There But By The Grace Of God, Goes Any One Of Us

I don't want to jinx anything but life has been going pretty well for me. We've had to extend our lease in the tiny rental house but I'm okay with that...it's only temporary and our landlord treats us well.

I'm finally making pretty good money and beginning to build up my savings again (albeit) slowly.

...That's my mantra.




We were all devastated over losing our Charlie...

But the ole guy had a good life with us for almost fourteen years and went peacefully when his time came. We all still talk about and miss him, but at least now it makes us smile when we do.

This was the last picture we ever took of Sir Charles, at the vets office the day he left this world.

                                                             Love is a four legged word.



Life goes on...

A co worker recently got fired from the restaurant. Unfortunately it was warranted; the write ups had been made and the warnings had been given. It still kinda sucks though, for him. The guy had (has) some problems. Fighting your demons is never easy.

Been there done that as well. Maybe in a different way but everyone has demons to battle. Winning the battle is what matters more.

I was off the day it happened. Massey sent me a text while she was working . One of her besties who works with me, told Massey about it, who in turn  relayed the message to me at home. (modern technology)

My heart sank for the guy.

Yeah, he was already riding the struggle bus...which also unfortunately was the only mode of transportation he currently had.

A while back he and I knocked heads during a shift we worked together but a few days later I  felt bad about dogging him out so went to Barnes and Noble to buy him a couple of books I thought may help him figure it all out.

Nothing is better than the written word.

First and most importantly, no one can help you until you want to help yourself, so I bought him a copy of  'The Alchemist'.

One of the greatest, most insightful and inspiring books I've ever read. It can be interpreted differently by every individual who reads it and is true literary art.

I was almost headed to the checkout line with the book when I turned around and asked a young woman where to find another book I thought might help him.

I know there was a big hoopla about parts of it being fiction instead of non fiction after it skyrocketed to a best seller but was still a pretty intense read.

I remember when I read it.

My son Zach (then a freshman in high school) asked me what it was about?  He read it next. Then asked me if he could give it to a girl he knew so she could read it as well to help her with her own struggles?

I don't care if James Frey embellished or took liberties. I care that his book makes a difference for readers.


My friend at work still struggled but seemed to be struggling in the right direction and was greatly appreciative of the books.

On the other hand, bosses have a business to run and the kid was habitually late, and I'm not talking about minutes. He eventually got canned for being almost two hours late for work when a friend didn't show up to give him a ride and he had to walk.

So what can 'I' do now?


First I sent him a message and told him to let me know if he needed anything at all. A week later I loaned (gave) him forty bucks to keep his cell phone on. You can't get a new job if they can't call you back.

Then I started thinking about how well my own life was going now, after such a dismal start here in O town.

There's a pawn shop next door to the Big Lots where I shop. They always have about twenty bikes chained out front. I wandered over there today and found a pretty decent ten speed mountain bike for forty bucks.

It took the guy at the pawn shop twenty minutes to finagle it into my tiny car and drove home with the brake handle stabbing me in the back of my neck, but first went into Big Lots next door and bought a couple of rain ponchos. It rains almost every day here during the summer months, but luckily usually only for about five minutes.

I sent the kid (he's the same age as my youngest son) a text telling him I'd bought a used bike for him and would have it dropped off at his house the next day.

Appreciative doesn't begin to describe how he reacted. He acted as if I had gone out and bought him a brand new car.

I took the bike with me to work the next day. Another server who is friends with him as well said she would absolutely be glad to take the bike by his house after our shift. Her car is much bigger than mine and she got off way before me. She stopped by Walmart and bought him a bicycle lock first. Poor kid, with his luck some numbskull would probably ride off on it the very first time he parked it anywhere without being locked up.

The guy actually cried when he found out I had bought him a form of transportation. He called me a saint. I told him that was borderline laughable and was only doing what friends do for each other. He said he would pay me back the forty bucks on Friday when he got his last paycheck and for the bike as soon as he was working again. I told him both were gifts and only wanted him to do one thing for me.

I asked him to pay it forward to someone else in need when he was finally back on his feet financially.

               It's a simple concept that could literally change the world, if  only we all lived by it.


Here's the even better part...

It made me feel good to be able and do this small thing for someone who truly needed a big helping hand and am more than positive will go full circle and bless my own life even more.

With all the bad in this world (and there is more than a lot) if each and every one of us did just one nice thing for another human being, the world would surely be a more loving place and in return would all receive much more than initially given.

It's the win/win theory I try my best to live by and one I taught all three of my own children.

The change begins with you.

When our life hit the financial skids about six or seven years ago, people rallied to our support in a constant stream of charity, love and prayers. I can literally count well over a hundred people who gave us everything we needed to survive and eventually thrive again. It wouldn't be right for me not to do the same for others when I have the chance.


I worry and sincerely fret about the hate people have for others these days. Opinions are like butt holes, everyone has one. Who am I to hate them for simply having a different looking one?


My way of thinking may not be the exact right way but is the one  I have chosen to live with and by.

