We May Think Differently But We're All The Same Inside

 I lived (for over fifty six years) in Georgia.  As a little girl, growing up,  it was overwhelmingly Caucasian where we lived. Our racial division was a road named Norman Berry Drive. The whites lived on the north side of it, the blacks lived on the south side of it. We had our schools, they had theirs. We had our parks, tennis courts and ball fields, at least three or four gyms and an Olympic sized swimming pool, complete with a high diving board which always had a line of us waiting.

 The blacks had one small swimming pool, maybe one gym and for the life of me can't remember one ball park or tennis court.

How humiliating (for them) and embarrassing (for me) was that?

It was just the way things were in the fifties and sixties, especially in the south. The high school I attended was the first one to be totally integrated. They closed the blacks only high school and made it a junior high for all eighth graders from both schools. By the time I graduated it was an even racial divide. There were never any problems or tension, we all simply got along. It was my first real exposure to black culture. The students were all bussed over, dropped off  or drove from the south side of Norman Berry to the north side to attend high school in an all white community.


I often wonder why we can't all still get along?

Not just blacks and whites, but every ethnicity, every religion, every gender, culture, political party or even every different mindset of thinking.

One thing is for certain, cut any person open and we're all the same on the inside.

I'm amazed by people, who while claiming to be a Christian, feel it is okay to bash others on social media, often calling them horrific names, posting derogatory comments, memes and personally attacking them and even their family members.

Umm...have you forgotten about that "Golden Rule" to live by?

Jimmy Carter is a man I admire and is wise beyond his ninety something years. I would have to say since I was born in 1960, three men have stood out to me in my life more than most. My own Diddy, Martin Luther King Jr. and Jimmy Carter.

All men, who may have had faults of their own but overwhelmingly had excellent beliefs and visions for a better future.


I feel as if this nation , my nation, is almost polarized beyond the point of redemption.

We live in a society which seems to favor pointing fingers over extending a hand to hold or help.


I'll be honest. I'm not a fan of  Trump. I didn't like him on The Apprentice, or even before that, so certainly knew I wouldn't enjoy him sitting in The Oval, but he is.

I have never bashed him or his family. It is what it is.

He is our elected president and wish him nothing but success. To wish him anything less would be wrong for all concerned.

I've shaken my head often at his Tweets, especially when he spelled Marine Corps 'Core' and back pedalling on Mexico paying for the wall, which seems now like he intends for to come out of our pockets.

The real problem is that over forty percent of eligible voters never bother to vote.

What a true travesty for democracy.

Let's hold hands rather than hold grudges and point fingers.

Let's come to the table of our future existence, sit down and talk about what we want to leave as our mark and contribution to society as life goes on.

I'd much rather be a lover than a hater.

When will this world realize what my own Momma taught me at an early in the deep south of Georgia?

All you can do is hope. All you can do is pray.

Just don't hate.

Worst four letter word ever.

Till next time...COTTON

La Familia

I've been serving so long, it was technically called waitressing when I began my now almost forty year career in the business.

I enjoy it because number one, it best suits my personality and skills set and number two, has always provided pretty well for me. I can remember making about $13,000 a year when I first started doing it full time in the late seventies. I peaked at a net income of over $70,000 while working at the airport.

Not bad for a college drop out.

It has its ups and down, but what job doesn't?

I don't think there was one Hispanic working in the restaurant where I first worked. That's hard to find these days.

Boy, the times have times changed

I think working in the service industry so long is also what helped shape my opinion of minorities in the work force.

A couple of true facts I researched:

(2016)

The restaurant and foodservice industry is one of the most diverse in the United States. It employs more minority managers than any other industry. Women represent 55 percent of the restaurant workforce, and more than a fourth of all foodservice managers are foreign-born.


 Over 9.5 million people worked in restaurants and bars in August of 2011 with 8.6 million working in non-supervisory positions. In 2010, 52 percent of these workers were women, 11 percent were African American, 6 percent were Asian, and 22 percent were Hispanic or Latino.


I can say with full confidence, and will, that my Latino and Hispanic co workers have always been some of the hardest working people I have ever met and are more often than not, the life blood of a restaurant.

So with all that rant said and done...have a funny story about work tonight.

I went into work at six PM. I wasn't a closing server so really didn't know what kind of money I'd make. Closing servers get to suck up all the money after all the other servers are cut from the floor.

It wasn't super busy but we had a crazy, and I mean crazy one hour pop.

It was like someone had driven them all together in a Greyhound bus up to the door of the restaurant and let them all pile out at once.

I was so in the weeds it wasn't even funny.

*For peeps who don't work in the industry, "In the weeds" mean you're so buried and behind that you can't even see a way out."

I normally don't have to ask for help from others and didn't for about forty five minutes. I was close to going down in flames, with sweat running down both sides of my arm pits.

I went into the kitchen with an armload of  dirty dishes, repeating my mantra over and over again, so as to remember what I needed to do or ring into the computer next.

