So Close...

I got almost four hours of sleep last night before getting up for work this morning. It rained like crazy the entire ride to the airport. I detest driving in rain but at least made it in time to be the first server there. I took my multi vitamin, a Zyrtec and Aleve followed by an espresso and was good to go go go!

Massey rode with me but didn't have to be in until ten; I go in at eight thirty. She let me get out at the front door of the terminal and drove back to the parking deck, parked and rode the shuttle back. She's such a good little helper to her tired ole momma.

We open at ten, had maybe three or four tables by eleven so sent one of the servers home early. I never leave early. If I'm getting up before seven, ironing a shirt, putting on make up and driving twenty five miles...I'm there for the duration even if it's painful.

Around three it finally picked up a bit. I made over $230 in less than two hours and clocked out by five.

That'll make you feel better, and it did. The ride home was rain free, stopped by and did the grocery thing; came home and put on a big pot of chili then put some ribs I had thawed in the crock pot for tomorrow. Just like that, had dinner cooked for four days! We can eat chili for a day or two or switch to ribs then make chili dogs. I like multitasking, makes life much easier.

One more mid shift tomorrow (go in at one thirty, get off before nine) and will have all of Tuesday to my own little self.

I had someone message me after reading one of my blogs asking for financial advice on getting back on track.

Here's my secret.

"Never give up"

When we were at our lowest would bounce a check to keep the power on, was cheaper than a reconnect fee. I got rid of cable channels and cut the front of our subdivision to pay for back HOA dues.  We were (and still are) lucky and had an outpouring of love and support from friends, family, Blog readers and even strangers.

If you aren't lucky like we were, never hesitate to contact the Salvation Army or any local church. My sister's Sunday School class helped us out when our septic tank backed up a few years back.

We owe them a sh*tload of thanks...literally.

Pray a lot.

Stay positive, even when you don't feel like it. Staying positive doesn't cost a dime and is worth every penny. (trust me)

Keep a journal. The written word is old school these days but a wonderful way to remember and reflect.

Always remember what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Lean on your friends and rely on your faith. The Big Guy's pretty smart.

Be a good person and never stop believing.

Yep, this was taped in Texas, where my husband is currently living all alone away from family, friends and our three kids and pups. Also thank The Lord men don't wear jeans that tight anymore.

If you never step out and take a chance, how can you know how far you could go?

I'm not a fan of comfort zones, they never got me anywhere. Call me a rebel, I consider it a compliment.

Til next time...COTTON

Ruh Roh

I've gotten spoiled with my new job. For literally years, I worked six often times seven days a week for months at a time.

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. And I did.

Now I (sometimes) make what I used to make weekly working seven shifts in just two. "Welcome to the big time!"

I don't know if it's my age or  obviously over exhausted stress capacity but working at the airport six days a week is a bit much for me. I've only had to (thankfully) do it a few times but this past week has drained me like a sink.

I was okay last night after getting home from shift three in a row. Making well over two hundred fifty bucks made it easy to do and also meant I only had three more to go.

I got this!

Today I went in today and felt pretty good until around eight tonight. All the sudden I felt cold chills (fifty five year old women never feel cold chills) and achy, recognizing all the signs. I couldn't keep my nose from running, felt like was dripping so badly my customers would offer me their napkin and to put it simply, just felt shitty.

I felt better after I got home. Home always makes me feel better.

I think (hope) it's just exhaustion.

I'm tumbling into bed with a warm pup spooning me and willing myself to feel better in the morning. I have to be up before seven for a day shift but will be home hours before the sun goes down.

Only two more shifts to go. I got this too!

Like the way I used all three ways of spelling the word to, two, too correctly?

I'm smart like that!

I'm just so grateful that all I have to do is make through two more shifts and will have two days off!

I more than vividly remember when I had no days off with none in sight.

It's getting better all the time, and I will too.

Til next time, COTTON

Life Realization at Fifty Five

 

It appears I'm a slow learner. Last week I got really frustrated about a couple of (three or four) things.

After pouting and griping for days to our three dogs and anyone else around the house who would listen I finally came to the realization there are some things in life you simply can't do anything about but can always find something positive if you search deep within yourself and always try to do your best...always!

We had a solid (over) five year financially downhill struggle but after a few wrongs turns and  couple of bad decisions finally found the way with help from The Big Guy and tons of supporters.

