I Must Have Been a Housewife in a Former Life

So we had another blast of winter here in the deep south. Both storms just happened to fall on the two days I was off from work so I didn't feel guilty about missing work and got to stay in PJ's for two days. I slept when I wanted to and got up when I wanted to. I got closets cleaned out, bathrooms scrubbed and rooms vacuumed. I cooked two meals every day  and caught up all the laundry. I ate a half gallon of chocolate ice cream...the list could go on and on.

This last storm was a bit scarier, more ice than snow. Ice is not Nice. We never lost power but many of my friends and family did. We would have been super screwed. We didn't have one stick of fire wood and just two taper candles. I had one flashlight with old batteries and our house is cold and drafty even when the heat is on.

God looked out for us and kept our power on and I am extremely grateful.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day or as we call it in the service industry, Amateur Night. Peeps who normally never go out to eat are forced to and the ones who suffer are servers. They HAVE to pay their tab but aren't obligated to leave a tip. I'm working from open til close and just pray I get lucky. I'm just hoping for quantity vs. quality, or maybe a nice mix of both.

These past few days here at home have been wonderful except for the worry about losing power. I think I was born to be a house wife or maybe a house wife who works two or three days a week. I got so many things done that I normally ignore when working full time. When you work full time you're at home a lot less and tend to overlook things like dusting, vacuuming or putting up clean laundry.

 The laundry will get washed but the first person who washes a load  rarely gets it out of the washer immediately so when the next person comes along to wash their load will either pull the wash out and throw it wet in a basket (the men) especially if there are still clothes in the dryer. If they feel generous or need their clothes immediately they will pull the dry clothes out into a basket and stick their stuff in. Then the clean dry clothes sit wadded up in a basket until someone comes looking for them or get mistaken for dirty clothes and have more dirty clothes piled on top of them, hence starting the cycle over again. Everyone here is old enough to do their own laundry but it's a nightmare. Do they check the water level? Do they clean the dryer vent out? Not always...and sometimes. I know when they clean the dryer vent out because they leave the lint ball on top of the dryer. That waste basket four feet away is just too far to aim for.


Yes they load the dishwasher but do they start it when it's full as a sardine can?  That would be a NO. They also load it with plates facing backwards and plastic cups on the bottom rack which melt. I guess they figure that's less to unload when it's their turn. I will give them kudos on unloading. This is most probably because I always say "If you'll unload the dishwasher I can get dinner started." Works every time!

As long as I'm picking on them, do they brush their teeth with their eyes closed or really not notice that huge glob of toothpaste left in the sink when they spit to rinse? Don't even get me started on the way they squeeze the tube. Is it supposed to be a show of strength?

When you work five or six days a week these things really get under your skin. When you have two days off in a row you feel relaxed enough to nicely ask for help instead of barking out orders as you dash out the door for work with zero minutes to spare. Granted I'm pretty good at giving orders but you catch a lot more flies with honey than vinegar.

Today I cleaned the entire master bedroom, closet and all. Sheets and comforter washed, furniture and bookcases cleaned with Murphy's Oil  Soap and cleaned my makeup table. I even matched the entire (huge) sock basket and threw away ones who have been missing mates for as long as I can remember. I cleaned all the pictures on the walls and cleaned the master bath.

My sweet sister is coming to paint my kitchen on Saturday and I'm pretty pumped. She's already painted the baseboards, window sills and ceiling. Walls are going to be really cozy looking shade of blue called "Poolhouse". I'm going to take before and after pics just to let you all see what amazing work she does.

One more snow storm and I'll have this house kinda sorta in almost halfway tip top shape!

 Here's the thing about housework, the more you get done the more you WANT to do, especially when you have time to sit and enjoy the results.

Guess all my enjoyment is done til next week or next storm. Working all weekend. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have my job but was sure nice to have a two day staycation at home.

 Bonus points... bet I gained five pounds too!

Happy Amateur Day to you all.

Til next time CUPID COTTON

That's Why I Made a List...

I stopped at the grocery store the other day on the way home from a day shift. I had left a fifty dollar bill on the counter for Tim to go to the store but knew it was still sitting there. Working the graveyard shift is killing him and trying to sleep all day with teen agers coming in and out constantly isn't very conducive  for deep uninterrupted rest.

