make every Friday night.

Hmmm....

It started out with a bang but died early and I was cut after a frantic two hours.

I made good tips ..just not enough of them. When you are a server for a living, your shift is your pay check.

Not ten minutes after I got cut we got another pop. I had already thrown in the towel and was just helping others when the new girl at work passed me with a look in her eyes like she had Charles Manson chasing her.

She had picked up two of my tables that had been seated since I had been cut, in addition to her own set of tables.

She is cute and young (they are ALL young compared to me). I could tell from her frantic face she needed help.

I ran some food to her table and they remarked "Gee, that was fast... we haven't even had our salads yet".

They were very nice, a young couple...and I told them I would get them some bread and their salads.

This server was so overwhelmed. I know she was because even at the age of fifty I have BEEN there. In restaurant speak we call it "In the weeds". It means you are so busy that you can't seem to find your way out of the weeds. You lose sense of time and direction. It is a horrible feeling but one that EVERY server has experienced.

I helped her out a little and after ten minutes of being in the 'Server time warp' she regained her composure.

She just started a few weeks ago.

One of the first days she was there someone mentioned my blogging to her and talked about the blog where I gave everyone nicknames or characters. She asked me what HER nickname was and I told her I would have to think about it.

After all settled down and I helped everyone else make money...I went up to her and said "Well you made it. You finally earned your nickname".

She was still a little shell shocked from being thrown into the line of fire (the ONLY way to learn).

I said "We'll call you 'Weeds'."

I think it will stick.

When she went back to the young couple who I had helped her out with, they mentioned they had both been servers in college and knew she was in the weeds.

Can I call it or WHAT? It's a gift...Tim calls it my PHD in BS.

Had to bum a ride home from another server since Tim had my car.

Walked in the house tonight, already dejected about being the bug on the windshield and went into the bathroom off the kitchen to discover I was also Josephine the Plumber.

How hard is it to push a suction cup on a stick up and down a few times in rapid motion to make a problem disappear?

My kids prefer to close the toilet lid...like it's some kind of magic trick. They'll come back when they HAVE to use the restroom wearing a cape and waving a wand.

They'll tap on the lid three times with their wand and "WA LA"... "Mom came home".

If my life wasn't so funny, it would be sad.

So I didn't make much money tonight. It was more than I left the house with.

I gave a new server a new nick name...and trust me it'll stick whether she like it or not!

Yesterday Tim and I bit the bullet and decided to write a new chapter in our lives. We are beginning with Chapter 17.

I hate it but I also feel a tremendous sense of relief.

Our mortgage company has taken us on a year long trip of "What If" too many times.

Now we will keep our home, with our stopped up toilet and our muddy kitchen floor because of the pups. I can once again answer the phone hanging on the kitchen wall and know that in a few short years all will be said, done and paid for.

Yes I am fifty...but as I sat in the attorney's office yesterday looking at my husband who is two years younger than me and now completely gray I know we made the right decision.

I don't even look in the mirror anymore. I know I am skinny, but that doesn't mean I look good.

I think I will start writing my life story now ...to me it has been amazing, devastating, rewarding and eye opening.

I think I will call it "Chapter 18".

Til next...after I wake up and work the consignment sale at the high school til 3 and go into work again at 4...to make up for last night....

It could be worse...but it's gonna be better.

COTTON