He's Back!! (Kinda Sorta)

Turns out I didn't need the switch I bought from the John Deere store but at least now I have a new one. I didn't need any new parts, just lots of help.

My brother n law came over and tried for over an hour to help  the other day and had some great suggestions that I need to follow through on regarding maintenance. I finally figured out how to change the oil and will start keeping my lil buddy a lot cleaner.

Mr. "Slow"Lee was no help but donated a roll of electrical tape and tons of opinions and always loans me tools.

Who'd a thunk it would be Zach and his buddy to get Johnny to finally roar to life? Not this momma!

I opened this morning at work, got off around two, went  to the bank drive through and made my deposit at  the last drive through farthermost from the bank while making a fake call on my cell phone which is also about to be cut off. I like to look busy when I am worried about my balance so if they one day finally press their little speaker and say "Mrs.  Cotton, could you come inside please?" I can say into my cell phone which is really off anyway  "Oprah, I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to call you back."

No worries, God looked out for me once again and I'm good. After tonight's shift I'll be even Steven and by  the end of the weekend will be a millionaire...not really but it will feel like I am.

Came home and changed into  shorts and worked on Johnny for over an hour. I googled solutions, I tried the test light and I tried holding his little steering wheel and  saying a prayer before I tried once again  to get him "Crunk." No go!

Zach finally came out in the garage and helped me...by  calling his buddy next door to come asses the situation. His buddy is my next door husband's son who knows almost as much as his dad. Not really but he's a pretty  sharp kid. His dad is getting married on Saturday, they have a lot to do so I have tried not to bother him. I like to save my next  door husband for big emergencies like house fires or  hot water tanks that go out in the middle of winter.

Since our tools consist of duct tape one screwdriver, rusty pliers and Gorilla glue, they pushed Johnny over to his house and started surgery. They took off and cleaned cables, found two wires that weren't even connected and spliced, soldered and pieced his innards back together. I was out back with the pups and heard Johnny roar to life next  door!

One wire still isn't connected but they can touch the wire to the post and he cranks right up...that's all I needed.

I went back to work and managed to stay late and shark the other two servers out of the last four tables and make enough to cover my bank deposit for tomorrow. Heck, I might even go inside like a big shot to make my deposit!

This lifestyle is beginning to wear me out but when I make things work out it makes me keep  the faith and keep on keeping on.

On a brighter note my hot flashes have really subsided. Last night I had a biggie and wondered why? I learned why when at 6:45 this morning Aunt Flow came a knocking like a tsunami. For Pete's sake, it's been three months...I'm over fifty two years old and tired of it. Massey was awake and said "This is my last one, take it."

I often wonder...what is man's torment in late mid life? Then I remember Tim is married to me and hasn't tried to kill me once. He'll get a free pass on that one.

I'm just so excited that I can cut grass tomorrow. All I needed was one more cut. My yards, Mr. "Slow" Lee's and the  front of the subdivision. (which will bring in sixty more bucks)

We're getting there...I'm getting there and we'll all get there if we just hang in there!

I can't go  to the wedding of my next door husband on  Saturday because it's in the Blue Ridge Mountains and I have to work at five but at least that way I won't be tempted to protest when the minister asks if anyone has objections. I'm losing my next door husband (sigh) but gaining a next door sister wife! Massey, Zach and Tim are going and what a great weekend to go to Blue Ridge!

Massey is taking the wedding pictures and although I hate missing it know they will have an awesome time. It will be nice for them to be away from bossy me.

I'll stay here, take care of our pups and our next door neighbor's. I'll get the yards all nice and trim and get us back in the black.

It's a win win situation.

Life is what you make of it. Work with the cards you are dealt and if you live life right will almost always have a winning hand.

Congrats to my next door husband and his bride.

Til next time...COTTON

My Three Valentines...They Melt and Fill My Heart

 I have three kids.

 I love them equally,  get mad at  them equally...but for the most part they have equally been the greatest pleasure and treasure of my life.

What makes it even better is that not only do I enjoy their company but they still all seem to enjoy mine.