I tried to remember what I had on the list I left by the fifty dollar bill on the counter. I got most all that I could remember and proceeded to the check out. I had bought some extra items intending to actually cook a dinner for a change. I thought maybe the kids think that the gas on my stove had been cut off and I was forced to only use the microwave and they were trying to be nice  not to mention that they couldn't remember the last time I put on an oven mitt and pulled something to eat out of the oven.

The total was going up quicker than I had anticipated and by the time ten things were left I looked like Debra Winger in Terms of Endearment when she was at the grocery store with her kids. "I don't need this...and can you take this off?"

Fortunately it hadn't deducted my savings from my 'plus card' yet and I was able to get most every thing except cokes for Tim to take to work and my laundry detergent (which is sky high for some unknown reason.)

I got home and started dinner. The kids got all excited when they saw me actually getting out pots and pans...my family is so easy to please!

Tim woke up (probably not used to smells drifting up from the kitchen below our bedroom) and I told Massey to go to the store with him to pick up the couple of items I didn't get. Tim wasn't thrilled but Massey was all on board and told her dad to give her a minute to change (going any where is a fashion statement for a 15 year old girl.)

I told them we needed cokes and laundry detergent and that Massey could get some sugar cookies to bake.

I was cooking away (yes I remembered how) when they came back home...lugging in WAY too many bags.

Tim said "Here's seven dollars and some change back." I started to say something (I always am) but just let it go.

We had a nice meal and even our oldest son was there for dinner. Starving 24 year olds out on their own can smell a free dinner a mile away.

TJ made the comment "This is the best meal I have had in a long time."

I said "This is the best meal WE have had in a long time, but thanks."

After dinner Tim made the fatal mistake of saying "We forgot to get laundry detergent so you need to pick some up."

The cork I had mentally stuck in my big fat mouth popped out.

"What do you mean?"

Of course Massey jumped right to her dad's defense. "Well we bought a bag of dog food  and we needed mustard too and they had these yummy stars that I told dad were really good."

I said "Was dog food on the list? If we had been out of dog food (which is also sky high) I would have put it on the list and I bought mustard yesterday, it's sitting right here on the counter...and what are STARS?"

So now we have spare dog food spare mustard and some YUMMY STARS and seven dollars and some change.

Tim knows how to get me from ever sending him to the grocery store again...maybe he's more the thinker than I give hime credit for.

TJ seems to be a thinker as well. There were tons of leftovers so he hung around for two more days until that well ran dry.

After dinner I took my seven dollars and some change and went to get laundry detergent.

One thing I CAN say is that life is anything but dull at our house.

If anyone feels like an Iams sandwich smothered in mustard with a yummy STARS treat for dessert, COME ON BY!

Til next time...COTTON

Makes Ya Wonder Sometimes

Case in point...I brought home a bag of dog food today from the store. I asked my 17 year old son to feed the dogs.

He's gotten pretty good at helping out around the house...especially with the dogs. He's even learned that three big dogs need fresh water every time you feed them (no duh.)

About half an hour later I went out to the garage and the 20lb bag of food had actually been poured into the huge plastic container I keep the dog food in, but I noticed food scattered all over the floor and quickly saw why.

He had opened the bag of food with a claw hammer which was still in the garage floor next to the dog food bin. I asked Zach if he had used a hammer to open the dog food and his reply was "Sure, why not?"

Okay, a knife..maybe. Scissors...even better, but a HAMMER?

The other day I was at Walmart buying a few groceries when an older couple got in line behind me. I put the divider bar behind the last of my groceries and the man started putting their purchases on the conveyor belt. He plopped down a Sunday paper and then tossed two bags of frozen peas right on top of the newspaper. I glanced at the already thawing vegetables as the wife said 'Why'd you put them on top of the paper for goodness sake?"

I told her I had stopped myself from asking him the same question when I mentally reminded myself I had my OWN husband to get on to.

He said casually "It looked like a good place to me."

GO FIGURE !!