We'll all find out whether we're right or wrong one day, when we meet our own chosen Maker.

Until that time we simply need to coexist, live and let live, support instead of bash and be kind to one another.


One day you may find your own self in need of a helping hand. Live your life as a person others will always feel like extending a hand to.

Just saying...

COTTON

Real Reasons For The Season

I met a young woman here in Orlando recently. I don't know her  very well, we've only spoken a few times. She's very quiet...unlike me. We spoke for a few minutes at length the other night and I found out she was working two jobs and seeking a third one. I could tell she had a lot on her mind. I asked if she had any kids? She has four. I asked if she was married? She is. She was worried about making her rent that month and was in jeopardy of losing her home. I asked if the husband was helping her? He wasn't. She quietly said she had asked him to leave, and seek help for his anger issues.

Long story short, he'd become abusive. Her older son is scared to be around him, after being hit by the coward. She told me she supposed she would have to go to the battered womens' shelter that night because she didn't have enough money to pay her rent.

I told her to wait just one more day and got her contact information, telling her I may be able to find her some help and would get back in touch with her.

That story broke my heart...and really ticked me off. To be abusive to your wife is bad enough but to pick on a child...your own child is beyond horrendous and more than cowardly.

I thought about it all night. I knew I didn't have enough money to give her for rent, having just paid my own car note and cell phone bill.

This young woman needed some help and needed it quickly. She was doing her best and had kicked the loser out, taking herself and her kids out of harms way.

After wracking my brain, I made the only phone call I could think of the very next day.

I called my brother and told him Tim and I had both decided what we wanted from him for Christmas this year if he felt like shopping early. He said he would be more than happy to have some ideas from us.

I told him this young womans' story and asked if he could help her pay the rent as a present to us both.

Of course he didn't hesitate for one second, immediately saying yes. Massey went by his office for me and picked up his check while I got ready for work. I called my new friend and asked if she could come by where I worked to pick up a check that night. She said she didn't get off work until late but certainly could if I'd still be there.

She was flat out flabbergasted. She thanked me over and over again, saying she couldn't believe how someone had agreed to help her after only recently meeting.

It is the best Christmas present my brother has ever given us and certainly the best present this young woman ever expected to get.

I did a little investigation work of my own before asking my brother for this gift, just to be safe since I was asking for such a huge favor.

I've always been a pretty good judge of character and turned out my instincts were indeed right.

All this did really, was give her a little breathing room and some time to regroup. Sometimes that's all it takes.

Her landlord couldn't believe it when she called the next day to say she had his rent money, in its entirety. He asked how she had managed that?

She told him, "because I was blessed."

You know, as bad as it got for me and Tim at times...was nothing in comparison to what this woman is going through. Tim has never raised a hand to me and certainly never to any of our kids. We worked through it together, as a team and as parents. Yes we argued and sometimes pointed fingers but was always in frustration rather than anger or violence.

On a side note...I have come up the bomb of all presents for my brother this Christmas. He's not easy to buy for but certainly deserves more than a shirt or golf balls this year.

My new friend called me to say she slept easy and peacefully that night for the first time in a long long time.

Of course you know me...the writer.

When I gave her the check I also gave her one of my nicer note cards with a pre stamped envelope and asked her to please write my brother a thank you note and would be all the thanks necessary.

True Fact.


Without our many blessings from God, family, friends and yes even complete strangers...Tim and I wouldn't be where are are today, and I will be forever grateful to and for them.

My next call will be to my sister, who has worked for and with battered women for years. She can tell me how to best help get this woman as much help as we possibly can.

All it takes... is to step out of your own comfortable life for a moment, realize how blessed you truly are and do whatever you can to pay those blessings forward.

Till next time...COTTON

Reckon I Done Okay After All

Then...

And now...

They were all three raised in this home that I still miss every day...

It was our modest but wonderful home for over twenty years. We still own it but are renting it to my nephew and his wife. I hope they enjoy it as much as we did, and think they will. They have taken care of and fixed it up, adding their own touches. Now that it is paid off, we should be able to fix it up a bit more for them.

I was never the perfect mother, still am not, but I gave it a pretty good shot. By the way all three of my kids have turned out, reckon I done okay after all.

They were never perfect children either but have given me much more joy than grief and a lifetime of memories...mostly wonderful and a few, maybe not  so wonderful but that's what life is all about.

You live and you learn.

It seems crazy that they are now thirty one, twenty five and twenty two.

Sounds more like my current body measurements!

My three children are by far my greatest accomplishment in life. They all had a great beginning in their young lives and were pretty well spoiled by most standards. Trips to Disney every February and a week at the beach every summer. They got pretty much everything they ever asked for, within reason and in return were actually pretty good kids.

When the financial bottom fell out for us, it fell out fast and hard. In hindsight, it couldn't have happened at a better time in their lives. They were all old enough to realize what was going on and how desperate our situation was.

They also witnessed how many people... family members, friends, and even strangers came to our rescue. They helped pay our bills, they bought us food, they even bought us Christmas trees, Thanksgiving dinners and even Christmas presents for them.

