Yesterday wasn't really a banner day for me. My back's still hurting and I had to get up early for a field trip with Zach, my youngest son who is nineteen seemingly going on 14 with the mind of Bill Gates but the motivation of a slug when it's really tired. He made some bad choices last year and although I was tremendously disappointed, I still love him just the same...maybe even a little more now. He was forced to own up to his mistake and I had to switch to my tough love mode and let him sit in jail overnight although it nearly killed me. With our "Gran Pa" of a swift justice system his court date has been put off for nearly a year. Last week I got the notice...be there at 8:30 on Wednesday for arraignment.
I was going to just let him take my car, my husband wasn't going he said "The boy's nineteen he should have known better. Let him grow up." I was worried they'd lock him up and I'd be without a car for work that afternoon so I took him. We screamed into the parking lot one minute before he was due there and people were lined up outside of the courthouse like they were going to a concert. From the looks of the line we were attending a Snoop Dog concert with Hank Williams, Jr. as the opening act. It was the most despairing group of people I have ever seen. Once ushered through the metal detectors we were all herded into a court room intended to hold maybe a hundred people...there were over 300 of us there to see the show. Zach was standing against a wall that was already three people deep when a woman asked me as I entered if I needed a public defender? I said "Maybe" and went to ask Zach if he had signed up for one. He said no so I shoved him back to the table where all the "Concert" goers were signing up for free legal assistance.
After almost a hour I spotted one empty seat in the middle of the room and scooted between the Crips and Bloods, homeless vagrants and obvious totally red neck scums of the earth and took a seat. My back was killing me. It was embarrassing number one because I was even there. It was embarrassing number two because a lot of the lawyers in the courtroom come in to eat at the restaurant where I work.
Almost three hours later we got a court date and an attorney.
The things you'll do for your kids. (As Massey would say SMHS.)
Today was a better day although I dreaded it as well. My one day off would be spent on a bus carting forty screaming girls to their chorus festival. School buses are not known as smooth riding vehicles and I had foregone wearing my back brace. I already LOOK old...if I was going to wear a back brace I may as well have worn a sign around my neck "Massey's mom's an ole fart."
We got to the Festival site and as the girls milled around out front I found a nice sturdy pole to lean against pressing my shoulders to it for some relief. Another mom that went was cute as a button, at least ten years younger than me but we quickly became friends. The place was crawling with teen age girls all with their fancy hair do's and all tucking their cell phones into their bra as they entered the door. I mentioned to the other mom "When did bobby pins become a hair accessory or decoration?"
When I was a teen you did all you could to hide bobby pins. You placed them where they would never show.
Girl after girl after girl walked by us today with bobby pins all over their heads. Some in Cris Cross designs or in patterns on their head...all for the world to see. Had there been a metal detector on THIS field trip the line would have been longer than the one at the courthouse yesterday. They were using them like they were a bow or a cute clip they picked up at Claire's with their mom's money. It totally baffled me!
The girl's knocked it out of the park and got straight superior ratings. We loaded the rickety ole bus for the ride back home and to my amazement were even louder than they were on the ride there.
So I'm a mom. Not a mom of perfect kids but I'm a mom none the less. I have kid's that have floundered and I have kid's that seem to flourish. It's a nice mix . It's called "Life."
You take the good with the bad. You try to forget the bad times and relish the good. Regardless of how it goes you simply love your kids and try to be there for them. Some times you feel bad about the situation they are in and sometimes you are proud to be there to witness it.
The important thing to me is that I will ALWAYS be there for my kids. They make me proud and sometimes disappoint me. They worry me to death and they are most probably the reason for most of my aches and pains but I wouldn't have it any other way and even if offered a "Do Over" from a magic Genie...I'd turn the offer down.
I've done my best. (at least I hope so) I have seen them stumble and falter, seen them succeed and have stuck by them either way.
It's not like "I" got it right the first time, not even the second but I kept on keeping on and had support from amazing family, many friends and mentors.
To my kids and the rest of young people everywhere...in the words of Dr. Seuss:
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”
Til next time....COTTON
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