My oldest  came out of high school with an extremely high GPA and I never even saw him crack a book. He went straight into college on the Hope scholarship, straight into a Fraternity and his GPA went straight  down the drain. We paid for one semester but he decided to join the work force like so many other kids with grand ideas which in actuality means they have "No idea." He floundered a bit but has landed on his feet and makes me proud that he is doing it all on his own. We wanted to help him  more but when the proverbial financial axe fell on our household and he was in his twenties...we not so gently shooed him out of the nest and hoped for the best. He made it. He seems to be doing well with his movie star good looks working for a Toyota dealership selling cars. If anyone can sell a woman a car it's him. He is dangerously handsome and has a winning personality and dazzling smile. (Thanks to the three grand I spent on braces and retainers)

Next in line is my son "Bill (Zachary Cotton) Gates."  I swear he is the smartest person I have ever met and the icing on the cake (or his terrible misfortune) is he has MY personality! But just like I did, he is fumbling in his late teens. He didn't GET through high school, we had to pull parental rank often and push him through while listening to him scream out his disparity of how cruel unjust and messed up society is. He was always right in his arguments often wrong in his methods but the only kid that got a standing ovation from the janitorial staff at graduation.

I could have done so much in my late teens but chose not to...a choice I still regret to this day. It makes me feel better that he is at least a hundred times smarter than me and I have full confidence that he will make his mark and the entire world will stop to listen.

Then I have my girl. Yes she was pampered and both the boys know it. But for Pete's sake when you are born under four pounds almost three months early and your mother nearly died having you...you NEED to be babied!

Sixteen years later and I am still doing it. (my bad)

So here we are a quarter of a century later. We've had good times we've had great times and we've had some not so great times.

What's important to me is we all seem to love each other. I almost killed myself for two years working ungodly hours and weeks on end. Things have settled down and by  the Grace of God, friends...strangers and family we have made it.

What I realize now is that I have three amazing kids that still aren't embarrassed to be seen or hang out with me. They make me smile and laugh and whether or not it is totally genuine they still seem to think I am a pretty cool mom.

Could I have done a better job? Of course . Am I proud of my kids? You dang straight!

My three Valentines...I love them so much it is a physical ache. There is nothing I wouldn't do (or often times have) done for them.

My kids love me and I am a fifty one year old bag of bones. What greater joy could a "Momma" have? (Except to wake up weighing ten pounds more.)

We'll give my husband a shout out for sperm donation and always being a hard worker! That's totally MY fault. I met him and he made the mistake of falling in love with a bizarre crazy control freak who shoved him down the path of life.

We're a crazy bunch here...but sometimes crazy is what can get you through. Dwell too much on the negative and it can be your demise. Realize you are only human and make sure you do your best every day  you wake up.

Learn to love and learn to earn to be loved!

I can't imagine not having my three kids. I can't imagine not having the trials and even the tribulations of raising them.

I'll have the fanciest "Rascal" in the nursing home when all my kids are millionaires. They don't need to buy me a horn for it...I'll be running my trap (horn) for as long as I can. They'll just need to buy their Dad earplugs so he doesn't have to listen to me anymore.

Happy Valentine's Day...Hug someone, tell someone you love them and always love your fellow man...No matter what their story is no matter what their  gender or preference is. No matter what their political or religious views are. No matter if they are rich or destitute. We all need love and love is the key!

"Love is all you need."

COTTON

"Girls Gone Grown Up"

Two little girls met when one was four and the other one three. The four year old was bossy and has remained so.

 I remember the year it snowed after Christmas and they dragged the thrown out   Christmas tree someone had shoved into their garage... over the river and through the woods to the back of our property.

 I remember when it REALLY snowed and these two girls trashed all my cookie sheets by using them as sleds.

 I remember THIS "Pimpin" pic from a day when they were both obviously bored.

I remember two little girls that have  known and lived next door to each other for as long as THEY can remember.

They were both cute as buttons (where THAT term comes from I am still unaware of) and have floated in and out of each other's lives for almost thirteen years.

They both went through their awkward years...but came out the other side complete beauties, inside and out.

I'll never forget the time when they were about six and seven and Alyssa's parents  put in a  pool. Alyssa came over , knocked on my door and was so excited to invite Massey to come swim. Her Dad (my next door husband) was standing right behind her, still dripping in her little two piece suit . She had her little glasses crooked on her tiny face and both  little boobies were below her bikini top. I guess it rode up on the run over to my front door. Her Dad said "Pull your top down" she turned and looked at him like he was crazy and Massey burst out the front door with her wax ear plugs and they both bounded back next door.

