It's Never Too Early To Plan Your Funeral If You Want It Done Right..

 Went to another funeral today...when you get over fifty you attend a lot more funerals than weddings so you just have to make the best of a bad situation. One of my Diddy's high school friend's died. He  lived around the corner from us and their back yard backed up to ours. They had four kids...my parent's had three.

We grew up in a great little suburb of  southwest Atlanta and enjoyed a terrific experience as kids and teens. Everyone knew everyone and everyone knew every one's business. Back then it was called "Checks and balances." High school sports talk was more popular than political views. In my generation the kid's were the most important thing...that is one of the things wrong with our nation today. (In my opinion...which is always right, just ask my husband)

It was a graveside service today and I got there and parked. Being brought up right, I walked the long road around to the grave site instead of walking the short path across the cemetery. When I was little it was always a no-no to walk over graves. They were to be approached from the outside walkways and peered at from the bricks outlining the plot.

Number one...I will cremated. There is enough crap buried in our soil on this earth and it doesn't need me adding to the toxins. Number two I am thinking about this headstone for myself.  It can be placed in our family plot and they can scatter a few of my ashes over it. If I don't start  gaining weight there may not  be enough ashes to scatter but they can always have a cook out the night before and save some of the ashes from the charcoal.

 I also like this headstone...what a great way to advertise my blog! When I go it won't be possible to hold my funeral in a church. I want a keg and plastic cups by the front door before you reach the visitor's book. Maybe a box of wine for the old ladies...White Zinfandel would be my best guess.

I'm also liking this ice cream van thought. If you have to stand around in the sun it may as well be with a Nutty Buddy in your hand. Maybe I should advertise the ice cream van in my obituary. If I die in the summer it would boost my turnout tremendously.

My brother will emcee my funeral and be the headliner. He is the funniest person I know and that's the way I want to go out of this life...with lots of laughs. You cry enough in life... it's a tough road. When you leave it, it should be with smiles and laughter , funny stories and memories that will make every one smile and think fondly of you. (Hopefully)

My sister will be the opening  act and loosen up the crowd with stories from our past...and believe me there are tons of them. I'll have to save them all to a flash drive because her memory is terrible but once reminded of something it all comes back to her.

My sister and I always sit together at funerals but as of late she hesitates to sit by me because I seem to find humor anywhere ...no matter what the situation. In my opinion the worse the situation , the greater  need  for a smile!  Come to think of it,  THAT would be a great epitaph!

I've gotten pretty savvy at this funeral thing and told my sister we need to look at the guest book so we will have a heads up on all the people that recognize us before we recognize them. We were at one recent funeral and after cruising through the pages of the guest book before taking our seats my sister saw a guy coming down the aisle of the church with a beard a foot long and sunglasses on. She asked me "Who is HE?" I said quietly said "He's the lead singer for ZZ Topp.' We couldn't stop laughing for a good ten minutes.

 It didn't help that the singer was a nervous wreck and sounded like Peter Brady going through puberty. I will not have anyone singing at my funeral unless Adele or Nora Jones agree to sing.

I don't mind funerals at all.
It is the last time you can show up for a person and it mean the most.
Taking time out of your day and life to  let another person know you have made an effort to come show your respects....in my book means a heckuva lot.

You can always send a card later, but it never means as much as  looking up when one of your loved one's have died and see people from your childhood , workplace or high school  walk up and give you a hug in your time of despair. It is a mighty feeling and one that genuinely means something and will be remembered.

I currently have my funeral plans saved on my computer. I am specific and I am firm. No tears unless they are from laughter. No regrets...they don't matter, that's why they are called regrets. I want to go out with laughter and even a few gasps. I want people to remember me the way I lived not the way I died.

The funeral today was a sweet service and very emotional. He was a veteran and the Navy was in full  attendance. His grandson stood graveside in  full military dress...standing stoically throughout the service and never moving a muscle, hands folded behind his back and  feet firmly planted.

He presented his grandmother the folded flag and I was  reminded once again how proud I am to be an American.

It was a proud moment to be there. It was a moment  I was glad I didn't miss.

Till next time...COTTON