Taking A Leap...Again

I tried to apply for a car loan the week after Tim left for Texas back in February. First I tried the car dealership and was just a bit more than extremely embarrassing, to say the least. At least I didn't know any of the people but unfortunately they all now knew me (and my lack of credit).

No worries.

I went to the credit union where I belonged and tried again with even worse results. I left the lobby making a mental note to always use the drive through or ATM from now on.

 The guy from the car dealership called me the next day with semi good news. If we could get our mortgage current thought he could swing me a loan.

Well, swing this! (I wanted to say)

Over the past five years we have gone from being almost six months behind on our mortgage to not only still making a payment every month but caught up to only being eight weeks behind. With bills still pouring in and both starting new jobs we managed the seemingly impossible (to us) and made four extra payments over the past year.

 Let me tell ya folks, that ain't just whistlin' Dixie as us southern gals say. Besides that I had bought and paid for two other used vehicles trying to get us all back and forth. Tim left for Texas in one and until I bought the other either bummed or borrowed rides for months on end. The third car we'd bought for over six grand still didn't run and had to be towed home from the airport when broke down on me after driving it less than two weeks.

I felt more like screaming obscenities and sometimes did .

With a stroke of (our style) luck, Zach had backed into the beam between the garage doors and knocked the supporting beam a good half foot out from the house. State Farm cut me a check after getting my first estimate. I shopped around until found a guy who could do it for quite a bit less and found myself left with money for an extra house note and then some! Granted he didn't paint but getting the mortgage finally caught up was well worth it.  Remind me to send Zach a Thank You note (not) but  all worked out for the best in the end.

I went back to the car dealership with proof our mortgage was current and BAM, I got approved for a loan!

I bought the cheapest car on the lot but was brand new, covered with all kind of warranties and got great gas mileage.

I never even asked to see the car or ask what color it was.

I  knew what color it was.

It was the color "New" and all that mattered besides the low monthly payment.

When I went to sign the papers in the credit office I didn't even want to know the interest rate with our messed up credit. We used to be in the high seven hundred range but were currently lucky to be batting five hundred. I was shocked when (my instantly new bestie) told me it was 3.9 percent...and Thank You Jesus!

The salesman was maybe (hopefully) a bit older than me but a wonderful "Ole Codger" and extremely nice and polite. The guy actually acted like I was a person with money to spend and appreciated feeling like that again!

We ain't got a lot of money but at least we got enough now.

I call that truly blessed.

After all was said and done, Ole Codger finally took me out to see my brand new, gas filled and shiny red little quadrangle of a car.

He sat in the passenger seat and I sat in control central aka the driver's.

He first told me about how the car had blue tooth so everything  could be hands free including text, Internet searches,music and phone.

I kinda liked that.

I got some good kids. It's not like they are perfect but they aren't hooked on crack either.

They instead hold crack almost twenty four seven in the form of cellular devices. I've come to terms with it when we're at home. It's like they've discovered the first hand held AM transistor radio that could even swing from their wrist. Massey is really hooked and Zach would come in a close second if he remembered to charge his phone.

So the Ole Codger hit a button on the dashboard of my new little car and screamed "PHONE!!!" so loud I jumped.

"There's your voice command" he said. "Who you wanna call?"

I chose home since no one was there.

"HOME!!!" he screamed again but I was ready that time. I just smiled.

My techno savvy kids would figure this out in no time with no instruction and was all that mattered to me if they were gonna drive this car.

I came back home with my new Lil' Car and continued what I'd been doing. Cleaning Ivy off the far end of my house. It turned into Kudzu a few years back but on the far back burner for about five years.

Not any more!

Almost half gone, found an old propane tank, shook my head and kept on going.

Had to saw down three trees we never planted in the first place but dad gummit you could see the house (and gas meter) again! Side note: got a letter from the gas company saying they had a hard time finding the meter to read.

Well read it now bitch!!

