And I Thought Women Were Smart...

I was talking to my sister earlier tonight about two women I waited on at work a few weeks ago. One of the women is a regular and she brought her friend in for her birthday. The friend recognized my name and said she went to the same high school  I did but graduated before my sister. My sister is seven years older than me and is fifty eight.

The woman treating  her friend to lunch said buoyantly  "Guess how old she is! You'll never guess... she looks GREAT for her age! Go ahead and guess, you'll never believe it! Go ahead..just take a guess!"

I may be stupid but I'm not THAT stupid.

I felt like saying "Could I guess her weight instead?"

Thinking carefully and choosing my words wisely ... knowing she was older than my sister,  I said "I'd say you are fifty nine."

My regular customer proudly corrected me and said "She is sixty four!! Can you even believe it?"

I think the snow white running shoes that had obviously never seen a track or trail and the blue jeans with an elastic stretch band confirmed my original mental guess but I thought to myself...  "What is this woman thinking, asking me to guess the age of a woman who looks pretty good...but looks her age?"

I once asked a woman years ago when her baby was due and learned to never do it again . Been there...done that and I felt bad for weeks. On the upside maybe she started doing sit ups before she went to bed. Am I a helper? YES I am!!

Women, especially in the south... don't mind helpin'.

I was reminded of this fact today at work. I was at work for a twelve hour shift when Mr. Menopause caused me to start my lately always erratic cycle two weeks early and without warning. Some months I go without a cycle and then suddenly I have two in a month. Tim came to bring me a couple of plugs and I handed him a twenty and asked him to buy dog food on his way home. I handed him a lottery ticket I  bought on the way home from work last night  and said "You can check this ticket too, maybe we won."

He replied, "It wasn't a winner."

I asked if he had found it in my work apron and checked it before I left for work and he said "No one won  last night."

The owner's wife of the restaurant I work for was standing next to me,  and with arms folded and her head bobbing up and down like a bobble head doll said "Have you checked to see if you MAY have at LEAST won a free ticket...have you  thought about THAT?"

Tim looked at me with a look on his face that said "You need to work less...now I know where you're gettin' it!"

We laughed about it for at least two hours. By "We" I mean the women at work. The owner  simply said " Tell Tim, welcome to MY world."

You gotta love southern women...if you don't,  you  either live a life sentence with them or serve a life sentence for killing 'em... and don't think any of  OUR friends will  come  visit you ...  and look out for sharp  shooters in the excercise yard, we're a mean bunch when we're pissed!

Til next time...COTTON