I'm not crazy about my husband living a thousand miles away but in all honesty has been somewhat a welcome break for us both. It got pretty ugly for a while and was mostly (all) my fault.

At least I'm honest.

It's not easy living with a woman who always has the sharp, rapidfire comeback for anything you can or may say, and can forget trying to rebuttal. ( just gives me more material to work with)

With now less than a year to go,  Fang and I will be living together again. It'll most probably take him that long to miss me if he's as smart as I think (know) he is.

The new job I have is seasonal and need (have) to prepare in advance. International travel is totally different from domestic. These crazy international fliers march to the beat of a different drum, sometimes steel and sometimes bongo or gong.

When it's hot, is RED hot.

When it's not, it's NOT.

I can go from making four hundred bucks in one shift to scratching out a Franklin and change in another.

Lucky for me I like scratching.

I work in the yards so much with my buddy, Mr. Weed Eater usually always have one or two patches of poison ivy which feel deliciously wonderful to scratch.

My Diddy used to always seem to enjoy scratching his athlete's foot through his white (supposed to help with AF) socks while drinking a  Co-Cola watching Bob Newhart on Saturday nights when I was a kid.

And when it's slow at work, worry myself sick about what will happen if it never picks up again.

Then I start to pick apart life...the wrong way.

Why do some people seem to cruise down Easy Street while I'm battling traffic back up it?

EPIPHANY!

Don't worry about what other people do or how they do it and get by. Worry about what YOU do and how you do it!

Worry about what you are doing right, not what others are doing wrong.

KARMA is a big ole  bee-otch (probably has a gross mustache, eye boogers in the corners of her eyes  and hairy mole too) laughing at ones who just don't get it. A lot of peeps will be stunned and shocked when learn she's real. I may not be around to witness, but it will happen.

I need to stay positive and not worry. I need to take advantage of all the opportunities I am afforded, given and not worry about people who don't. I need to pray for (not) judge them. They'll learn too. The even (harder) way.

I have enough on my own plate to deal with. It's still not Easy Street but am closer to it every day.

 Dang it was great to grow up in the sixties and seventies. I'm still lucky after all these years! A whole lotta peeps can't say that. That's kinda sad to me.

I feel like an entire generation is missing out on real life while Tweeting, Instagramming and Snapchatting.

At least all my bad choices, decisions and actions as a young adult aren't on the Internet to see and half the peeps who witnessed it can't remember what they went into a room for anyway, much less how to Google it.

Yep! I'm lucky.

Til next time...COTTON

You Can't Fix Stupid But You Can Try

 I promised would post tonight so I will.

So much has happened in my life over the past five years it would take all night to touch on every single thing so just want to let you all know what is coming in the hopefully very near future.

Number one:

Politics really tick me off and I have voted in every election since turning eighteen in 1978.

I wouldn't (and have never) publicly bash (or bashed) the president of our country. I may not have voted for him but supported and have been behind every (so far) man to win the office. The majority spoke and I respected the fact. It's what you're supposed to do. DUH!!

With all its many faults, the USA is still the greatest nation on earth.

No wonder people hate us...plus we'll supersize any meal for just ninety nine cents!

Only in America, the land of obese people and Walmart.

If only every single person spent as much time recruiting and encouraging new voters as they do bitching about ones currently elected into office, it could literally change the world and pretty certain would be a good thing.

Number two:

My kids. There is nothing I wouldn't do or haven't done to help them when they needed it. It's what a momma's supposed to do, and I'm a momma.

A mother fighting for her children is a mighty powerful, resourceful thing and one not to be taken lightly.

Trust me.

Life goes on (if you're lucky) ... I just didn't this realize over half a century ago , life has a lot more hills and valleys along the way than you expect or ask for.

A considerable  amount more than the brochure (birth certificate) seemed to imply in 1960.

We will get there, and will get there together with God as my witness.

Til next time...COTTON

Mentally Bursting

Too tired to post tonight but just wanted to say I have lots to write about. Good thing I'm off tomorrow!