Zach hauled all the limbs and ivy to the back fire pit today (after seeing what his ole momma did with her new fancy dancy fifteen dollar saw and thank goodness  was also smart enough to  clean out)...

Trust me, it's full now and ready to roar!

It's been a hike and sometimes uphill battle but we've made it almost back to where it started.

SHUT UP!!

I keep waiting for that twentieth shoe to drop but think about it less and less.

That in itself is progress!

The chips fell and had to actually scramble for a few of them but made it.

All said and done and even looking back, I've had a pretty decent run.

It's always better to be seen than viewed and have never been one someone forgets... whether it be good or bad.

Just make your mark in this world.

Try your best to be the type of person who brings a smile to someone's face when mentioned and make sure you deserve that smile.

All the rest is gravy, trust me.

Til next time and beyond,

COTTON

The Purge

I'm hoping the garbage man is in a really good mood tomorrow. We've cleaned every closet and drawer and tossed stuff that's been holding my garage hostage for years. Why keep a broken ironing board for three years?

Trust me, this is a MAJOR improvement.

I weeded my flower beds, covered with pine straw and added a new layer of pebbles around the edges. I trimmed the bushes overtaking the front of our house and found out we lived in a blue house. It's not the Biltmore House but then again, none of us are Biltmores.

All ten of my nails are broken and smell worse than the dogs did before Massey and Zach bathed them today.

It's not done but a lot closer to being done.

I even rode ole Johnny Dear up to the front of the subdivision and cut there too. I'll have to admit weed eating around the dead possum carcass in the ditch was disgusting with a billion flies around and on it but at least it's done now. The possum seems to be about halfway done too.

Massey and Zach went grocery shopping for me this morning and even paid for them. Then they came home and helped in the yards, bathed all three mutts and Massey even cut my elderly neighbors yard. I usually do it but she got no argument from me and did a nice job.

I cleaned up all the clippings from the yard and added them to the already redunkulous pile of bags by the street.

Zach grilled out steaks for us. I made a big salad, sauteed some mushrooms and onions, cooked some rolls and fried some crinkle cuts.

Dang, I should have had six or seven kids! Imagine what I could get done with a whole pack of 'em helping me. Then again, if I had that many they would probably band together and turn on me in a united force of protest.

I'm running the hottest bath I can, adding a pot of boiling water (our hot water heater ain't the greatest) soaking in my garden tub and calling it a day...an excellent  day.

When I came across the above post it was like an epiphany to me.

Life may be tough but even on the toughest days always beats the alternative.

Live, love, laugh.

Till next time..COTTON

Oh Yeah Baby!

Actually the above photo looks more like me than the #tbt picture I posted on Facebook, and that one was pretty close.

Seems that after five long years I've also got my MoJo back.

Excellent!

Last year this time I was studying hard to seemingly become a brain surgeon in a new job where was totally  a fish out of water and totally overwhelmed. It took me a month to just figure out how to get to and from the job without getting lost or disoriented. I was a nervous wreck my entire first six months on the floor at work. After seven months of riding MARTA to work I was making enough to drive all the way to the international terminal, park and ride the shuttle two minutes to the front door, breeze through a much shorter security checkpoint and walk into the restaurant one minute later.

 I still shake my head about the first time I parked at international. It costs twelve dollars a day but can sleep an hour later, leave the house forty five minutes later and be home an hour earlier. Well worth it when you're a fifty five year old tired skinny woman, still working six days a week and still learning how to perform a lobotomy the correct and proper way.

I was all pumped the first time I parked there and remember the feeling of satisfaction when I walked back to my car the first night. I didn't even have to ride a shuttle, just walked across the breezeway to my car sitting ten feet away. I tucked my twelve dollars into my shirt pocket before driving off and approaching the booth to pay.

The woman who took my ticket said "That will be thirty two dollars". I quickly told her I was an employee and only had to pay twelve (feeling puffed with pride) to park in the deck. She (even more) quickly told me I parked in hourly parking, not the twelve dollar lot. I threw up in my mouth a little but gave her twenty more dollars. Ironically enough was the first time I'd ever made over four hundred dollars on a shift and although was painful to pay still had almost four Bens to take home.

