Thursday, November 8, 2012

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

It's been a good week...gotta keep reminding myself of that. I have lots of people wanting to help with Ham's eyes. Got a check in the mail today that will cover his assessment with the specialist and get the ball rolling. A blog reader I have never met and who lives in a different state read my blog about Ham getting lost at  night and promptly offered to cover his initial visit. (Thank you Jerry and Dee)

It's also been a bad week. Every night at work has been slow and tips even worse. That's the catch 22 about waiting tables. If you desperately NEED money you can't count on it until you actually are counting it into your pocket. I'm $300 under what I usually make by  this point in my work week  and it depresses the crap out of me. I had all kinds of plans for that $300. Pay the greedy Verizon giant get some groceries for the house and help Tim with gas money. The cell phones got cut off yesterday and somehow, someway I lost thirty dollars out of my work apron last night. I left work with the pitiful forty dollars I managed to make staying  til an hour after closing. Of course my gas light came on when I got in my car so I went to Kroger and paid for ten bucks worth thinking that would leave Tim twenty for gas and ten for milk and breakfast food. I pumped the gas and came straight home. It was gone this me, Tim looked for gas money and my apron was empty. I've torn the car apart and quizzed the kids. It was windy and cold last night as I pumped gas in my work skirt and was hurrying...can I really be so stupid?

This morning I woke Zach up and asked him to ride with me to the animal shelter where the mobile clinic visits every Thursday. I was going to take Ham today to the eye specialist but not on ten bucks of I decided to schedule for next  week and go get his shots updated. He has to be up to date on shots for surgery and although I plan to every week I run out of money by Thursday.

 Then I talked to a co worker who's story makes mine look like a fairy tale.  Her husband lost a $200,000 a year job and they are in jeopardy of having their beautiful vintage home off  the town square in Newnan auctioned off on  the courthouse steps. They have scrambled like we have and also have dogs like us. They took their dogs to the mobile clinic for shots and medicine and when her husband asked them to just hold the check for a day they said just pay when they could.

Sounds like MY kind of clinic! I loaded up Ham and Ziggy...I felt bad taking all three and Zach and I headed over. We  got there and an old skinny woman (no it wasn't my twin sister) handed us a form to fill out. It had different packages and I noted the ones Ham and Ziggy needed were both $35. I looked up at the woman and said "I'm broke as a joke and don't have any money  today."  She said to take the form with us and come back at a later date.

I went home and called my co worker.  She said I should have just filled out the form, checked  what I needed and waited til the vet called to see my dogs...then tell him I couldn't pay today but could post date a check or send him a money order.

I must be slipping in my desperation. I've never been one to give up and should have known better than to take "No" from the woman just handing out forms. I have Ham scheduled for next  Thursday morning at 8 with the specialist. I will take him immediately from his assessment to the mobile clinic and barge my way through to the vet.

I picked up a shift earlier this week, picked up today on my day off and will pick up as many shifts as I can til Ham can see. I shouldn't have given in so easily today at the humane society, and it certainly isn't like me.

I must keep remembering desperate times call for desperate measures and that it's amazing what can happen if you just keep  trying.

Always remembering my "Pay it forward" I  have volunteered  to help a friend move out of an apartment and abusive relationship tomorrow. At least she gave me gas money  to get there and if I have to...I'll kick his sorry  A** too.

Sometimes it's hard to stay positive.  I usually always go to bed late, and those are the hours when I do my best thinking and rationalizing. I think about how my life has changed so dramatically. We used to go out and buy whatever we needed... now we worry how we will get by with what we have.

There's not enough Duct Tape in the world to fix us but there IS enough love and Karma.

If I keep on keeping on and paying forward...everything will work out. I keep reminding myself of the millions and millions less fortunate than me. The ones without a roof over their heads or a hat ON their heads as winter blows in. I am typing on a computer...they would be happy to snuggle up in a corner of my garage with the wind off  of  them. They would be happy to simply have ANY roof over their head.

Waking up early to help my friend and pay it forward. At least my husband isn't a cheater or abusive...that would REALLY suck. At least my life sucks in a loving environment and  have so many people loving me that it is almost embarrassing.

I am truly blessed and  need to ALWAYS remember that.

Thanks to every one for helping with Ham. Thanks to God for helping me...simply said "THANKS!"

Til next  time...COTTON

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