I think those lean years are what made all three of my children realize how important it is to be a good person. While we sailed along for years and years, doing better each and every year, we also paid it forward again and again.

I can't  even count how many families, co workers or even strangers we reached out to help. We bought Thanksgiving dinners and Christmas for kids we sometimes didn't even know. 

Funny story...I had a co worker, years ago who was a complete wreck, living in a motel that looked like a crack house but finally scrounged up enough money to rent an apartment. She didn't have anything but her clothes. I packed up a huge box of pans, utensils, bowls, plates, sheets and towels and even threw in two twin size mattresses I had in the garage that she could stack on top of each other for a bed. I borrowed a truck, picked her up at the 'Motel Sex' and took everything to her new apartment, including her.

Of course she had rented a third floor apartment.

Everything went okay until it was time for the mattresses to go up. I remember going up that flight of steps, me in front when she said to me "You're a strong little cuss, I don't even have my end picked up."

Totally a 'bitch, please' moment.

So here we are now, almost a decade later. We made it, we survived and moving ahead once again. Living thirty minutes from the beach and loving it.

Our kids are loving life too.

TJ has rocked life after moving from Atlanta to Orlando to Charlotte and is an excellent provider for his new family.

Zach stayed in Georgia, which broke my heart, but doing what he's always wanted to do...learn to be a chef. He's the sous chef in a new restaurant and working like crazy. We talk at least once a week but I miss him every day.

And then there's my girl. She came into this world, almost killing us both but is my beacon of light.

I love all my kids, but my boys aren't all about the huggy feely stuff...like I am. 

Massey's not so huggy feely either but knows how to kick me into gear when I need it.

She is going to be a college graduate in a few short weeks, finishing her degree on line from Georgia.

We couldn't be prouder. 

Us Clampetts are going back to Georgia so she can walk with her class. We'll have a hoe down at my sisters' house after graduation. 

Here's the thing about life. You don't  just raise kids to survive, you raise them to succeed.

My kids are going to do just that!

It don't come easy, never does. But like they said ...

Kinda feel like our financial temporary set back only encouraged and inspired our own three kids to make their mark in this world fast and furious. 

And they have.

It don't come easy, but that is what makes life great. You get what you give.

Every time.

Three Hundred Sixty Five Days Later

On this day, last year, us Clampetts "Loaded up our truck and moved to Orlan-dee. Sand that is. Hot sun and leezards galore."

Amazingly enough, it's worked out for the best...although I had my doubts at first. The first punch came when the airport didn't immediately hire me. It was a hard blow to take, especially when I thought I would be back to work in a day or two. It took almost a month, and was a pretty agonizing
time for me mentally. Depression is a brutal adversary.

The second punch came before ever getting over the first one. After four days, Zach turned tail and went back to Georgia, homesick. It broke my heart. Seems ironic considering since he and I butted heads more than I ever have with my other two kids. I guess my relationship with Zach just proves that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and has made us both pretty strong(willed). It actually has made us closer. He and I talk more now than we did when he lived with us in our house in Newnan, and both end every single phone call with "I love you".

We've finally just come to terms with butting heads from four hundred miles away. In hindsight, seems like a good buffer. Bonus points, he tells me he loves me a lot more often now.

At least my sister is there to keep an eye on him too if he ever needs anything.

TJ has moved on and up as well.

Our oldest has moved from Orlando to North Carolina, which saddens me but has done great with his life and is a wonderful young man who is providing for his own family and pretty much knocking life out of the park.

Then there's my ride or die.

Massey and I have (luckily) always been close but this past year has made me realize exactly how much I truly depend on her love, wisdom, support and yes, even occasional criticism. Growing up, especially after mama died when I had just turned seventeen, I had Cindy...

Growing old, I have Massey.

Life doesn't get much better than that...or this.

After twenty nine years, we're still together. It's been the ride of a lifetime, with more than a couple of bumps along the way but nobody said it'd be easy.

 I can say with (pretty much) complete conviction that I have lived rather than just exist. What you put into life is what you get out of it.


I've done my best to reach out to stay in contact with friends and relatives back home. There's nothing I like better than writing, and by that  mean putting pen to paper. There is something wonderful about going to your mailbox and seeing a hand written letter or card waiting for you. I have written well over a hundred letters, probably more and have heard back from so many about how much it meant to them.

You know what?

It means a lot to me as well.

Right after my battle with depression when arriving here to find myself unemployed, and Massey kind of feeling lonely too...this happened.

My manager from my old job came to visit us.

Then several of Massey's friends came to visit as well. I love when company visits, you always clean house better.

Then I made friends here.

I can't tell you how much I love these three or how happy it makes me to call them my friends . We are all totally so different it's a wonder we ever bonded. Then again, opposites attract. Always have, always will...take my marriage, please. (huge Rodney Dangerfield pun).

So here we are, one year later.

Older and hopefully wiser.

Looking forward to what our future will bring.

Till next time...

COTTON