Today is my daughter's thirteenth birthday.
That also means that my Mother died thirty one years ago on this day.
13
31
Those two numbers seem so connected for me on this particular day. Complete opposites...yet both have such a significant meaning.
Thirty one years ago I was a seventeen year old, left numb and quivering with the desperate realization that my Mother was gone from my life forever. It has been a struggle and somewhat a weight on my shoulders.
Thirty one years later, I have a thirteen year old daughter who was born on the day that my Mother died. A daughter that is named after her...and keeps my Mother alive to me every single time I speak my daughter's name.
My heart breaks to not be able to see them together, or have them interact as grandparent and grandchild.
But if God did ONE thing miraculous in my life (and He has done MANY)...it was most certainly sending me my youngest child as a joyful blessing to replace the most horrible memory of losing one of the greatest people that I ever had the honor of being born to.
How can it possibly be that thirty one years have gone by?
How can it be that God sent Massey to me on the same day that he took my Mother?
I just do not think it is coincidence. Actually I KNOW that it isn't.
He sent me my daughter to fill the void, to make this day a happier one...and to make my life all the greater.
I still mourn the loss of my Mother...always will.
But now August 19 is my daughter's birthday. It is also the day that my Mother died...but the day that God gave it back to be to be a happy day.
A day that my Mother found her home in Heaven, and a day that my beautiful girl found her way into my life.
You have to take the good along with the bad. You have to find reason with God's decisions and plans...and you have to find a way to have it all make sense in your heart and mind.
I will miss my Mother forever, and the hurt hasn't faded much after thirty one years.
What this experience HAS done, is give me a daughter who reminds me of my Mother and reminds me that although God took my Mother from me on August 19...He also gave me my daughter on August 19. My Mother's birthday in Heaven...and my daughter's birthday on earth.
LIFE TAKES AND GIVES!!
It is up to us to find the beauty and meaning... to enjoy what we are left with, and make the best of the situations and decisions that are ultimately out of our hands...but to realize as well that luckily we are all in God's hands...and that is a wonderful place to be.
Happy Birthday "Mama"
and Happy Birthday "Massey".
I love you both, and YOU BOTH make me the person that I strive to be. I hope that I don't let either of you down.
With a full heart and complete sense of gratitude to you both...This post is for the both of you...and for my own comfort as well.
With love and admiration,
Your daughter...and Massey's mother... till next time COTTON
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1 comment:
Kelly, I remember like it was yesterday the day that your Mom passed away. I think I told you this a few months ago. I remember walking up to your house, and it seemed like hundreds of people were sitting on the bank of your lawn, but you could hear a pin drop! Everyone was in such shock that that could happen to someone so vivacious! Your Mom would be proud of you and Massey!
Stella
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