My husband will drink all the tea in the fridge but a half a cup and put the pitcher back in the refrigerator. What's he doing...saving that 4 ounces in case someone decides they aren't really all THAT thirsty?

My oldest son will go out and buy a new shirt for work when all of his are dirty...where's the logic in THAT? Granted I stopped doing his laundry (the age of 24 is my cut off for laundry ) but for Pete's sake...throw a load into wash when you know you are going to need a shirt for work.

Lucky for me I have to wear white shirts to work too so we at least always have an ample supply to choose from ...maybe I'll let that one slide!

A while back when my son's car broke down my 'next door husband' towed it home for him, inadvertently tearing off the front bumper. My son just left the bumper laying in my side yard for about 3 weeks before I stacked all the torn up parts behind my garage so at least the neighbors didn't have to look at them. Maybe my son thought bumpers were bio degradable and it would just disappear into the ground.

Living with a house full of men has its upsides too. They are basically low maintenance and rarely ever complain...they leave all the complaining to me and I sincerely appreciate the kind gesture.

I could throw some pig slop on a plate and yell "DINNER" and although they may not brag about my cooking they would surely eat it.

I could open a can of tomatoes I had left in the cabinet...warm it up with some milk added and tell them Tomato soup is for supper and they would eat it, clumps and all. They have never once complained about a plate or bowl of food I placed in front of them.

Men and women are so radically different that sometimes I wonder if we are the same species.

I love my husband and I love my two boys but sometimes they leave ME thinking "What the hell are YA'LL thinking?"

Massey is a train wreck as far as drama and being a hideous "room picker upper" but at least even SHE would balk at a can of stewed tomatoes with milk for supper and I can almost guarantee she would never use a hammer to open a bag of dog food.

MEN!!!

Thank the Lord they have us women to shove them down the path of life and tell them every wrong step they take.

My men may end up in a wheel chair with me "Pushing them down the path" because they just weren't walking fast enough!

Til next time...COTTON

PS. Be sure to double click on the above photo...pretty funny (especially if you are a female)

Still on the Laptop...arrrgghh!!

I guess I'll have to get used to this laptop since every time I come home from work I find my 17 year old seated at my computer.



I think he hears my car pull in the garage and races to log on so it looks like I am interrupting him as if he is deeply into whatever game or site he is on. I may be old, but I ain't stupid. I am just so happy to be back home where I am loved for who I am that I let a lot of things slide (like Massey's room that looks like it has been hit by a hurricane.) We are thinking about applying for aid with FEMA...maybe we can get her a trailer to live in on the back of our property.



Just gave my boys five bucks to go eat off the dollar menu at McDonald's...let me go jump on MY computer and I will finish posting. This laptop is more work than pleasure to me and I spend half my time correcting typos and trying to figure out where I am on a page. Hang on a minute....I sound a lot smarter on a desk top, trust me!

THERE! I already feel better sitting in my same ole chair with the keyboard at the level just where I want it and don't have to use my blasted finger for a cursor.

The saying is true..."You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

Worked in the yards today before I went to work...helped my mindset and gave me enough of a feeling of happiness to go into work again. It was pretty busy and I concentrated on being the "server" they want me to be (what else can I do?)

My husband went to pick Massey up from guard practice. The calendar in our kitchen had been flipped to October so he went to pick her up at eight instead of nine, when she got through. For Pete's sake...could he not flip the calendar back to September and see where I had written the practice times (you know how they have blocks for the rest of the week even though the month is over.)

God bless him, but how did he make it before he met me to shove him down the path of life? When I got home from work, it was almost nine and my 17 year old said Dad had been gone for over an hour to pick up Massey. I asked why he left so early and he told me the calendar for October was blank where I usually write all Massey's practice times. Three men at the house and no one thought to pull out the push pin and flip the calendar back one month to just perhaps see if there may be some mystic clue as to when Massey got out of practice.

As I said , I'm old but I ain't stupid...I left it alone and didn't say a word.

Going now to write all the practice times on the October calendar and hope that crisis is averted til November. When Massey and I are both gone at the same time, I tend to leave the dogs in control...that's my best bet!

Til next time...COTTON