Happy Birthday, Tim

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIM...

 So my husband just turned fifty about a hour ago. He is upstairs snoozing away and I just got home from work. The above photo was taken shortly after we met and before we got married...see how happy he still looks!

 He asked me to marry him on our third date...I should have known then he wasn't much of a thinker but after two years of putting him off we finally wed in his parent's backyard on a warm September afternoon.

 Just like I still am over a quarter of a century later... I planned it all and did the reception myself, the only thing I didn't prepare myself was the wedding cake. It was a lot of fun, we married by  the pool in his parents back yard next  to the  the shuffle board court (he grew up a LOT different than me) and had our reception in their pool house. We flew to California the next  day and spent a week, flying into San Francisco and driving up to  Sacramento, up to the wine country and then to Tahoe. We drove back down the Pacific Coast Highway and flew out of Los Angeles a week later...still crazy in love.

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 TJ was just four years old (he was two when we met) and Tim was lean and mean. He had a good job running a route for a bakery and left for work at three in the morning. I worked for Johnny's Pizza as a manager and worked nights. Very conducive for having more kids and never having to hire a baby sitter.

 A new house and two kids later he assumed this position and has never recovered. Sometimes I think I hear him in the bathroom beating his head against the wall screaming "She wasn't THAT cute...how stupid AM I?"  I'll be the first to admit I am a bit of a challenge (trying to make myself feel better here.)

Tim and I are absolute and complete opposites. I bet he has said maybe a thousand words since we met and I say about two hundred per minute. He listened to me for about the first year but had ear plugs secretly implanted by our second anniversary and has just learned to say when I shout out my commands and lists of things to do... "I'll do my best" and either walk away or simply wait for me to leave for work. I honestly think it worked great for the first couple of decades.

 We were sitting Phat and had reached the six figure income bracket. We weren't rich by any means but had a hefty 401K and each had pretty secure jobs. He got chunky around the waist and never wanted to admit it. He still wanted me to still buy him size 32" jeans when I KNEW he was at LEAST a "34.

 Jeez Louise, why squeeze your gonads to death ? We already have three kids and I gave you  the wonderfully thoughtful gift of a vasectomy for Christmas...including the co pay and the bag of frozen peas for your recovery in the recliner.

We were raising three pretty great kids and living the American dream. Then just as suddenly the bottom dropped out and we were below  the poverty line and had the younger two kids on Peach Care, I had to file for food stamps and unemployment and we tumbled and tumbled and tumbled. It's been a two year battle, but battle we did!

It has taken a toll on all of us and of course I felt like I had to do the most (I always do.) He had to take a part time job stocking store shelves over night and parked cars at an auto auction in the mornings. I kept on waiting tables and never stopped. I had a new job where they never said I was in over time so I worked and worked and worked and worked. I was okay until year number two started to roll around and then I simply snapped. I honestly don't know why he is still with me. I bitch at him  more than I do  the dogs. I don't mean to but the dogs always wag those cute little short tails and snuggle up close while Tim just skulks around and waits for me to either get tired of talking or leave for work.

We have almost made it. We are close and it is because BOTH of us have worked our butts off and literally hundreds of people have helped us.  So Tim is turning fifty (Thank God) I hate being older than him although I have beaten him down into thinking he is sixty.

I took his birthday off and that in itself almost killed me. It's Valentine's weekend and when you are a server you have to strike when the iron is hot. I had to take a step back and look at our life. It has sucked for two years. He has put up with my big fat mouth and taken all my verbal punches. He deserves a day for just HIM. My boss is treating us for dinner at his restaurant. I could take him somewhere else but there isn't a better place to eat within a thirty mile radius and why turn down a freebie?

   He has stuck it out. He has been a stand up guy,  a stand up Dad and a stand up husband. Being married to me cannot be easy...heck I feel like being ME isn't easy.

It's time to give credit where credit is due. Yes I am a work horse albeit a skinny one, but that is my nature. I work like a demon but tend to throw it in Tim's face  too often. It's not like he's still sitting in the recliner with his bag of frozen peas.  The finances are getting back to semi normal...it's time to get my marriage back to normal. If I was Tim married to ME I would have bailed two years ago.

"For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in  health til death do us part."

Til next time...COTTON