One of the Hispanic cooks working Sautee', the closest station by the dish room, stepped off line and took every item from me and carried them all to dish room. Then he did it again less than two minutes later. Five minutes later a food runner (also Latino) saw me headed through the dining room, once again on my way to the dish room with another bobbling load, and relieved me of my unstable stack of dirty plates. He did it several more times within one hours' time.

It was like the the instructions on old shampoo bottles... "Lather, rinse and repeat."

With their help, two minutes later I was back on top of the game.

It almost got out of hand and would have panicked without their help.

With their help, my tables all had an amazing experience and I made pretty great money in the span of less than three hours.

After the rush, I went to the expo line and announced "Attention Kitchen, you rocked that...and job well done."

Not one of my customers' dishes came out late or got sent back and everything that hit my tables was on point.

It's a pretty terrific kitchen staff I work with and the main reason I am able to make the money I do.

Massey had made brownies yesterday for me to take to work and  had them all in a gallon size plastic bag in my trusty lunch box. I tossed the baggie on the counter of expo, thanked every one of them (all Hispanic but one) and told them to enjoy the brownies.

If you've ever been a server, there's nothing worse than the kitchen crashing during a 'Hard Push' ...and it was a pretty hard push.

After all was said and done, I did my side work and cleaned my station.

I clocked out, with a hefty wad of bills in my apron.

I went to the back of the kitchen to retrieve my umbrella (never leave home without one in Florida) and get my now empty lunch box from my locker. I had brought treats for the dishwashers and sous chef as well.

Another female server was talking by the lockers with about three other cooks. They were all four Latino.

Here's the thing about Latino women talking with another Latino, to a JawJa Gurl, born and bred.

Number one, they speak extremely animated, fast and furiously and number two,  always seem highly irritated for some unknown reason.

I'm sure American women sound the same to Latino women who aren't fluent in my language.

So I'm getting my things out of my locker, kinda halfway listening to her when I hear the word "Gringo".

I was totally kidding, but said (being funny)  "Hey, hey, hey..don't be talking about us white folk while I'm still standing here!"

She immediately said "Oh no, no,no,no it was nothing like that! A friend of mine recently married a white guy and was just telling them how well they are doing together... really!!"

All the cooks  started to chuckle. The server was laughing as well, still insisting she wasn't talking about me.

Then as I walked out of the kitchen to go home, slowly shook my head but smiled at her,  and said ...

"Puta please!!"

I've never heard cooks laugh so hard or much and enjoyed making them laugh after such a really, really tough but successful shift. The server was cracking up as well.

Here's the thing...

When you work in a great restaurant, you're  all Familia.

Simply said, there are good people and bad people in this world. Nothing else about them really matters.


I'm not the best person in the world, but most certainly not the worst.

I consider not being the worst a compliment, along with my graying hair and wrinkles, feeling like I've earned all three...sometimes the hard way.

I think Tim may (most probably) sometimes think to himself, "What the hell was I thinking when I asked this crazy woman to marry me?"

I have a pretty quick wit and sharp sarcasm seems to come easily to me. Both are excellent tools of survival in this world we live in today.

I'll point a finger at wrong doings in a heartbeat and extend a hand to help the wronged just as quickly. We need and have to support each, other instead of tear each other apart.

Tim married his complete opposite. Together, we complete each other. That's a total package. 

It's been a long journey for us. We nearly lost everything; after twenty years of living on easy street...to almost ending up on skid row with our three young'uns forced to watch their parents' debacle of feeling like failures. 

In hindsight, think our three kids needed to witness our fail...and ultimate survival.

Our kids learned, at the exact time in life they needed to,  how life can simply change on a dime. They saw how quickly comforts, taken for granted can be taken away. They learned they may have to fight like crazy but also to never, ever give up.

It was the single greatest lesson Tim and I could  have ever taught them about navigating life.

They have seen our struggle and they have seen us survive. They have been taught to be accepting of others, whether it be with help from or learning to help others.

More poignantly put:

This world needs to stop hating because of race, religion, immigration status or Tweets. As I said before, what matters more is whether you are a good person or a bad person.

Good things happen to good people.

Bad people are the minority in this world, it's time for us to show them who's in charge...and certainly isn't them.

That's the minority we need to be worried about.

Live your life as if there was no tomorrow, because it is never gauranteed.

Be the best person you can and always strive to be a better one.

That is the single thing you can do to help the world beat the evil odds.


Till next time...

COTTON

The Married Single Life

In 1990 I bought my wedding dress for sixty bucks from the JC Penney Outlet. I think Tim paid more for his tux rental. I borrowed the hat, shoes, necklace and earrings. I still looked okay back then, but Tim was so handsome. I remember when he took a second job delivering pizza for the restaurant I worked for. The other delivery guy called him, Timberly...he was absolutely that pretty to look at.

Trust me, I had to hold his hand tightly on our honeymoon while we were in San Francisco, before traveling up the coast. He was greatly admired by many women and men.

