Teege

                            This is Timothy Shawn Cotton Jr and Timothy Shawn Cotton Sr.

When I first met my husband, TJ had just turned two. Tomorrow he turns thirty two. Although 'biologically'  TJ is considered  my stepson; I have never regarded or thought of him as anything other than my first and oldest  child. He's simply always been my oldest child, brought into this world by another mother. Custody was never an issue. He was well loved no matter which mother he happened to be with, on any given day, at any given time. I am extremely grateful to her for always allowing me to be a part of his life.

Just like any other boy with two good (albeit divorced) parents, decided late in his tweens that he wanted to live with his father. It had absolutely nothing to do with her; she was (still is) a great mom to him. It had more to do with him wanting to be closer to his dad as he began to grow into a young man of his own.

It was an adjustment for us all and probably the hardest thing his mother ever had to do, but she respected his request and let him come live with us. I can't even begin to imagine how hard that was for her to do, but will always respect her for respecting his young request.

Yeah, holidays were always tough on TJ after that... he felt torn and wracked with guilt no matter which home he happened to choose for his holiday celebration. No one likes to eat two turkey dinners back to back or spend most of their time in the car to going to and from each place, with no time to truly enjoy or relax at either one.

In hindsight, I feel terrible about that and should have been the bigger person. Sometimes love is selfish.

Zach and TJ were pretty close as kids. Then Zach (started to) grow into his 'angst' age. In other words, he didn't like anyone.

During those years, TJ and Massey grew closer...yet another new chapter in their siblings equation.

TJ went through some mistakes and trials of his own as well...all kids do. I'd rather my kids make mistakes and wrong decisions while young and carefree than decide to do it when they have obligations and a family of their own to support .

He decided to take a year off and move to Australia...all alone, to find his self and explore the world.

I'm not too sure which side of his family missed him more. It was probably a tie but both sides came together and sent him off together.

Then he came back state side. He lived with us for a while, when we were at our lowest but was welcomed anyway. He floundered a bit but one again found his way. He worked with me for a while and rocked it, then rocketed to even bigger and better things.



He never turned back or gave up but instead has gone on to be an incredibly successful man.

He has a family of his own now. Same scenario...met someone with a child and  whole heartedly claimed the child as his own, and done an amazing job as a step dad.. She's as much my grand daughter as he is my son. He's provided for them all and they even welcomed another family member, my first biological grand child but is the second grand to me... another from another mother!

Yes they have had struggles. What family doesn't?

TJ put on his helmet of  adult life and has never given up.


Once again it has been a battle of wanting to take sides, but I won't. I know they are having a hard time finding the way emotionally and mentally. But they will.

Been there done that.

Raising two young kids ain't easy and hate to tell them both it ain't gonna get easier raising two head strong females.

Here's the thing.

The path you chose is your choice...not your kids' choice.

Tim and I spent almost the last ten years of our relationship borderline rolling our eyes at each other on an hourly basis, thinking "Why the hell am I still with you?"

Here's why.

You accept the invitation from each other to this dance of life.

You would had never accepted it if  you didn't  think it was a good decision.

You'll figure it out. We all will. Together.

Love and learn.

Step back from moments.

Tim and I do it on a daily basis after almost thirty years.


Life is more precious than you think and can be gone in less than a second.

Happiest of Birthdays, TJ.

You are a pretty awesome young man and feel grateful to have followed and been a part of your journey onto even greater things.

Do it, Kid!

COTTON

It Speaks To Me

Totally getting rid of the porn mirrors in the master bedroom but besides that, is a keeper.

When you go and buy a house at our age, you're specific about what you want. It's the last home you'll buy and I, for one, want to be happy where I die.

Believe it or not my girl and bestie, Massey found this house the very same day it came on the market.

Blue ribbon for Massey!



Ironically enough is located on Georgia Ave. in St. Cloud, where we want to live.

It's not as big as our Georgia house but need to downside anyway, as I wind down my years with Fang.

I got off early from work today and drove to the house, a fifteen minute drive.

Tim couldn't believe I actually got out of my car and knocked on the door. I was kinda on the fence too but thought, what the hell.

Yes it looked larger in the video, but less house to clean is very okay in my book.

 The drive in was awesome. Old school homes, moss hanging off every tree lining the street and people everywhere, enjoying the massive lake on a Sunday afternoon. People picnicking or enjoying the lake. Peeps walking dogs. Cops pulled over on the side of the road, most probs eating dough nuts but there if you needed them.

It's a small town feel.

I'm all about a small town feel.

Their grown daughter opened the front door. I kinda felt (am sorta) stupid but basically told her I'd seen their house on Zillow and had every single thing I wanted in a house after moving from Georgia.

She pushed the screen door open and said "Come on in."

That was my first sign.

They welcomed me right on in, not knowing if I was a maniac or a serial killer.

It may not be the one, who knows..but the feeling was there. It just felt right.

They had so many antiques, even a sewing machine with the foot pedal. Our neighbor back on Bayard Street ( early sixties) had one and can remember her pumping that pedal as she sewed.

Sometimes you have to go with your gut.

It may not be the house for us, but at least we are getting closer.  It's been a decade journey...to simply live out our last few.

I talked with them for over thirty minutes and it just felt right.

When something feels right, there's a reason for that feeling.

Yes I did everything backwards.

I walked up and knocked on their door, unexpected or announced.


