Bad Things Happen In Threes, They Say

After my debacle of a shift at work on Friday, I discovered Saturday that our dear next door neighbor from Georgia had lost his fight with cancer. I went to work today and my cell phone rang soon after walking in the door. It was my sister calling to tell me our cousin had been discovered already gone from this life by her daughter this morning when she went for a visit.

They say bad things come in threes, so certainly hope I'm done for a while.

I knew our former neighbor had been battling cancer for some time. He was diagnosed shortly after we moved to Florida.

Mr Lee, who I always afffectionately called slowLee and his wife lived next door to us for at least ten years. When they moved in, both were already well into their sixties. They only had a push mower and after watching Lee cut their cut grass the first time on a hot humid JawJa day, immediately took over his yard work with my trusty Johnny Dear. He would stand out front the entire time, leaning on the bed of his gigantic dually pickup, watching me. The man never wore a shirt in summer when at home. He was as brown as a berry and always wore his Jesus sandals and white gym shorts which looked to be from the early seventies. No shirt until at least October unless he had to leave the house for something. Then he would pull on his tied dyed tank top.  He went to bed around seven every night and was up before dawn every morning.

He was a retired Navy man who traveled cross country with his wife, living in a RV for years and years before settling down next door to us Clampetts.

I remember the first time they came to eat at Mama Lucia's, where I once worked in Newnan. It is an upscale restaurant featuring Italian and French cuisine. Mr. slowLee came in with his wife, Ms. Claudette to eat. He had on his white gym shorts, Jesus sandals and tie dyed tank top.

Let me interject here that Ms. Claudette is blind. Lee could have left the house naked and she wouldn't know it unless she put her hand on his lap while driving.

After my handy next door husband on one side, Ron moved to Tennessee I quickly learned to go to Mr. slowLee on the other side of our house for help with various problems. Granted he was in his late seventies but had plenty of time to spare. Bless his heart though, he was slower than slow and often times felt like taking my weed eater or whatever else I had taken to him for repair and simply trying to fix it myself with duct tape, gorilla glue or some random nut and bolt.

But Mr. slowLee always, always had time to help me and never seemed to mind. I cut and weed eated their yards for years and years and he was always grateful for my help.

I remember the morning we loaded up the moving truck for Orlando. He moved two camping chairs out to their driveway for both of them (mostly him) to watch our departure. We traded cell phone numbers and promised to stay in touch. Ms. Claudette had her address book in her lap and asked me to enter our new address into it for her.

My nephew and his wife moved into our old house and took over care of Lee's yards after we left.

The first time we went back to visit, Mr. slowLee looked pale and weak. When we went back a year later, he looked pitiful and couldn't even speak. It was heartbreaking.

My sister called me a few days ago. When visiting our old house where her own son lives now, stopped next door to check on Lee. The report wasn't good, from Lee's step daughter, and was down to days if not hours left.


It wasn't the swiftest exit but at least wasn't years and years. He died in his sleep. Claudette was there as well as hospice.

Now Claudette's daughter is having her moved to a nursing facility a couple of exits up the highway.


This also breaks my heart. Claudette is in her eighties, totally blind and now a widow. She will live in a strange place, not being able to see, or know her surroundings, including the people taking care of her. I have given strict instructions to all three of my kids.

Kill me with a pillow. Don't let me die alone and scared, or confused, or being a burden to you.

I don't deserve a lot but I deserve leaving this planet as happy as I was when I came into it.

I've made my marks on life and endured the scars of wrong decisions. I have always tried to pay it  ahead and mostly successfully done so.

Then the third bad thing happened.

                                              One of our oldest cousins died in her sleep.

                                     She had been one of the attendants at my parent's wedding.


Mim's father was killed in the war, shortly after D-Day before she was even born. She never got to meet her own father.

Talk about baggage for life...

Her mother, Lurline remarried and had two more children, with Chuck Clark, giving Mim two sibs and a wonderful step dad.

Mim was a young beauty.

When us three Leach kids were little, our mama never let us ride with our arms stuck out of the car or with coke bottles or any bottles in the car.  