Our past ten years have made me shrink in size but grow in wrinkles and lines on my face. They turned Tim totally gray and gave him ten extra pounds, but in hindsight seems a small price to pay. I took care of the gray in my own hair with a wonderful thing called highlights done from home with your daughters' assistance.

We're transplanted (formerly Georgian) Foridians now...and seems to suit us both. After an over five year job search he landed his greatest job ever and has knocked it put of the park.

Even better, he travels out of town for work every other week, from Tuesday morning until Friday evening.

When you have had ten years of financial and emotional stress on your thirty year relationship, nothing is better than absence making the heart grow fonder, every other week.

I have my bestie here with me.

She has been my rock and is on the doorstep of making her own mark in this world, graduating from college in early December.

Massey Cotton..."Make the world great again!"




There is nothing better than seeing your children succeed, and my three are doing just that.

They all fought like crazy for over a decade, then suddenly bonded again like they were Gorilla glued together.

When you truly love someone, love sticks.

The Way of Love

13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have aprophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, bso as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 cIf I give away all I have, and dif I deliver up my body to be burned,1 but have not love, I gain nothing.

4 eLove is patient and fkind; love gdoes not envy or boast; it his not arrogant 5 or rude. It idoes not insist on its own way; it jis not irritable or resentful;2 6 it kdoes not rejoice at wrongdoing, but lrejoices with the truth. 7 mLove bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, eendures all things.

8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For nwe know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but owhen the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For pnow we see in a mirror dimly, but qthen face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as rI have been fully known.

13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Our life has been the ride of a life time. We left this home in Georgia after over twenty years, I still miss it every day.

We've started to bloom again where we've now been planted. Who knows what the future holds? No one knows, but do know this...

We have survived, we have conquered and we are able... again!

If I die today, tomorrow or in the next ten seconds... I'll feel okay about it; not that I will have a choice, but feel like I'm a pretty good person and have done a pretty good job as of late.

I was a wreck in my twenties, leveled out in my thirties and plowed ahead in my forties. My fifties have been tough, not gonna lie but totally approaching sixty with a Pay It Forward mentality. (best movie ever)

The thing this world lacks more than anything is compassion.

How can you hate someone for simply being their own self? How can you hate a person for having a different view? How can you hate a person because of their sexuality, religion or color of their skin? How can you hate a person for wanting to come to America, illegally?

Trust me, If I was a Mexican, had kids in Mexico City and thought I could give my kids  a better life here, I'd dig the tunnel myself.

Are we so selfish that we don't want others to live free, have a better life like ours and at least give them the chance to succeed?

Check yourself.

Put yourself in other peoples' shoes.

If they don't fit, go buy a pair to donate.

Just saying...COTTON

Orlando Proud

As anxious and ambiguous as I've been about moving from my home state of over fifty six years and relocating to Orlando, Florida... have never felt prouder of my new city as I did today.

When we first moved here last year,  Massey and I drove around downtown Orlando for a day to check out our new city and drove past the Pulse nightclub. It was the sight of one of the deadliest mass shootings in U.S. history.

Forty nine innocent people died in that club, simply just there to have a fun time. Dozens of others were injured. The place was an iconic impromptu memorial and gave me chills as we drove by.

The city had all kind of things going on this past week to mark the one year anniversary. There were numerous 4.9k runs, blood drives, art exhibits and a huge memorial service planned at Lake Eola, a pretty big lake located smack dab in the heart of downtown Orlando.

I didn't have to work until six thirty so watched the local news pretty much all day, following the events and interviews.

There was one remarkable interview with a city commissioner, who also happened to be openly gay and has served in public office for decades. She was talking about last year, when a day or two after the shootings a vigil was held at Lake Eola for the victims. She said they expected about a hundred people to attend but well over a thousand showed up, completely surrounding the entire lake.

Then she said something I don't think I ever heard about that vigil. She said just as the vigil started that rainy afternoon in 2016...the clouds suddenly broke.

And just like that...

A complete rainbow appeared over their heads.

Wait...it gets even better.

 Just as the rainbow stretched across the sky above and everyone looked up to see...  a flock of exactly  forty nine birds together flew over Lake Eola.

This was the actual picture taken. I found it on the internet. (you can google anything these days)



If that isn't The Hand of God,Telling us to Love... what is?



Tonight they held the first anniversary vigil to celebrate and remember the victims.

Looked like a sell out crowd to me, and #OrlandoStrong!


It even seemed telling to me that on this exact same day, the first thing to show up on my FB memory timeline this morning was this Paulo Coelho quote from The Alchemist...shared to me from Massey a few years back.

The love felt in, around and throughout this city, my new city  over the past year and especially in the past week or so has been an amazing think to witness.

You don't choose your personal calling, it chooses you.


Dr. Seuss put it perfectly.

Today was a day when the hair stood up on the back of my neck and told me time and time again as I watched the events unfold, I live in a pretty great city and hope to make it an even better one.

Til next time...COTTON