Oh how I will miss living next door to these people!

They have been our best friends and  helped us out too many times to count. My next door husband has fixed my cars (time and time again) my oven, my dishwasher and even my umbrella on the back patio. Our kid's have grown up together and I almost have the same feelings as I did growing up in East Point ... A community of many but a tight knit family that cares about each other intensely.

All three of my kids have grown up in this house and I have too.

Leaving Georgia is still a strange idea to me. I know I will still see my brother and sister  but leaving my "Next door family" will be tough. It has been wonderful living next door to them and having them as not only neighbors but  friends.

It's getting closer...this move. It's starting to hit me. There are things I will be glad to leave behind and there are things I will miss....The Smrekar's will be one of them (Felicia included)

Thank the Lord Alyssa has learned how to keep a bathing suit top in the right place because she has turned out to be quite the beauty. Her sister is married and starting her own life with her husband in Hawaii. Their brother is going into the Air Force  and after watching them all grow up ... I know it is time for US to grow.

We will always (I am sure) stay in touch...we will be connected via Internet,  but I will always remember those early years..."The Wonder Years."

Til next time...COTTON

Remember 9/11...EVERY Day, Not Just On 9/11

I remember when the first plane hit.

I was getting ready to go into work for my "Lunch Lady " gig at my younger two kid's elementary school.
I was watching the Today Show and was stunned.

I was sure it was a plane out of control ...maybe the pilot had suffered a heart attack.

My first instinct was to call my sister who was a flight attendant. When she said "Hello" it was the sweetest single word I ever heard.

As we started talking...we were both watching the television . When the second plane struck, my heart dropped and I can honestly say it was one of the most sickening feelings I have ever had, and I have had endured some strong blows in my life.

I finished getting ready for work and loaded up my small TV to take to the lunch room with me. When I arrived at the school all the older women I worked with looked frantic for news and I plugged my small TV into the wall and we all watched as the Pentagon was hit and the plane crashed in Pennsylvania.

It was the longest day I could remember in a while.

Now I knew how my parents felt during Pearl Harbor or when the Cuban missile crisis occurred. It is a feeling of reality and uncertainty all crashing together. It's a feeling that nothing will ever be the same.

And it wasn't ... never will be.

It was and still is a tragedy. So many innocent lives lost and so many more lost trying to save the survivors.

The nation came together quickly and collectively. No time for Dems or Repubs...We were Americans and responded accordingly.

The hate of Muslims was quick to spread.

The problem that began is the immediate hate of ALL Muslims.

Not two weeks after 9/11 the vacant house next door to me had a moving van out front and a family of Muslims moved in. The wife who was pregnant wore a burqa, not covering her face but her head and they moved in with their young daughter and two little boys. The girl was Douha, the older son was Amir and the younger son was Wadah.

I was more nervous than I let my conscience believe.

I have always been a Liberal...used to be a Dem but am now so sick of both parties that I am a "Cotton" with her own ideas of what is right.

When on my riding mower one day I picked up a piece of paper that had blown against their fence. They didn't have a riding mower so I cut their yard for them (sound familiar?) It was a map of all the security entrances to Hartsfield airport and marked where a security pass was needed.

Needless to say I was beyond freaked and called my sister. She was concerned as well since she was flying only international flights and we discussed what to do. She was leaving on a flight to Ireland that night and I was struggling with calling the FBI or the newly created Homeland security.

When my husband got home from work I told him about the dastardly plot we had discovered.

He took one look at the piece of paper and said "Kelly, that blew out of MY truck." He was working for a freight company that did a lot of overseas freight and it had been left in his company truck by one of the couriers that drove it during the daytime...picking up documents and taking them to Customs.

PANIC...PARANOIA... not a good thing.

My neighbors never knew that I thought they were involved in anything sinister, but I felt ashamed every time she sent one of her kids over with a delicious dish or a dessert she made for me for cutting her grass.

I remember the first time I realized 'kids are kids' no matter what the religion, belief or upbringing. I went over to return a dish and Massey was over playing with Douha. They had an ornate clock on the mantle that chimed when it was time to pray (five times a day.)