But they invited me in.

There's a reason for that as well.


It's even more crazy this is the first house I've been excited enough to venture out and explore on my own.

Be a good person and good things will happen, even if you have to wait.

Till next time..COTTON

Be True To Yourself

"The point is to find out who you are and to be true to that person."

     David Sedaris

I'm a pretty avid reader, always have been.  Half of our storage unit here is filled with all my books and my two huge book shelves. If I had to guess...it's well over two hundred books, not counting the ones I loaned but were never returned. (huge pet peeve)

Hands down, my favorite author is David Sedaris. The only book I've ever read at least fives times is his book "Naked" and get a kick out of it every single time.

He's much like me and finds humor in every situation, no matter how grim.

That's what I'm talking about.

It's been an adjustment...but am learning to accept and actually enjoy it now. After many battles, Tim has finally come to grips with how much writing means to me, albeit two feet away as he sleeps...having to get up before five AM.

We have three months left in this tiny rental house. Tim's requisite for our forever home is a pool. Mine is an office, surrounded by my books and computer.

I don't think I have a switch.

I wake up at odd hours in the middle of the night or early morning. Something comes to mind and simply can't dismiss it. I jot it down or save it on my cell in 'Notes'.

It's a given, I have a lot to say...ask anyone who knows me. (no comments please)

But if you aren't true to yourself, what's the point?

I know I'm not the best person and have many faults, but in the grand scheme of life...think I'm doing okay.

If you worry about others more than you do yourself, Karma will always have your back, be your friend and repay you beyond your wildest belief.

Been there...done that.

Till next time...COTTON

Great Kids Choose Great Friends

My daughter, my youngest, my mother's namesake... is one of the most loving and accepting human beings I've ever met.

And (bonus points) literally came out of 'my' body.

She's always been a good kid but in her late teens, blossomed like a beautiful and exotic orchid.

She worked as a counselor at a Girl Scout camp a couple of years ago and met a girl from England who was working there as well, along with another girl who lived north of Atlanta.

Pretty instantly, she had a bestie from across the pond and another just a nightmare drive away in Atlanta's horrible traffic, especially driving north bound.

She also has a bestie from high school who is also an absolute pleasure to be around.

The kid picks friends wisely.

So whenever she asks if one of them can come stay with us for a visit, never hesitate to say, "Of course they can."

I'd never met her bestie from England  but when Massey said she was coming for a visit thought; if this girl can put up with us, we can (and would) most  certainly put up with her as she dodges, maneuvers around our three dogs and fights with them for space to sit on the couch.

Crazy enough, she had a good time!

Then the next year, her entire family from England came to the States for 'holiday' (as the Brits say) and surprised Massey by showing up at her twenty first birthday party at my sister's house in Senoia...or as my brother calls it "thirty miles east of hell."

It's quite a drive from the city but they all showed up and was hands down the most surprised I've ever seen Massey.

Soon after, we loaded up our truck and moved to Orlandy. Sand that is...every where.

Massey was the one who took the hardest hit. Away from everyone she grew up with, away from her besties both state side and abroad. She was finishing up her degree online and living in a town where she had just three friends. Her uncle, her oldest brother and his future wife.

Did she complain?

Not once.

I guess she was too busy sopping up my snot and dabbing my constantly crying eyes after getting here to find out I didn't have a job after all.

I rebounded quickly (not even close) but finally found a job and after a month or so of feeling sorry for myself started to live again.

Then Massey asked if her bff from high school could come visit?

The more the merrier!

Cutest guy on the planet.

He also survived staying with us and was a wonderful visit. They made me watch "Mean Girls" with them and can't believe I dreaded watching it.

High school...on point!


Then recently Massey asked if another bff, from her gig at the Girl Scout camp could stay with us a couple of days while in Orlando?

If there's one thing us Clampetts love it's having folks to come over and 'set a spell'.

I'd met the girl briefly at Massey's birthday party but quickly came to love her after she mailed me two pair of ear buds for Christmas which are soft as cotton balls in my ears as I now sit silently blogging in my bedroom, with the husband snoring away five feet from me, with my favorite tunes blasting through my head. This wonderful girl even offered to (did) pay for half of Massey's ticket to go to Disney with her for a day while visiting.

Massey's bff from where we used to work at the Atlanta airport even came to visit a while back.

I'm beginning to think people love Massey almost as much as I do.

She's thoughtful, almost as loud as me sometimes... a train wreck in the kitchen but the most beautiful soul anyone could ever be lucky enough to meet.

She's smart. She's dedicated to continuing her education and will be a force heard loud and clear.

Trust me, I know my girl.

She came into this world well over two months early, barely weighing four pounds... almost killing us both. I can still hear her heart monitor going off. Freaked me out every single time. Didn't help my sister's microwave had the same exact beep and spent a lot of time at my sister's house.

Yet (over) twenty one years later, she is a huge part of why I am living.

I can't say or express it enough.

Love is the most powerful tool a person can use.

Yes, I'm a goof ball.

Actually I like being a goof ball.

Never take yourself too seriously. I've learned that time and time again. Guess I'm a slow learner.

Here's the thing.

You can be a rich person or a broke person. You can  be a winner or sometimes crap out.

Life's a gamble.

Roll the dice every day.


You know what I'm gonna do?

Keep on rolling.

Rolling on the river of life... That's me!

Til next time...COTTON