Thursday, February 4, 2016

Holy Freakin' Toledo!

I got home from work last night around ten and got busy in the house. Pay day was at midnight so got online and scheduled all the bills to be paid this morning. Finished the laundry and put my newly cleaned vacuum cleaner back together, looking brand spankin' new if I may say so myself!  Started to go upstairs and happened to look at the calendar on the kitchen wall.


American Kidney Foundation was coming by for a pick up the next day and had to have all items out and marked by seven thirty AM.

Popped a Natty Light, grabbed three huge black trash bags from under the kitchen sink and trudged upstairs to my room with Ziggy in my way every step of the way. Hopped up onto my king size bed like the boss he is, circled three times and settled into a black doughnut on his side of the bed appearing to immediately be in REM sleep mode.

I opened our walk in closet and got to work. By one thirty I had filled all three bags, two boxes and gone back downstairs for one more trash bag. Here's the rule I used.

"If we hadn't worn it once in three years, it went in the bag."

I got rid of shoes bet Tim hasn't worn in over a decade and same for me. I still had tons of size seven clothes hanging on the racks (been wearing size one for at least six years) and tossed them in too. Got rid of the stupid steamer machine thingy that Tim bought about ten years ago (swearing we'd never have to iron again) and threw in every golf shirt with tattered collars and shorts with rips. I got rid of things I'd never even worn. I actually kept expecting to pull a pair of hip hugger bell bottoms with the three button fly off a hanger but just found enough skinny jeans to sew together to make a pair of bell bottoms for Mama Cass. All Tim's "Magnum PI" Hawaiian shirts went into the bags along with my redunkulous denim mini skirts.

By two AM was exhausted but couldn't believe how tidy our closet looked and even more impressed with how many plastic hangers we owned! We'll never have to buy another hanger unless someone comes up with another use for them.

I went back downstairs and got one last thirty gallon bag, filling it with all the empty Christmas boxes I always intend to use the next year but never do and empty shoe boxes which have no idea why we kept except must have been too lazy to take them downstairs and the closet was a lot closer.

Tied them all up, lined them along the wall and set my alarm for seven fifteen. I woke when the alarm went off, in a zombie state (Ziggy still in one) knowing you can hear when the donation truck pulls into our driveway. At eight I stumbled downstairs dragging bags behind me and piled them all on the front porch putting index cards on each declaring them "Donation Treasures."

Zach was up by nine after crashing the night before on the living room sofa during my upstairs purge right across the hall from his own room.

I had a buyer for his Tahoe which has been sitting in our driveway taking up an ungodly amount of space for almost a year. She was meeting us at one to purchase it and hopefully drive away my (and my  neighbors) eyesore. All we had to do was jump it off after sitting so long and put a new (used) rear tire on. I'd found one for sixty bucks a local tire store. The Tahoe has low profile tires with 22" chrome rims. The car wouldn't crank but Zach said all it needed was a charge and took it to Autozone. While that was charging he went to borrow a hydraulic jack from a buddy to take the flat tire off.

By this time  was ten thirty and were meeting the buyer at one. I told him to go get the jack and would go pick up the charged battery myself.

Of course I got to Autozone only to find the battery was kaput so bought the cheapest one they had after a quick call to Zach. Said he'd pay me for it (which he did) and lugged it home to find him jacking up my driveway eyesore.

Here's the thing we learned about 22" chrome rims. They have one lug nut which requires a special tool as an anti theft device. Did we have that special tool?

That'd be a negative, Ghost Rider.

We had thirty minutes left until this woman was going to meet us to buy this car.

I turned into Mavirick .

I told Zach to get my can of Fix a Flat out of the garage and shoot the tire up... drive it to the tire store, have the new/used tire put on and I would go meet the seller, have the woman follow me to the tire store and do the deal there.

Zach called the woman and told her the problem / complications and asked if she wanted to come another day instead?


Seems she was really excited about buying our eyesore and wanted it today (which was fine by me).

Granted she was getting a great deal. Cosmetically not so great looking but engine ran strong, could sell the rims, make way over half her money back and with a little work probably last a few more years.

I wanted it gone too.

It appears I'd had too many flats this past summer on my Johnny Dear and wasn't enough left in the can to pump up the four inch wide tire.

Massey to the rescue! I sent her to the nearest gas station to buy us another can.Here's the thing my kids have always said about me, and is basically true.

"Our Momma can throw some crap together at the last minute!"

As they've gotten older, use a word other than crap but you still get the jist.

We were originally supposed to meet the buyer at the police dept; wasn't really sure who I was even meeting or if they were even who they said they were and kinda wary. Once she wholeheartedly agreed  was a great place to meet for the transaction and actually appreciated the idea, decided it was okay to simply have her come to my house. What's the worst she was gonna do...steal our bills off the kitchen counter when she used the restroom?

By this time was past time for me to leave for work but felt comfortable enough with the lady and her second driver to leave the rest in Massey and Zach's hands. They got the tire pumped up to the correct PSI and I took off for work, stopping by the credit union with her money order while they all headed to the tire place.

Check cleared.
Tahoe made it to Buck's Used tires.
I made it to work on time.
Buyer must have made the two hour drive back home because I never got a call.

Yep. I can throw some crap together when I have to.

Now  even have kids old enough to help me do it!

Got to work right on time and walked into another Sh*t Show (my next blog) but at least made over another Two Ben Fifty.

Came home from work and turned into our driveway a little before midnight, exhausted but smiling when seeing our driveway free and clear.

Feel like I'm almost to "Z" so going to bed to catch some.

Til next time...COTTON

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