As the clock began to chime...Massey , who was all excited about learning about their culture shouted out "Time to Pray!!"

Douha immediately shouted back over the chimes "I don't have to pray until I'm seven!"

They were wonderful neighbors, they were disgusted with what happened on 9/11 but I am also sure they were pre judged every where they went in our small town.

The hate needs to stop. There are crazies every where. There are crazy Liberals there are crazy right wingers. There are crazy blacks and there are crazy whites. There is crazy in every race, religion and faction of life.

It's the "Crazies" we need to fear... and not assign "Crazy" to one group or religion. Trust me, there is PLENTY of crazy to go around and "That my friends is the REAL problem."

Of course this is only MY opinion...but thankfully it is MY BLOG!

Let's learn to love, let's learn to work together and for Pete's sake realize that all the infighting and the back biting doesn't serve anyone...except the self serving politicians that are more worried about their paychecks than they are about us as the Americans that have somehow been duped into letting them be in control of our lives...Maybe I should run for office?!

It was a tough one, but "Heart Felt' ...COTTON

Long Day, Hot Day...Good Day

Massey started guard camp today...12 gruelling hours.
It starts at nine in the morning and ends at nine at night. They start with a mile run and move on to drill on the asphalt parking lot of the school and practice in the gym that has NO air conditioning...I would almost rather be outside where you could catch a possible breeze.

I took a case of water to the school and came home after going to the bank...going back to the John Deere store to find out the idiot who I thought had given me the wrong blade was right ...guess I'M the doofus. MY BAD, but I actually got the blade on all by myself.

Once I had it on I didn't have a socket wrench so my sweet next door husband did it for me. Actually I called him first just to ask to borrow a socket wrench and he said to bring the bolt over and he would give me the right size socket.

I did that, and gently led him out of his garage carrying his socket wrench in my hand chatting him up the entire time and eventually ended my intense conversation with him as we walked into my garage where Johnny sat propped up on one side waiting for my next door husband to "Do his thing."

God bless him ...he never even mentioned he had been duped but laid on his back and tightened my new blade onto Johnny (after treating the thread to the bolt with some kind of magic goop.)

The instructions I had read mentioned something about that "goop" but I felt like it was more a suggestion than an instruction and had already decided I would skip that step.

God bless a "next door husband."

Luckily (for him) it didn't take three minutes to put the blade on and at least I knew it was on RIGHT.

After he left (and probably blocked my cell # from his) I cranked ole Johnny up and heard the horrific sound of my brand new blade hitting the decking...shooting sparks out. I quickly turned it off and went inside disheartened.

I went back into my garage ten minutes later and tried one more time..."DING DING DING DING." It was excruciating to hear and after turning the mower off again I went into the kitchen where MY husband sat paying bills.

He said "Did you think it was going to magically fix itself?"

HURUMPHH!!!

I went to plan #2. Called my brother in law and asked if he would do a drive by on his way home from the airport and fix the "Dinging."

God bless him too (I may be on three '"God bless" by this point) he came by after I had already left for work and worked (or banged) out all the kinks. Seems I bent the decking when I was plowing through Mr. "Slow"Lee's yard .

Johnny's fixed and I couldn't be happier.

Working at the "SWEAT FEST" tomorrow at the school during guard practice. Then coming home to jump on Johnny like stink on poop.

Gotta get me one of those Coal Miner's hats and I can cut grass at night too.

It sounds crazy (unless you're me) but having my JD running great is one of the things that makes me the happiest.

"GO Johnny GO."

"TILL" no more or should I say "Till -No" mower next time...COTTON

So THAT'S How It's Gonna Be...

I am a little upset with my next door husband.



The guy that lives next door to me is a mechanic for the airlines and has saved our butt so many times that it is not even funny...even to me.



The family that lived in their house before them was a strange bunch. They were nice enough but the dad had a temper that was unbelievable. How many times do you want to hear a father scream out "God *&@# son ... you're doing it wrong!" They were very, very conservative. I bet the dad has a pin up of Sarah Palin in his garage...next to his double wide photo of Rush Limbaugh hugging Bill O'Reilly.