I still remember why.

Shortly after this picture of Mim was taken, she was in a car accident with her mother.  They had a load of empty coke bottles in the car with them to take back to the store for a refund. Her mother lost her little finger because she had her arm propped up in the open window The broken glass also left Mim with scars as well.

Now she had scars on the inside and scars on the outside.

With the same 'three bad thing' theory, Mim lost her own son when he was barely past his teen age years.

My proverbial hat goes off to Mim...not sure I could have even gone on with my life, but she did. Actually she has lost two children, a daughter (six months old) as well who I don't remember. I was only about four or five then.



Her other daughter is so much like her it isn't even funny. She is the spitting image of Mim, with the same dry wit.

I will always miss Mim but glad she has finally gotten to meet her father for the first time. I'm sure he was waiting for her by the Pearly Gates.

Life doesn't come with guarantees and every second of it needs to be cherished because you never know how many minutes or seconds you have left.


The best reason ever, to love large and cherish the time you do have. I recently reconnected with Mim via Nation FB, once her daughter Holly (I am sure) dragged her into the cyber mix. We had several cyber chats and was good to hear from her again. Her posts were always as dry as her humor and always made me smile.

I am beyond blessed to be from a family who give and accept love, unconditionally and always inclusively. We sometimes  go years without seeing each other but that moment, that instant we are all together again, those years apart simply don't matter.

We are family and family is our Forte'.

Mim lost many loved ones in her lifetime but somehow survived. She shrunk into her shell, but who wouldn't?

She has my Kudos for surviving as long as she did, and was most certainly stronger than I would have ever been after all her trials and tragedies.

I dare any one to walk in her shoes and come out smiling and carefree.

I would have been a puddle of tears in the corner of the floor of life...but Mim never was. She was stoic, almost to the point of being dismissive or seemingly uncaring.

That was Mim's shield.

She held that shield up and hid behind it, and can't blame her one damn bit.

I feel honored to have a relative who was braver than brave, in the face of life's sporadically thrown roadblocks to ultimate happiness.

Life threw her curve ball after curve ball...and then some.

She may not have been the best but  did her best.

I salute her.

As should we all.


"And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking. Racing around to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older. Shorter of breath and one day closer to death."

Life is ticking away for us all.


Till next time, COTTON

I've Felt Sick All Day

Zach got  home from work last night around eleven. I was on the computer when he came into  the room and told me a boy he's known since elementary school had just died. Zach repeated kindergarten which means he was a year older than most of his classmates, this kid being one of them. That would make this kid twenty years old.

Sometimes good kids make bad choices.

I know I did. I know my own kids and all kids do. I was one of the lucky ones and my kids have been lucky ones. I learned  from my mistakes, sometimes the hard way but by my late twenties finally figured things out for myself. Zach struggled early. He has ADD and was a tremendous hurdle through most of his school years. He rebelled authority and authority beat him down instead of lifting and helping him up.

Once I started to worry about him in high school I first thought I was being an over protective parent. I have learned since, there is no such thing. If you think there is something amiss with  your kid, you are most probably right.

Zach detested me for a while but I never gave up. I'll never apologize for the snooping, creeping on his Facebook or reading his cell texts. Number one, I paid for his phone, Internet use and he was living under my roof.  All in all it was a two year battle which ended in me having to bail him out, literally. Some of his so called friends hated me but that was okay, it was Zach's love I was concerned about.

Zach made some bad decisions but just like the person I brought him up to be, manned up and paid for his mistake; albeit with encouragement from  the judicial system. The bottom line is, he was one of the lucky ones.

I still worry  about him, all parents worry but he has made me proud and continues to do so. He had to break away from a lot of his friends. He still has his besties and all still  hang out at  my house but was running with way  too many kids that simply weren't good for him. It didn't mean they were bad kids, they just weren't good for Zach to be around. You  can't simply change playgrounds, you have to change playmates. I went through the same thing in my twenties. It didn't mean I hated those people or judged  them, it simply meant I chose another path.

"You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And  you are the one
who'll decide where to go.   (Dr. Seuss)

This kid was from a good family and  know his parents are absolutely and totally devastated...I know I would be.