You live, you learn.

Sometimes you have to learn the hard way but at least if  lucky get to live as well.

We're not rich by any means (other than blessings) but have fought our way back and knocking on a door which says "Almost Middle Class".

Dang, I wish it had a door bell, I really want back in!

If my job and Tim's hopefully continue to be what they are now we should easily be able to retire when I'm only eighty three.

I'm going to have to tell you, I'm pretty pumped!

All kidding aside (for a quick second) also feels pretty wonderful to have not had utilities cut off or worried about paying them in almost a year.

THAT my friends, is progress!

You are born, then eventually learn (if lucky) to walk. You take baby steps but somehow get to your destination.

 You spend (if lucky again) the next two decades without a care in the world and nothing but happiness...even if you do look like a boy and have horrific hair.

Before you know it suddenly (trust me is the blink of an eye) are almost middle aged, raising kids who you watched learn from baby steps.

The cycle continues...once again. (if you're lucky)



Here's the thing.

Tim and I had to start over five years ago. We were flat on our backs clawing desperately to simply just "Get up" but we did.

Family, friends, even strangers held us up and encouraged us to take another step, paving and sometimes (often) paying the way.

We would've never made it if not for my crazy sometimes (almost, well always) over the top family but a group of people I'd pick in a second if had to be stranded with seemingly no way out.

There's a "Survivor" episode in the jungle of life for ya!

It would be called "Leeches can't even stop a Leach".

Looking at all these pictures make me smile. I am fifty five years old but a really lucky girl.

It all goes back to the beginning.

Life is essentially just  baby steps, from your first step to your last. All you have to do is put one foot in front of the other every day of your life and hope it's a long walk, even if some of the walk is up hill.

I may be going out on a limb here (and never know how strong limbs are) but think we may just have sorta kinda recovered ... almost.

I feel fabulous, we feel fabulous and PLEASE nobody wake us up, but if you do at least now know we can handle it.

It takes a village and it takes a family. We were lucky enough to have both.

COTTON

Finally Feel Healed

This is how I felt for five long years...beat slap up. It's actually a picture from when I fell in our kitchen one night after slipping on a towel we had by the back door for the dogs to wipe their paws during a muddy winter. I hit my head on the corner of the kitchen table and split my head wide open. I still have the scar and felt dizzy (er) for at least a year.

It wasn't much fun.

Neither were the past five years but have certainly learned some important lessons, the first one being "Love is all you need". All other lessons paled in comparison but learned from them all just the same.

I finally feel like a new old  me.

With my new job and Tim's as well we've made tremendous strides, financially, personally and emotionally.

Even though now we're a thousand miles apart has been a win/win rather than the lose/lose/lose we survived for five years with what seemed like all the love in the world.

This is a perfect concept of life and wonderful way to live it.

We had it all and was pretty satisfying for over two decades. Then we both lost our income, savings and retirement plans but gained much more in return. Unfortunately that didn't pay the bills and caused what I consider unnecessary stress (gray hair and wrinkles) but in the grand scheme of things a microscopic price to pay (or sometimes not pay) but in the end will be just a tiny blip on the radar of our (hopefully) long lives.

I used to feel that way.

Now feel like sending Him a Thank you note:

"Dear Big Guy,
    I'm older, skinnier, grayer and more wrinkled but feel like a pretty decent person who now views life from all angles instead of a skewed vision of what I expected it to be. Hey... everybody needs a slap in the face every now and then.
    Maybe You slapped me a little more because I really am a bad-ass! Either way, thanks for seeing us through and thanks for finally opening not only a window but French double doors.

                                  Sincerely, (besides YOU would know if I wasn't)

                                                                                                            Cotton"

Tim left in  late February, couldn't make it back for Massey's baptism last week and won't be home (for a weeks vacation) until the end of July.