When my youngest son was in first grade he asked the next door neighbor's son what "gay" meant? I guess he had heard it in school or on TV. My neighbor's son told Zach that it meant "Sick love between two boys." I was outraged.



New family moved in...HUGE sigh of relief. The best thing the last family did for us was when Tim pushed our lawn mower over to see if the husband could fix it and he told Tim it was out of gas. Brings back "Slingblade" memories doesn't it? "Ain't got no gas."



My new next door neighbor was married when he moved in, but went through a divorce...after fixing the heating element in my oven, helping to replace my dishwasher and fixing my car at least three times. His wife probably said she was sick of me and had to leave.



I kept waiting for him to build the Great Wall of China between our houses but he didn't so I kept on calling when I had to. I have gotten pretty good at figuring things out on my own. I love my husband but he needs help changing the toilet paper (maybe not that but you get my drift.)



I don't know my neighbor's political views...he doesn't hang them out there like a flag like my former neighbor did...but I love him either way.



I started calling him my 'Next Door Husband' a few years back...after I chased his wife off and he has done so many favors for me that probably only HE can count them!



First off I got a little ticked when he got a girlfriend...HOW DARE HIM?



Then what does he go and do but move the little vixen in. It didn't help that she was cute and even smaller than me. Oh YEAH...she HAD to be a nurse. Like having a handy man next door wasn't sweet enough...now I had free medical advice as well.



I remember the first time I really needed my 'next door husband.'



My oldest son was 16 at the time and had just left the house in the Ford Ranger we had bought him. He called me not two minutes later asking me to come around the corner and pick him up. I asked him if he was okay and he just said "Come get me." I drove around the corner from our house and saw his truck in the ditch on MY side facing towards me. He had tried to go from drive to overdrive and had gone to reverse instead. Spun around...thankfully no oncoming traffic and landed facing traffic in a ditch with a blown tire.



I think that may have been when my 'next door husband ' broke up with me. He changed the tire and believe it or not the truck was okay.



Okay, so I even asked for more favors after that, but I am always good for a free twelve pack or a free meal brought over in Tupperware. He won't take my money...I guess he doesn't want a paper trail when he sneaks away in the middle of the night.



I have given him a break as of late (not really) but haven't needed him as much. I have gotten pretty dang good at fixing things and thanks to his many tutorials have learned quite a lot.



So my oldest son's car broke down. He immediately came over and towed the car home...spent a couple of days trying to diagnose and determine the problem. Fuel pump..no. A couple of other things tried and still no fix.



I left for work this morning to see my 'next door husband's' ex wife's car in his garage on jacks.



What? My son's car had been bumped down the que in favor of the mother of his children???



You see if I call him the next time my hot water heater goes out...okay, I let him fix it once but you see if I'll let him come over and fix it for free again. Don't even get me started on how many times I have let him come over and fix wiring problems...The Bastard.



Don't even think I will let him charge up the freon again in my husband's SUV once Summer hits.
Twice is quite enough !


I felt bad tonight thinking that he still had to help my son with his car and took over a fresh baked pecan pie when thanks to his advice and wisdom my son fixed his car on his own. I told TJ to go over and get the pie back.



I say all this in jest...I guess you get that by now unless you are my former neighbors, have found my blog and are saying "God #@!* we helped her a LOT more than that...the nerve of that liberal bitch."



Geez, my husband has a job now...my son's car is fixed...my daughter is spending the night off (after bringing home a friend for dinner) and Zach beat the rap with his ticket.



Can it be possible that my life is taking an upswing?



I still don't know if I can ever feel the same about my 'next door husband" unless the furnace goes out in our house...maybe I will have to give him a 42nd chance.

I am most probably one of the biggest deductions on his tax returns.

HEY!! Is that a moving van I hear next door ??

How Cold Can You Be?

I got home from work yesterday about 3:30..it was 82 degrees outside.

My next door neighbors are well into their eighties...they had a fire going in their fireplace. my son got off the school bus and remarked "the neighbors are burning down more of our forest on a day that feels like August".

They are a quirky couple. He is as nice as can be, his name is Lee. I tend to call him "slow" Lee. I asked him to help me fix my weed eater one day, and spent two hours with him trying to do something that I could have done in ten minutes, but it made him happy to help, so I let him.

