Being a Parent Can Be Such A Mother

The obvious pun intended... Why didn't anyone tell me what a hard job it was to be a parent? You spend at least least twenty years per child, worrying, caring and giving.. to have it all slapped in your face at certain times; thinking to yourself... "IF THEY ONLY KNEW WHAT I KNOW"!!! I love my children beyond belief or comprehension, and they are my main reason for living. But sometimes as a parent, you just begin to feel beaten down...outweighed by their complaints and issues, and want to smack them in the head like a "V-8" commercial, and say "HEY!! Wake up and realize that I am a LOT smarter than I seem, and the older you get...the smarter I will appear to be." Teens", especially... are lazy, unprepared not only for their day, but their life as well. It is an extreme effort on a parent's part not to ride them on a daily basis, and to still be positive with them. I am admitting this fact freely and voluntarily. But in my own admission... all three of my kids have been spoiled by no other than me; therefore they are for the most part "Creatures" of my own invention. But how can you NOT spoil and GIVE and GIVE to the humans that YOU have created ? They are the heart and soul of your life... the reason that you get up every morning and go to a job that you could have NEVER imagined ending up with... But you did. And you know why? Because we never listened to our OWN parents... never took their advice or opportunities that they gave to us when we were young. And now, I sit like a lame duck... knowing that both of my parents are up in Heaven, smiling down on me with a knowing nod.... "MAYBE NOW YOU GET IT "! But how to get this point across to my kids with any sense of diplomacy is absolutely and totally not only breaking my bank account... but my heart. Sometimes I think that they hate me... and I KNOW this is not true... but they just do not understand that whether they like it or not, believe it or not... we ARE parents for a reason. I absolutely remember being a teenager, and thinking that my parents were the biggest "fuddie-duddies" on the face of the Earth. But they stuck by me, encouraged me... until my Mom dropped dead in a store when I was seventeen. That was the day that my entire life and being changed so dramatically that only a person that was in my shoes (or flip flops) on that day could understand or comprehend. In thirty seconds, the woman that I was making fun of a minute ago, was gone from my life forever.. no time for regrets, apologies or thank yous. I am truly hopeful that my kids don't have to experience that; but in the same breath... I hope that they come on their own, to realize that I am ACTUALLY their champion, not their foe. I suppose my own parents had to develop a thick skin.. a way to disregard the comments, complaints, roll of the eyes and smirks that I know I gave them. My wish now is to learn how they did it... how did they survive, raising three kids, working blue collar jobs and still managing to give us everything we needed ? I will totally admit that some days I can be a BEE-"ACH"... but I feel that for the most part, I give a heck of a lot more than I ask for. Thank the Lord, my kids don't read my blog... but THANK YOU for reading, and giving me an outlet for the hardest thing I have ever done in my 48 years... raising three kids, and trying to make it all work out... THEIR happiness, THEIR success, and THEIR one day realization that I did it ALL for them. It is not that I want a medal or any kind of recognition, I just want to have three kids that live their life to the fullest potential, and greatest success that they can achieve. I have to have somebody to be able to come take care of me when I am old... and if they don't quit this silliness.... it will be sooner than I had hoped for.... They aren't gonna move into the assisted living home with ME !! ( Then they would have to help)... and from all I have learned about raising kids.... even if it makes them hate us for a while... in the long run... the hardest lessons are the best learned. Shout out to the kids.... You may hate me now... but you will thank me for it later... and know that I have always KNOWN that even if you don't show it or act like it... I KNOW YOU LOVE ME... and I LOVE YOU RIGHT BACK!!!