So THAT'S How It's Gonna Be...

I am a little upset with my next door husband.



The guy that lives next door to me is a mechanic for the airlines and has saved our butt so many times that it is not even funny...even to me.



The family that lived in their house before them was a strange bunch. They were nice enough but the dad had a temper that was unbelievable. How many times do you want to hear a father scream out "God *&@# son ... you're doing it wrong!" They were very, very conservative. I bet the dad has a pin up of Sarah Palin in his garage...next to his double wide photo of Rush Limbaugh hugging Bill O'Reilly.



When my youngest son was in first grade he asked the next door neighbor's son what "gay" meant? I guess he had heard it in school or on TV. My neighbor's son told Zach that it meant "Sick love between two boys." I was outraged.



New family moved in...HUGE sigh of relief. The best thing the last family did for us was when Tim pushed our lawn mower over to see if the husband could fix it and he told Tim it was out of gas. Brings back "Slingblade" memories doesn't it? "Ain't got no gas."



My new next door neighbor was married when he moved in, but went through a divorce...after fixing the heating element in my oven, helping to replace my dishwasher and fixing my car at least three times. His wife probably said she was sick of me and had to leave.



I kept waiting for him to build the Great Wall of China between our houses but he didn't so I kept on calling when I had to. I have gotten pretty good at figuring things out on my own. I love my husband but he needs help changing the toilet paper (maybe not that but you get my drift.)



I don't know my neighbor's political views...he doesn't hang them out there like a flag like my former neighbor did...but I love him either way.



I started calling him my 'Next Door Husband' a few years back...after I chased his wife off and he has done so many favors for me that probably only HE can count them!



First off I got a little ticked when he got a girlfriend...HOW DARE HIM?



Then what does he go and do but move the little vixen in. It didn't help that she was cute and even smaller than me. Oh YEAH...she HAD to be a nurse. Like having a handy man next door wasn't sweet enough...now I had free medical advice as well.



I remember the first time I really needed my 'next door husband.'



My oldest son was 16 at the time and had just left the house in the Ford Ranger we had bought him. He called me not two minutes later asking me to come around the corner and pick him up. I asked him if he was okay and he just said "Come get me." I drove around the corner from our house and saw his truck in the ditch on MY side facing towards me. He had tried to go from drive to overdrive and had gone to reverse instead. Spun around...thankfully no oncoming traffic and landed facing traffic in a ditch with a blown tire.



I think that may have been when my 'next door husband ' broke up with me. He changed the tire and believe it or not the truck was okay.



Okay, so I even asked for more favors after that, but I am always good for a free twelve pack or a free meal brought over in Tupperware. He won't take my money...I guess he doesn't want a paper trail when he sneaks away in the middle of the night.



I have given him a break as of late (not really) but haven't needed him as much. I have gotten pretty dang good at fixing things and thanks to his many tutorials have learned quite a lot.



So my oldest son's car broke down. He immediately came over and towed the car home...spent a couple of days trying to diagnose and determine the problem. Fuel pump..no. A couple of other things tried and still no fix.



I left for work this morning to see my 'next door husband's' ex wife's car in his garage on jacks.



What? My son's car had been bumped down the que in favor of the mother of his children???



You see if I call him the next time my hot water heater goes out...okay, I let him fix it once but you see if I'll let him come over and fix it for free again. Don't even get me started on how many times I have let him come over and fix wiring problems...The Bastard.



Don't even think I will let him charge up the freon again in my husband's SUV once Summer hits.
Twice is quite enough !


I felt bad tonight thinking that he still had to help my son with his car and took over a fresh baked pecan pie when thanks to his advice and wisdom my son fixed his car on his own. I told TJ to go over and get the pie back.



I say all this in jest...I guess you get that by now unless you are my former neighbors, have found my blog and are saying "God #@!* we helped her a LOT more than that...the nerve of that liberal bitch."



Geez, my husband has a job now...my son's car is fixed...my daughter is spending the night off (after bringing home a friend for dinner) and Zach beat the rap with his ticket.



Can it be possible that my life is taking an upswing?



I still don't know if I can ever feel the same about my 'next door husband" unless the furnace goes out in our house...maybe I will have to give him a 42nd chance.

I am most probably one of the biggest deductions on his tax returns.

HEY!! Is that a moving van I hear next door ??