I have a riding lawn mower so I cut their grass for them once a week.He leans over the back of his big diesel truck the entire time just watching me cut...kinda weird but I've gotten used to it.

The fireplace issue just rubs my 16 year old the wrong way...this morning he got up to announce they had another fire going (a balmy 72 degrees outside).

He has a contraption in his back yard that he melts his beer cans with... a cage type device that he burns them in. It smells like he is burning cadavers. We wondered for about a week what the smell was, so one day when he wasn't home to peer at me while I cut his yard I peeked through the fence to see what smelled so awful and spotted his Budweiser cans smoldering away. I'll have to remember to tell him about the recycling station right down the road from us.

The only neighbors quirkier than them are the "vampires" up the street. My daughter announced they were vampires the second day after they moved in. I attributed it to the fact that she was reading the "Twilight" series. The mother"Vampire" called me to ask if I would feed her cats while they went home to Chicago for a weekend. I am NOT a big cat person, but I was the only person she knew in the neighborhood and I thought it would be "neighborly" to help her out. I went to their house the evening before they left to pick up their key. The son answered the door without so much as a "hello" and handed me a key. I said maybe I should come inside to see where they kept the cat food and how to take care of them.

He motioned me inside...not ONE light on anywhere. In the dim fading light I saw the husband on the couch, he didn't even look up at me. The mother "Vampire" came skulking out of a bedroom to show me where to find the food and told me where she kept the dishes so that they could eat out of a fresh bowl every day (that didn't happen...my dogs eat out of the same dishes every day and I don't hear them complaining).

I went back the next day to feed the kitties.

When I opened the door a cat was sitting right by the door. I went up the stairs and saw the other kitty staring at me like it was fixing to attack. I went to the kitchen to get the food and another cat was sitting on the counter. As I opened the cans another cat strode into the kitchen. When I was putting the food in the "clean" dishes yet another cat pounced into view from a side room. A little freaked out by now, I filled the water bowls as ANOTHER cat raced in from another bedroom like it had to be somewhere in a big hurry. I quit counting cats, just tried to get out of there as fast as I could. The next day I saw two more cats I hadn't seen the first day and by the smell, there may have been a couple more lurking about.

Thank the Lord they came back the next day. I tried to get Massey to go feed them that day, but she said she was all out of wooden stakes and didn't want to risk it.

She has since retracted her "vampire" theory, as vampires are all supposed to be really beautiful... and now just thinks they are "weirdos".

I tend to agree with her...at the last feeding I counted eight cats, about seven too many for my liking.

It reminds me of the old Tom Hanks movie "The Burbs". Great movie if you haven't seen it...go rent it at Blockbuster. Tom Hanks, Carrie Fisher, Bruce Dern and Corey Feldman to name just a few.

It reminds me somewhat of my own neighborhood...you never know what goes on behind the doors of the houses surrounding yours...and sometimes it is better NOT to know!

Til next time...COTTON

Angels Take Care of Their Own...

My sister and her husband have not only been smacked in the face with reality of "open heart surgery", but have been wrapped in the arms of Angels. Their church has done the most amazing thing I have ever seen a group of Christians do... think of the best way to help a person who is down and out... and step up to the plate... swing the bat and knock a home run for my sister and her husband. Maybe I should call it a grand slam. She called me at work tonight to tell me that her church had helped them out... above and totally beyond the call of duty. Let me insert here, that my sister has helped hundreds of people out over the years, and continues to on a daily basis. She is my mentor, my best friend, and the only MOM that I have. She would do anything for any one, and often has. But in her time of need... she has been taken care of by genuine love, care and concern that boggles the mind... at least my small mind (which ain't too much). Her weight has been lifted by the love of people that truly and deeply love her, as I do. My appreciation for these "Angels" is probably as great as hers ... although she is a MUCH better person than I am, and deserves it EVERY BIT ... it has made her aware of just how much friends CAN and DO make an impact in our lives. God has blessed my sister not only with her husband's good recovery, but with the knowledge that she is appreciated for the wonderful woman, person and Christian that she is. Thank you "Angels" not only for loving my family, but for giving us peace of mind and some relief in one of the most traumatic times of our lives.God bless you each and every one, as you have surely blessed us. Till next time... COTTON