Another Year On This Side of The Dirt...Feeling Pretty Spry (Sometimes)

One hour ago I turned fifty one. It feels like I turned twenty one just  a few months back and somehow fast forwarded into being over half a century old. How it happened I'm not sure but feel lucky to have made it this far. I've overcome obstacles I could have controlled but didn't and overcome some I couldn't control but somehow did. In my book that's batting a pretty good average. I look in the mirror and see a woman who gets AARP notices in the mail but chooses to ignore them. I see a woman who has fought battles and lost and has also fought battles and won...once again I am batting 500.

 I see a woman I vaguely remember... a happy skinny girl without a care in the world who had the greatest parents , family and existence one kid could ever hope to have.

 I also see a girl who witnessed her mother's death  while out shopping with her Mom and the oldest sibling. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I can remember the look in my mama's eyes as she looked at me one last time. I can remember the look of panic on my older sister's face and the look of resignation when my Diddy got there to see her carted off into an ambulance. She was gone...

I remember the years of getting over my remorse of being a brat to my mama. I remember how many years it took me to get my life back on track. Most of all I remember how my Diddy loved me while I fumbled my way through my twenties and got me out of jam after jam after jam.

Years after that I watched my Diddy die in  ten days...West Nile Virus ain't a real pretty way to go but it sure brings you  closer to your brother and sister. It is a bond that has remained vivid, strong and made us a tighter albeit smaller family.

I know now what it is to be an adult. I know now what it is to love your kids so much that it is an actual physical ache and often an emotional heart ache.

I know now that life is a heck of a lot tougher than I thought it would be.

I know now that I have earned every gray hair on my head... every wrinkle  and even that ONE curly hair that sporadically sprouts out of my chin seemingly coming out of nowhere,   totally grossing me out.

It seems insane to me that I was so well off  financially three years ago and  since then have  applied for food stamps, put my kid's on medicaid  and not only drawn unemployment for the first time in my life but had to file for bankruptcy to just keep my house.

I feel like firing everyone in Washington...they are obviously idiots. They don't think about US but tend more to think about how THEM . (Sore spot with me)

Luckily I am a strong southern gal with so many friends and so much family that love me,  that I muddled through. I have so many people to pay back  it may make the national deficit look smaller.

As my brother in law has pointed out..."When you wake up on THIS side of the dirt it's a good day."

I have been put through the mill but  have been saved by many. I have been shown love like no body's "Bid-Ness."

I may be getting old and I am... but I am one BLESSED old person!

You can dye your hair, you can pluck out random gross facial hairs but if  you can return to  being "Un-poor" (as my daughter calls our future status) you have made the milestone. You are living the American dream.

I am living the American dream because in the past two years  I have been shown more love and generosity than a person should be given in a lifetime.

I've had people, churches, strangers , family and friends give freely and unconditionally.

So I'm older today...If it wasn't for all of you, I wouldn't even be here!

Don't tell "ME" Happy Birthday...let me tell you all "Thank You."

Til next time...COTTON