Monday, February 9, 2015

Learning to Like Each Other Again

I took Tim to the airport this morning. He left for his new job in Texas with his new boss before noon. I dropped him off on the domestic side to check in and drove around to park at international where I work and met him at his gate. We got there in time for us to go by the restaurant where I work, drop off all my stuff for work and meet a few of the peeps I work with. The international terminal is a beautiful place, just completed a couple of years ago and has a calming sensation to it compared to the hornets nest known as domestic.

It was nice for him to meet everyone and see the awesome place where I work. One of my managers put it the best way. "Now you both have great jobs, what a gift!"

Tim and I met in 1988 and married in 1990. Jeez I remember the above photo!

Me  in my sixty dollar wedding dress from an outlet shop obviously accentuating my (not) huge boobs and him in the tails he let me pick out. He looked really good that day and of course my mouth was wide open as Tim looks on silently.

Touche' ...we're still both that way.

Our first twenty years together were easy peasy. The last few, not so much.

I think we fell out of like about five years ago. I still love him though and will be his wife until the day I die or he kills me. If he does kill me I'll be just fine with him pleading insanity. I'm enough to drive anybody nuts and Tim's endured it full force these past few years.

The first couple of years were just a shock and slap in our face. The next couple took a toll on our tolerance of each other.

He always took the high road. Me, not so much and the first one to admit it.

The past couple of years it finally boiled over in me, had to go somewhere and unfortunately for Tim hit him full force in the back. Again and again and again.

When things go south (small pun) you eventually come to a point when you throw your hands up, just point at each other and feel nothing they do is good enough.

That was a lot more me than Tim and feel extremely lucky he's still with me.

I'm totally honest when I say our marriage has been crippled. It's solid enough but limping and that's okay too. Til death you do part could be thirty more years if we're both lucky.

Sometimes you have to take a step back to see what's really ahead and I didn't.

Instead I complained and found fault with every breath he took while at home. My own pity party made him the bad guy and me the victim.

When this opportunity for advancement came up he jumped on it and agreed to transfer. I know he'll be glad to get away from me for a while and can't blame him one bit but is making a huge move...and up!

I'll just stay here bossing around Zach and the dogs for a while longer. In two years our house will be paid off and can move with him wherever he gets transferred next.

It's a break we both needed.

Some time to think, some time to advance and some time to remember why we married in the first place.

"I, Kelly, take you Tim, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."

I remember saying those words to him and know he remembers saying them to me.

Life's a crap shoot.

Sometimes you bank big the first time and sometimes you have to roll with the dice and hope for the best.

We've found our current best. I'm here at home with a fantastic job and Tim's moving up and on, without having to hear me constantly, sarcastically and unintentionally beat him down every step of the way.

I think his new job may be God's way of telling me I'm really lucky.

I'm lucky we still love each other.

This is a fantastic chance for us and fantastic chance for our marriage. 

Sure  sometimes feel like it shouldn't be me to say it first but tonight it is.

I love you Tim Cotton and you kick ass for loving me too !


I'll have to admit  look forward to a king sized pillow top mattress alone with the pups. They are much easier to boss around and haven't heard them complain once.

Til next time...Cotton

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