Thursday, January 24, 2013

I Think I'd Freeze Without Hot Flashes

It was fifty three degrees here in JawJa...tolerable by my standards. As soon as the sun starts to drop so does the thermometer. I get off around ten and by then, it's too cold for  this skinny gal. I go to the grocery store (another place too cold for me) and by  the time I get home my feet are freezing. I think when my family hears my car pull in the garage they all scramble for their bedrooms and  turn out their lights. I come in the kitchen door to drop my groceries and am greeted by  three pups who's faces say "Take us out please."

I zip my jacket up all the way and head out back with the "Hounds of Bowel'sville."

Here's the thing. If it was just Ham and Charlie, I could simply open the door and let them go out. With Ziggy, opening the back door is like saying "Hurry! Go find another way out of the yard and try to do it in under thirty seconds."

The minute I open the door, Ziggy literally "SPRINGS" out the door and leaps over the muddy  patch right by  the patio and with his black coat is invisible in  five seconds.

I have enough chicken wire stapled across the top of  our back fence to keep Andre the Giant in but Ziggy easily leaps over six feet high (with grace I might add) and takes off through  the woods. Sometimes he'll stay in the back yard for hours. Sometimes he's out of it in under ten seconds.

During the day time I take my chances but at night  have to walk out back with them to keep from having to search  the neighborhood for him. Like  the cartoon  says "I wasn't made for Winter."

I worked on the fence for an hour today, adding layer after layer of chicken wire and came inside to make lunch  for Zach and me before I had to go to work. I took my lunch in the living room because General Hospital was on and Port Charles is really messed up right now ... there is nothing I love more than a Soap Opera Train Wreck. I told Zach to sit at  the kitchen table and watch the dogs out the back window,  making sure Ziggy didn't go all "Houdini" on us again.

He hollers from  the kitchen just as things got really crucial in  Port Chuck, "He looks like he's trying to get out!" I hollered back "Go open the back door and call him." Zach replied with  another holler "I just wanna see where he's getting out this time...OH There he goes, Damn that dog can jump high!"

%$@*!

I went out the garage door to call Ziggy and Tim was pulling in from work, he went in at four AM so he got off early. I handed him  the leash and told him it was his turn to find the Hopping Houdini.

He walked around the front yard and our neighbor's yard then came back and leashed up Ham  to help him look. Talk about "The blind leading the blind!"

 I gave them  ten minutes,  then  got my car keys out and went looking too. The school bus had just pulled in our neighborhood and I was worried  about the school traffic on the main road by our house. We have an elementary school right around the corner from us.

I got home fifteen minutes later and Ziggy  was sacked out in the kitchen floor, worn out from his adventure. Tim said they came across  him coming out of  the woods behind our house as he circled them going about thirty miles per hour jetting off every time Tim tried to catch him. Finally worn out he followed Tim and Ham home.

I walked into the kitchen and Zach said "Can't we just quit looking for him when he runs off?"

Well any other person probably would but I am a freak of nature and for some reason love  the little idiot.

So I get home tonight from work, freezing in my ninety five pound body and know for sure the little idiot most probs has been inside since I left for work. He leaped out the back door like an antelope and I leaped out right behind him. I followed him to the back fence and as he turned to look at me I swear I  think I heard him say "You always ruin every  thing!"

We have a forecast for freezing rain and sleet on Friday. I'll tell ya one thing...Ziggy  will be walked on a leash. I don't do chasing in  slushy conditions.

He better be glad we chase  him at all!

Putting on my PJ's and turning in.

The only thing good about cold weather IS hot flashes..."True That!"

Til next  time...COTTON


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