That's a long time, even considering we needed not only his new job but a break from each other. (or probably him from me)

I was at the grocery store the other day and picked up a couple of cards for some "Pay it Forward".

I got Tim a card too. It said "Remember, whether it's a good day or a bad day...It's always a LOVE-you day."

I know he misses our kids, his new grand daughter who he hasn't met, all three slobbering pups and probably even my psycho self by now. (or at least my cooking)

Both the kids here at home signed it. Massey wrote a sweet note to him. Zach signed  "Zachary Cotton" (like it was a summons or speeding ticket) and Massey told me they left the other side blank for me to write a love note to daddy.

I thought on it for two days while the card sat on the computer table.

Here's what I decided to add. (via a Paulo Coelho wisdom)

"To love someone is nothing, to be loved by someone is something. But to be loved by the one you love is everything."  

Not my own words but exactly how I feel.

All said and done...we made out pretty well.

HUGE pun come the end of July!

Til next time...COTTON

Now You Know

I picked Massey up from college for the summer on Thursday. She started her new job on Saturday morning with me at eight thirty (ish) and yes I was running late.

She was on her first day of training, scheduled to follow the server assistant and begin learning how to do her new job. Training lasts two weeks.

There was no server assistant to follow so instead I taught her the table numbers first and showed her around the back of the kitchen. We're usually slow until after noon but as Murphy's law would have it was balls to the walls busy from the minute we rolled the gates back to open.

She did great!

Number one she learned the table numbers about seven days quicker than I did and gave it her all the entire day shift. Let me point out day shifts start at eight thirty in the morning and if busy can last well until after five in the late afternoon, which this one did.

Heck, even I was pooped.

Technically no one had to tip her out since was in training but the girl made over fifty bucks in tip out plus training pay and earned every penny.

Now she really knows how hard I work...often six days a week, at well over half a century old weighing in at nine five pounds. (after eating and wearing my heavy Danskos)

In a tired but celebratory mood we stopped by Walmart to pick up a gallon of milk on our way home but spent $117.00 by the time we checked out. Her feet were killing her (welcome to my world) so we got her some good gel inserts for her work shoes. Bought all new replacement bulbs for the outdoor flood and porch lights, a few groceries, staples and...

BAM!!

"That will be one hundred seventeen dollars and fifty eight cents" so sayeth the woman ringing us up.

I was able to pay cash (always a good thing) and went home with my new toys aka staples for the house; replacements for broken things (switches knobs hooks and dials) and even eight new cereal bowls for two bucks. We eat a lot of cereal and the price was screaming "BUY ME!" so I did.

Massey went right from cramming for and taking her finals in down town Atlanta while going through a tedious process of getting hired in a security scrutinized , FBI background checked, finger printed and badge required part time job in the world's busiest airport to being thrown on the floor the minute the doors opened in one of the most exclusive restaurants in Atlanta who also happened to have one inside the new international terminal, was busy from the jump but somehow managed to not only get through but knocked it out of the park.

Yep,  seems my kids have been paying attention to me and their father these past few years!

Actions speak louder than words and kids never listen much to their parents anyway.

The relief has finally been released and our life is once again grinding but now forward  with much appreciated and pleasant  good fortune and lots of sweat and tears.

As a raging half century old hot flasher,  was just the breeze I needed to feel and know Tim was sweating even more.

We thrived at first and enjoyed it immensely.

Then survived the barren valley four years (pun intended) wandering, worrying and wondering but with much help and love from above and all around us are hiking back up at a surprisingly rapid pace, thanks to both having great new jobs a thousand miles apart yet bringing us closer together.

For (quite) a while felt like we should receive a Purple Heart in a big bodacious ceremony if survived.

Now I know.

Life isn't a race to be won but something to be experienced and learn from.

Life is also ironic.

The company I now work for has a list of fourteen steps for success and one is "Learning and Growing".

Massey, just like me has luckily landed in a great place to learn and grow....and prosper!

Enjoy the ride.

That says it all.

Til next time...COTTON