After he and Zach quit running together I would still see him around town and he always spoke to me with  a smile, "Hey Ms. Cotton!"

He was a good kid who made some bad choices. Zach was lucky, this boy wasn't. This could have just as easily been my son's fate. This could have just as easily been my son. By God's Grace I still have my son and he's doing wonderful.

My heart goes out to his parents, my heart  goes out to  this kid.  My heart  goes out to every parent who prays their kid will turn out to be one of the lucky ones.

I thought about this all day long. It was on my mind and heart  all day and  simply couldn't quit thinking about this boy. Yes it's a tragedy and seems so senseless.

The only positive I can gleam from this is that maybe all the kids who knew and loved this boy (and he really was a sweet kid with a great smile) will look at  their own life and realize how very precious it is and how quickly that gift can be taken away.

Life has no guarantee or come with a warranty. There are no "Do Overs." This is it, you got one shot, take good aim.

Life is this immediate instant.

You may draw in a breath but not guaranteed to be around to even exhale. Life's that fleeting.

Yes I'm one of the lucky ones . I had three kids...

and still do.

Sincere and heartfelt condolences go out to this young man's family. May their son's passing be a lesson to us all...Life doesn't offer "Do Overs."

Geez, I wish for their sake it did.

Til next  time...COTTON

Crazy Day...Again

Started another week at  the mattress gig today. I've taken the advice of one of my FB friends and just quit looking at  the calendar. It got off to a slow start so I wandered around the store taking pics to upload, this being one of them. I know it's going to take a while for peeps to realize we are now open seven days instead of four. Out of all the people who came in I feel like only one of them has no intention of coming back, the others I think I have a shot with. Buying a mattress is a major purchase especially if you get a really nice one and don't blame them for shopping around first.

Here's the kicker...
I was in  the store today ringing up a customer while they loaded their mattress onto their truck when a woman from last week came in. She came in last Tuesday and picked out a mattress, king size bed, dresser and mirror, chest of drawers plus a night stand. I worked her up a quote and she said she would come back next week. When I saw her walk in today thought to myself "BINGO!"

I finished my transaction and asked how she was doing today? She smiled, said she was doing okay but needed ten dollars for gas money and  thought she'd stop by to see if her new friend Kelly might lend it to her? Are you kidding me? (I felt like saying that  but didn't)  Here's the even worse part. When she walked in a man was paying cash for a mattress and had to make change out of my pocket because we were short on ones in the cash box, so she saw me pull bills out of my back pocket.  Yes I had some cash in my pocket; the tips I made last night which have to run us til Friday but simply couldn't turn this woman down. I split the difference and told her I had six dollars I could give her and did.

She smiled and hugged me telling me she would be back Friday to repay me. I told I didn't work there on Friday so she said she'd be back Saturday. Told I didn't work Saturday either but would be there again on Tuesday. She said she would be back then and still wanted that furniture!

After I closed the store I drove across the street to my restaurant job to pick up my pay check. It was only twenty seven dollars and  still owed Barb twenty  from the money she loaned me last week. Heck, at least I still got seven after paying her. I told her about the random woman asking for money  and she looked at me and said "Let me guess, you gave her some money."

Here's the  thing. It's not like six bucks will straighten out our financial situation but maybe it helped this woman's immediate situation. I choose to believe she was in desperate need and my meager contribution helped.

On the other hand, if she DOES come back and buy the $1800.00 worth of furniture and bedding from me, I'll let the six bucks slide. If I never see her again, at least I helped someone out.

On a completely different note, while sitting at  work during a  lull noticed on my FB page that a young girl who went to high school with Massey died after a tough  year long battle with brain cancer.

My worst nightmare is losing one of my kids. To lose one at  the tender age of sixteen almost seems like a crime. This brave young girl fought a year long battle and I choose to think of her not losing her battle today  but earning her just reward. As I  type, she is whole again and cancer free. She isn't in pain and suffers no more. She is an angel now and a lesson to us all. Life has no guarantee or warranty. Life is the instant you draw a breath, being able to exhale is a blessing.

