Finally!

Back at the beginning of February, I got a super speeder ticket in a tiny backwoods county in south Georgia while driving back home to Atlanta for my cousin's funeral.

Tim was livid with me.

The trooper clocked me going 93 in a 70 mph zone while I was passing some old geezer who wouldn't move over. I knew he had me, I was running late, so simply took the ticket and continued on after I realized he wasn't going to let me off with a warning.

(See previous older post about this trooper)

When I found out the ticket was going to cost me $422 and make our insurance go up, I decided to fight it instead of paying. I had to write and explain that I wanted to plead not guilty and request a court date.

That was in February.

I heard back from the State Court Solicitor on May 15, offering me a one time plea offer. They would reduce my speed to 84, with no points on my insurance for a fine of $562...instead of the original $422.

#extortion

I once again declined their more than (not)generous offer of taking even more of my money, instead once again requesting a court date.

I heard back from them on August 15.

My court date was finally set, for September 5, at 9:00 AM.

I had my oil changed, tires rotated, gassed up the car the day before and set my alarm for three AM, after going to bed at one AM.

I had my clothes all laid out and ready to go.

I woke up, brushed my teeth, washed my face and was on the road shortly before four AM for the four hour, ten minute ride to Bug Tussel.

                                                                #BeverlyHillbillies

I got there with thirty minutes to spare...excellent!

Now all I needed was for the cop who ticketed me not to show up, and hopefully the case would be dropped.

I parked and went into the courthouse to ask where traffic court was held. The cop behind the desk by the metal detector said I was in the right place...but I couldn't come in wearing shorts.

I asked him if he was serious?

He was.

"It was in the letter."

I told him I thought I just needed to look nice, thought I did, but guess I didn't.

I had passed an out of date, run down, almost empty looking store which made Big Lots look like Nordstrom on my way to the courthouse, a couple of blocks over, so decided to go there for something fancier to wear.

As  I headed back to my car, another guy in a vehicle also parked by the curb in front of the courthouse, rolled his window down about four inches and hollered to me "Why'd they kick you out?"


The store was a depressing, almost empty huge space with 1978 items for sale, and a few articles of women's clothing, all either XL or XXL.

I finally found a wrinkled tee shirt dress, XS, wadded up on a shelf next to the hunting vests.

Ten bucks.

#HighwayRobbery


I folded up the legs of my shorts, took off my shirt in the parking lot while sitting in my car,  put on my party dress over my shorts and went back to my Shindig at the courthouse.

I  felt like  I had stepped back in time...literally.

They called roll. I said "Here" a little too loudly.

Then I got nervous.

I can't go to jail in a town like this, the big girls will eat me alive.


The Solicitor ran the whole show. I never even saw a judge come into the courtroom. I was called to the bench to sit by the Solicitor so I did.

He pulled out my file, while I admitted to him that I had been speeding, but felt under the circumstances of my journey, and the fact that I haven't have a ticket in over twenty five years, there should be some leniency.

He never even looked at me, but said...

"Mrs. Cotton, considering your clean driving record, we will drop the speed to 84 and your fine will be $142...to be paid within forty five days. Money order only.

They gave me hoops to jump through, so I jumped. They made me wear ugly clothes, so I wore them... but $142 beats the crap out of $562.


It was a good day.


Til next time...COTTON