Better Than A Butt Whoopin' !!

The high school that my middle son attends called my house last night during dinner with a recorded message that let me know my son was absent from first block at school.

Earlier that day I had gone to the high school to get a personal code that would give me internet access to his attendance, assignments, grades and missing assignments in each class. He didn't know that I had done this and was vehemently denying being absent from his first class.

After the recorded phone call, his memory suddenly came back to him.

He rides to school with the next door neighbor who is a senior. Zach said that Kevin had taken an extra long shower that made them late (YEAH! RIGHT!!)

So he wouldn't have to go to in school suspension, he had hidden in the bathroom at school for the entire first block and then checked himself into school.

Now I don't know what kind of sense this is all supposed to make, but it made very little to me.

Although we are at war in two different countries...I have been in battle with Zachary in a totally different kind of war since he got out of fifth grade...a battle of the "Wits".

He is a worthy adversary...he can debate and rationalize better than a crooked politician.

On failing his com/lit class with a 69...he remarked that he used to fail with a 25 and he has almost tripled his grade. Anyway, he only failed by one point...and that teacher just has it in for him . (Bless his pea pickin heart)

This is a kid that can debate any and every issue, and is well informed about pretty much everything...except how to pass a stinking class and move on from a teacher that he doesn't like, rather than having to suck it up and be with the "Demon" of a teacher for another nine weeks or another year.

This is the kid that INSISTED on having his hair done in a liberty spike mowhawk...because that was his right to express himself in any way he wanted. (He'll love me bringing out those old pictures when he brings the girl of his dreams home for the first time. I will probably have them blown up into 8x10's to just show his woman how stupid he can be when he gets his freedoms and rights to self expression all in a tizzy).

What about MY rights...to not have a major stroke before the age of fifty? What about MY STRESS level? It is currently off the charts because of my "Boy Genius" who refuses to conform or be mainstream in ANY type of fashion?

My husband, who I lovingly call a "trophy" husband...is just that. He works his butt off for our family and provides us with a nice house and it seems to stop there. He comes home exhausted and plops down in front of Sports center or Dancing With the Stars and I run the entire ship. I cook, clean do the laundry the yard work... make sure the kids have lunch money and rides to and from their activities and sleepovers, take care of the dogs and make household repairs (I AM pretty darn handy) and on top of it all, I still manage to squeeze in a six day work week...sometimes seven.

As I talked with Zach in earnest about his slipping grades and complete rebellion against the educational system that he is forced to endure... I relayed to him that he is slowly KILLING me with stress for no reason. He literally is driving me to a breakdown before my time...and God knows I am crazy anyway, so why push my buttons any faster than need be?

I told him that if he didn't straighten up, they would be left with a widowed "Trophy" dad, who when called into the situation at hand, rules with an iron fist and an even firmer consequence. I said to my son, "How much fun do you think THAT will be"?

His response was evident when I came home from work the next day. The laundry was done, the dishwasher unloaded and reloaded, the trash was out, the dogs fed and the entire house was vacuumed.

I guess that overnight, he came to the realization that he had it pretty darn lucky with me in charge...and left to the iron fist of his father...he would be in a deep pile of DO-DO.

I am telling you that that talk I had with him , and him sleeping on the results of his current actions, was better than ANY butt whoopin' I could have ever given him.

He is smart enough to know what side of the bread is buttered...and it AIN'T dad's.

He has been riding the bus to school in the mornings, helping out around the house in the afternoons and going to bed early on school nights.

I guess that he is thinking "I have got to keep the ole lady alive, or I am really going to be screwed".

I don't care if that is what he is thinking....at least he is thinking and at least he is attending class and completing assignments.

I hope when he is married and has kids, he mails me a gold medal and the biggest apology letter ever written.

The last two decades of my life have been totally devoted to my kids and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I just keep telling myself..."Hey, they ARE Half Tim ".