My heart breaks for her family who are the one's who have to live with the grief of losing her.

Their hurt will never go away. They will feel it painfully and sharply for months and months and months if not years. They  will think and dwell on it day after day after day. They will NEVER get over the loss, but just one day somehow learn to live with it.

This girl is gone from their life forever and nothing can change that. I pray they concentrate on the fact that their daughter has changed many lives, struck a chord and made us all aware of how precious the gift of life is. I feel like writing them and saying "Thank you  for the gift of your daughter, she not only inspired us, she brought us together."

Now that's a pretty  great gift! Oh Madeline, you've touched  thousands and thousands, you  truly ARE an angel and  we all thank you for your gift...what an awesome way to be remembered!

Til next  time, COTTON

The World Keeps Turning

"To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to mend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late."

It's been an extremely stressful week for me....so I thought. Work has been painfully slow while the bills just never seem to stop. I count on making a hundred bucks every shift and usually do. Sometimes a bit less but sometimes a bit more. When it's slow for an entire week it is devastating. I certainly don't have any savings...unless you  count the change in the floor of my car. (which I have done twice this week)

Four years ago we were making over six figures and had $14,000 in savings. Today we live day by day, paycheck to paycheck.  I have been blessed with and taken care of by so many family members, friends and even strangers that somehow we have survived. We still have problems and still have a long way  to go...but we are STILL here!

I checked my bank account the other night after I got home from another depressing shift and found I had bounced a check I had all intentions of covering with  a great night at  work the previous shift...which didn't happen and the domino effect started. I sat at the kitchen table alone and cried like a baby. I thought to myself "How am I going to make it?" I'm almost 53 and living like a bag lady with a really nice shopping cart with a roof on top.

I caved and sent my brother a text asking for help. Surprised  he hadn't changed his number or blocked mine, he text back and said to come by the next  day.

I woke up the next  morning with eye lids that looked like I had silicone injected into them and after a quick glance in the mirror determined crying doesn't help one bit  and seem to make gray hair grow even quicker.

Before I went to my brother's house the next  morning my husband mentioned  he'd read on the "know it all" Facebook that  a friend of ours from high school lost their twenty two year old son the night before from a seizure.

This stopped me in my tracks. This humbled me beyond belief. It made me count not only my blessings but my kids...yes they were all accounted for.

I'm crying over having no money when these friends are crying over not having their son.

God is Large and in charge. He must have greater plans for this kid, which is wonderful but hard to understand with our small puny human reasoning. How can you lose a child and ever get over it? It would be a feat to even learn to live with it!

These parents will have to...and to think  I sat crying at my kitchen table over a couple of bills.

The only bright spot, if you can find one is God took him home quickly. He didn't suffer with  cancer,  he didn't linger or waste away slowly, he didn't lose his mind and become someone  they couldn't communicate with and they didn't become parents he no longer recognized.

My brother was right when he said that our own family was lucky..."We  always take the express check out." Both our parents died quickly. One in a matter of seconds and the other in a matter of  days.

That's the way to go if ya gotta go. GO ON! Go on to your glory and go on to your reward.

The hurt doesn't diminish and the pain is still like a knife to the heart but that's the way it works when you are left here on the tumultuous soil of this earth. You just learn minute by  minute, hour by hour and day by  day how to live with it and struggle on.

They have gone on to glory and their reward...They have walked through the pearly gates and their hurt is no more. It's OUR hurt we have to deal with.

I will never cry over bills again or lack of money again. I will never worry about petty  things even if they seem huge and looming in my tiny mind.

I will wake up every day and feel grateful to have woken up. I've said it before and will say it again..."Life is but this VERY instant moment in time."

No guarantees, no "Do overs."

This kid obviously got it right the first time. It will be tremendously hard for his loved ones but they need to keep in mind, he is gone on to  a much greater glory. I hope he tells both my parents, the parents of all my friends and the loved ones we are still missing that we all love them... but are glad they have reached the place where we all hope to join them one glorious day!

Peace be with these parents and my prayers are with them.

Til next  time...COTTON