Love is but a song we sing
fears' the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
or make the angels cry

Though the bird is on the wing
and you may not know why

*Come on people now
smile on your brother
everybody get together
and try to love one another right now

Some may come and some may go
He will surely pass
When the one that left us here
returns for us at last
We are but a moment's sunlight
fading in the grass

*Come on people now
smile on your brother
everybody get together
try to love one another right now

*Come on people now
smile on your brother
everybody get together
try to love one another right now

*Come on people now
smile on your brother
everybody get together
try to love one another right now

If you hear the song I sing
you will understand...listen
You hold…

Still My Bestie

Hours away from being twenty years ago I called 911 around four AM and sat on a towel at the end of our driveway as I almost bled to death. Twenty three minutes later the doctor ripped open my guts and gave me a tiny baby girl barely four pounds.

She blossomed quickly and wasn't hard to decide on her as my bestie. Heck, the word bestie wasn't even invented yet but somehow knew that's what she was.

She didn't speak until almost two but when she did, didn't stop. Still hasn't. That's when I knew she was mine.

She's been girly from the get go. Me, not so much.

So we're total opposites, but complete each other in our own dysfunctional way. Sometimes I have to be to be heavy but that's what makes me the momma.

She, on the other hand keeps me in the loop and tells me when I'm being or look ridunkulous. She helps me retain my semi cool status.

Clear crystal blue eyes which seem to SEE your soul. (a good thing) Heart so accepting, makes my own small  chest burst with pride. Her heart's as big as the universe and then some.

She was a thinker then and still a thinker now.

The look on her face in the picture above says it all at the tender age of six. "I think you guys need might need my help. I'm down with that."

It's pretty awesome to raise a hero.

Til next time...COTTON

It's Been a Great Week

Tim's week at home is coming to an end on Tuesday  morning when we take him back to the airport to leave for Texas again. We've made the most of it. He's spent a lot of time with our kids, pups and his closest friends. Tomorrow he's going to the Braves game with both sons and the best man from our wedding, also one of his closest cronies. It's crazy busy at my job right now and when a server have to strike while the iron's hot so just took one extra day off. We spent some much needed time together getting the yards and house shaped up and made a lot of progress.

On my birthday morning he came into our bedroom with a cup of coffee for me while I was watching CNN getting some much needed rest from one of the busiest nights I'd ever had at work. The night before had been complete total (not so much) controlled chaos but made well over four hundred dollars in less than eight hours. That doesn't happen every shift but when does is a blessing beyond belief just to know I have a job that can generate that kind of income.

There were two guys out front of our house unloading a landscaping truck and Tim asked if I had hired someone to do the yards?

I said no but to wait and see what they did before telling them they had the wrong address.

Instead he meandered outside with his own cup of coffee and found out a dear friend of mine had paid for them to pressure wash our house as a birthday present.

EXCELLENT!

What a way to start the day.

I not only have terrific family but terrific friends as well.

Case in point. This was the back of our house before the wash job.

This is the back of our house after!

It only got better.

The extra day I took off was for a cookout. My brother drove up from Orlando. My sis and her hub came over. Tim's long absent sis came over with her son. His Spanish teacher in high school (from Nicaragua) came over and about ten other close friends, including my friend who got me my awesome new job.

I made tons of food (my bro graciously  paid for) with help from Massey and Tim grilled burgers and dogs. Coolers full of beer, soft drinks and water quenched our thirsts as we laughed, ate and reminisced the day away.

My sister gave me a fabulous new under the counter mounted stereo for my kitchen where spend ninety percent of my time at home and her hub installed it as soon as I opened it.

Tim gave me a beautiful bracelet made from two pieces of silverware he bought from a guy in Texas.

 His Spanish teacher gave me a gorgeous orchid and  nice bottle of Zinfandel.

Massey's bestie Michael,  brought me a beautiful bouquet as well and my kitchen was filled with love from others.

Massey bought me two Adirondack chairs for my back patio and Tiki torches to keeps the biting critters away.

Zach got a hair cut. Best present a momma of a twenty three year old hippy could ever get! Even two of the Lost Boys came over to help celebrate.

Traded my AM shift on Sunday for a PM and went to work today feeling a little exhausted with a touch of alcohol overload but ecstatic.

This past year has enlightened me.

Number one, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Number two, all you need is love...and lucky for me have been blessed with both.

"There's nothing you can do that can't be done
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy

There's nothing you can make that can't be made
No one you can save that can't be saved
Nothing you can do but you can learn to be you in time
It's easy

All you need is love
Love is all you need."

Til next time...COTTON